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DUmmie FUnnies 08-09-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Models Midnight Cowboy Outfit For Texas Trip)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 9, 2005 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 08/09/2005 7:25:06 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

If you have ever seen the movie, Midnight Cowboy or seen certain denizens of Times Square late at night decked out in their urban version of what they think are Western clothes, then you have a good idea of the outfit that Pied Piper Pitt is wearing on his trip to Texas in order to grandstand for the cameras in yet another desperate attempt to draw attention to himself. Take a look at the Pitt pic modeling his tush in clothes no real cowboy would be caught dead wearing in this THREAD titled, “So do I look ready for Texas?” Um… No, Pitt. You’re not ready for Texas but you are definitely ready to sell your hiney on Times Square sometime after midnight. So let us laugh at Pied Piper Pitt’s voyeuristic fashion fantasies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that even Ratso Rizzo, looked more manly than Pitt, is in the [brackets]:

So do I look ready for Texas?

[Yes. You do look ready to enter the bathroom of a seedy Texas bathhouse, Pitt.]

Car, hotel, flight, directions, all set. Oh...and I've got my hat, too.

[And don’t forget your jar of petroleum jelly.]

You'll need a six pack and a pistol with you as well. I think it's a state law that all drivers have these items with them at all times.

[Pitt will need that pistol to protect himself from the REAL Texans who will want to lynch him for wearing that cowboy wannabee outfit that looks like it was designed by Truman Capote.]

Don't forget your suncreen!

[SPF 69.]

Don't forget the boots

[These boots are made for stalking…]

Getcher ass over ta Shepler's and pick up some pointy boots.

[Yes. Pitt will certainly get some pointy boots in his ass.]

yankee all over, who you foolin, lol

[Apparenly no one. Pitt will be laughed at the moment he crosses the Texas state line wearing that Midnight Cowboy outfit.]

They're gonna think you're Tim McGraw. Get a long-legged blonde to go with you and you'll get more attention than you ever dreamed of.

[Since Roy is gone, Siegfried is available as a long-legged blonde.]

Not sure about Texas ...but if I were you I'd steer clear of Mississippi looking like that!

[I’d steer clear of this planet looking like that.]

Like a Mass Ave. Cowboy.

[Like an Ass Ave. Cowboy.]

Wanna borrow my spurs? They jingle jangle jingle and have very big rowels. Ohhhh, you would be so HOT!

[It sounds like you want Pitt to jingle your jangle in the George Maharis Memorial Restroom.]

the pistol sounds like a good idea too

[It sounds like you want to be around when Pied Piper Pitt’s Pistol shoots off.]

I don't know how to write it but whoo aah! I'm so happy I'm so happily married. You're a dangerous single person.

[Who performed your marriage ceremony? Mayor Newsome?]

Not bad, but lose the earing if you want to be taken seriously..

[Better yet, lose both earrings.]

or add a construction guy and a policeman...

[YMCA! YMCA!]

cute enough to kiss

[Is that you, Mayor Newsome?]

With respect to the pricky sticky stuff...I'd advise leather shoes. Opuntia and sand burrs play hell with sneakers.

[You’re gonna get Pitt all aroused talking about prickly sticky stuff.]

Now call yourself "Billy Ray Pitt" and you're all set.

[Better yet, call yoursel “Willie Sway Pitt.”]

How's your drawl!

[Not quite as good as his lisp.]

Recommend a stick of Itch-X for the Fire Ant bites…

[With that outfit, I’m sure Pitt will find a stick to scratch his itch.]

Is this for some kind of homosexual rodeo?

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

Dude, Where in the Hell is YOUR toothpick?

[Down by the seat of his pants.]

You look ready to join the Village People! Do you have chaps?

[Pitt’s Chaps are the Chaps in the Village People.]

Be still my beating heart .....you look hot WP...definitely ready!

[Is that you, Tennessee Williams?]

You should have shorts, bluejeans are to hot, a strawhat, and you don't need cowboy boots.

[Just bikini briefs and a cowboy hat along with flip-flops are all Pitt needs.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; midnightcowboy; ridethebolognapony; willpitt
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To: PJ-Comix; Charles Henrickson; doug from upland
The next assignment is to come up with updated "Midnight Cowboy" lyrics.

How about this, instead:

Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Dress Up Like Gay Cowboys

Progs ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold.
They'd rather give you a screed than diamonds or gold.
Large "gay-pride" banners and tired ol' cliches,
And each night begins a new day.
If you don't understand him, an' he don't die young,
He'll prob'ly just write away.

Mamas, don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
Don't let 'em write weblogs or go to teach-ins.
Let 'em be pollsters and lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they love.

Progs like smokey bathhouses and have hung-over mornings,
Little warm gerbils and minors and boys of the night.
Them that don't know him won't like him and them that do,
Sometimes won't know how to take him.
He does wrong, he's... um... "different" and his pride won't let him
Do things to make you think he can write.

