Missing White People's News Network

radio-info.com National TV board ^ | 07/03/05 | dampier

[raccoonradio]

OK, I definitely think I'm dreaming this week, but after a spring of having the news canceled on the 24/7 cable channels because of:

- Terry Schiavo
- CNN breaking an arm patting itself on the back for 25 years and dropping news
- Runaway Bride
- Michael Jackson
- Crime Week/Special Report Documentary Repackages/CSI: Rehash

Now it's clear the news has been completely canceled because of missing white people. If it isn't the girl gone missing on Aruba which Fox is absolutely addicted to covering (Greta "owns this story," much to the annoyance of Bill O'Reilly whose now #2 on Fox, and Geraldo's grandstanding), it's the misdirected cub scout in Utah, and now the two kids in Idaho. You would have thought they kidnapped the Bush twins.

These are all compelling stories to the local/regional markets in which they occur, but it's inexcusable to have Fox and MSNBC race to the bottom of the barrel to see who can outshame themselves with endless coverage of these stories on a national/international level.

Of course, CNN isn't left behind on this, but they're also busily promoting their special military propaganda pieces for the 4th holiday, right down to Wolf Blitzer shamelessly showing himself being photographed by the troops, cheering on his adopted Wolf batallion, and spending more time making himself the story instead of reporting on it dispassionately.

Of course, what's even more shameless is your personal guide to pre-determining whether or not this story gets covered:

1) Is missing person white? If yes, go to two. If no, cancel report and instead show the clip of what Tom Cruise said today.

2) Is missing person blonde? If yes, hire composer for special theme music, insert quarter hour updates. If no, only dwell if it's a missing child.

3) Is missing person a female? If yes, reserve plane tickets to send network reporters into field. If no and this is Fox, check to see if they were from a "red state" and go to 4 if answer is yes.

4) News red alert. Cancel all news. Provide solid coverage. Bring in psychics or John Edwards to see if he can communicate with them. Talking heads and book authors who have no real knowledge of the case are great filler. Rent news copters or buy footage. Engage the Speculatomoter (tm) and provide comfort to viewers by asking questions like, "how long can they live before the wolf pack gets to them," "how many times can the child molestor have sex with the kids before they are found," "we have a exclusive BREAKING NEWS report on this story and then interview the neighbor who says they last saw the kid wearing that spring outfit from Gap, Jr." (Run Gap, Jr. ad).

If the story ends badly, order all female anchors to report to work in black and preferably veiled.

It's nice to know the "news channels" want to make the whole country victims of other people's tragedies by basically shutting down any news reporting and instead run this schlock.... I guess it's time to ask for Al-Jazeera's new English language news channel. I saw it and, OHMYGOD, they were running news. That's well above MSNBC, which is running those moldy repurposed and repackaged Dateline pieces as "documentaries." I'm sure glad there's nothing at all happening in Iraq or whatever that country is we're involved in because that leaves room for that Mary Kay LaTourneau hour long special!!!

[raccoonradio]

interesting message board post.

Laura Ingraham calls it "Tragedy TV"

"The bubbleheaded bleach blonde comes on at 5
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die
Give us dirty laundry

"Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set, we need dirty laundry"
--Don Henley

[weegee]

Television news is ALL about exploitation and so little about actual information.

Watch what happens when a big storm is approaching. "Will the big floods be coming our way? Tune in a 10pm to find out!" Thanks. I COULD do something for my safety now but you'd rather turn it into ratings.

It is the latest in "cliffhanger" suspense, "Find out at 11 if the small child/bride/etc. has been located yet!".

If the mainstream media was not monolithic and did not follow a herd mentality we would not fall into news cycles where every outlet is reporting "shark attacks" or "pitbulls gone mad".

I have no use for any television news outside of headlines (updated regularly). I'd like to see video of stories but so often the focus is on the anchor. Why do I even need to see a talking head at all? Roll footage, dammit. Tape is cheap and it is harder to rewrite a wire story as your own "report" if you must provide footage to prove you were at the event you are reporting on. Did old newsreels ever cut back time and time again to show the narrator? Certainly audiences didn't watch newsreels for "breaking" stories, it was to see moving images of stories they had already