Mamas, don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
Don't let 'em write weblogs or go to teach-ins.
Let 'em be pollsters and lawyers and such.
Mamas don't let your babies dress up like gay cowboys.
'Cos they'll never stay home and they're always alone.
Even with someone they love.

101 posted on 08/10/2005 8:57:08 AM PDT by kevkrom (WARNING: If you're not sure whether or not it's sarcasm, it probably is.)
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To: kevkrom

LMAO!!!!!
Very good....


102 posted on 08/10/2005 9:00:00 AM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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To: kevkrom

Poor pathetic Pitt.


103 posted on 08/10/2005 9:00:04 AM PDT by doug from upland (The Hillary documentary is coming -- INDICTING HILLARY)
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To: PJ-Comix

Best...DUFU...ever!


104 posted on 08/10/2005 9:21:40 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (God Bless 3rd Battalion, 25th Marines, Heroes Proved.)
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To: Mr. Silverback

Thanx. That is one reason why no AM DUFU today. I need to let this one run at the top a while longer.


105 posted on 08/10/2005 9:31:48 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Recommend a stick of Itch-X for the Fire Ant bites…
 
I thought in Will's circles, that stuff was for "jock rot" 

106 posted on 08/10/2005 9:49:27 AM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us (I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making obscene gestures)
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To: NRA1995
There is a term the DUmmies just love to use that definitely applies to WillPits ridiculous picture and his silly hat.

The Urban Dictionary web site defines this term as :

"One whose head is so far up their rear end it could pass for a hat; used to describe a person who is stubborn, cruel, or otherwise unpleasant to be around."
107 posted on 08/10/2005 10:17:20 AM PDT by MisterRepublican ("Therefore, a demand for an accounting of the vast discrepancies must also be public.")
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To: SCALEMAN
Thank you kind sir, your good wishes are appreciated.

BTW, in lieu of Chinese-made trinkets and witty birthday cards, I have arranged with my favorite charity to accept monetary donations in my name. Just make all checks and money orders payable to me and I will see to it that they are credited to the correct account.

108 posted on 08/10/2005 10:23:21 AM PDT by epow (The only fish that always swims with the current is a dead fish.)
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To: ReeWalker
Thanks for your good wishes Ree Walker.

If you can't decide on a gift, remember, Miss Manners says that pictures of dead presidents are always in good taste.

109 posted on 08/10/2005 11:50:09 AM PDT by epow ( The only fish that always swim with the current are dead fish)
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To: epow
Well if I had any pics of dead presidents I'd sure send ya some....
110 posted on 08/10/2005 11:51:27 AM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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To: epow
If you can't decide on a gift, remember, Miss Manners says that pictures of dead presidents are always in good taste

Lincoln laying in state

Here ya go.. enjoy

111 posted on 08/10/2005 12:07:32 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Completely Useless Before September)
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To: PJ-Comix

To quote Master Shake: This is the gayest thing since gay came to gay town...


112 posted on 08/10/2005 12:14:22 PM PDT by Welsh Rabbit
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To: ReeWalker
Does that hat look like it's been stuck in a closet since the 80's??

It does like something left over from the brief Aussie craze in the late 80's.
113 posted on 08/10/2005 12:21:38 PM PDT by Welsh Rabbit
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To: Welsh Rabbit

It's not an Aussie oilskin...It looks like one of those cheapie Indiana Jones ones..


114 posted on 08/10/2005 12:24:46 PM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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To: queenkathy
It's cut funny...

And not the ha ha kind of funny...
115 posted on 08/10/2005 12:25:26 PM PDT by Welsh Rabbit
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To: Welsh Rabbit
It's cut funny... And not the ha ha kind of funny...

Like he had an oops with the clippers....
116 posted on 08/10/2005 12:35:44 PM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Wow, what a bad ass, looks like he just came out of the Matrix or maybe a bathhouse.
Not the most masculine guy in the world.

If anyone's looks ever screamed 'pretentious', here's the poster boy.
117 posted on 08/10/2005 12:51:35 PM PDT by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it. Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
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To: SCALEMAN

Gee, thanks a bunch. Nothing like being shown a picture of a funeral on my birthday to remind me that I'm now one year closer to that event myself. Do you also burn ants with a magnifying glass in your spare time? :-)


118 posted on 08/10/2005 2:03:09 PM PDT by epow ( The only fish that always swim with the current are dead fish)
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To: All

Most of the DUmmie threads are about Cindy Sheehan right now. Therefore nothing much in the way of fresh material. If anybody sees an interesting thread, then FreepMail me the link. Thanx.


119 posted on 08/10/2005 2:13:58 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Most all the "Cindy" threads now are just send money for any and everything.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4306268

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4302470

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4306489


120 posted on 08/10/2005 2:19:17 PM PDT by ReeWalker ( I never have guilt EVER!!!)
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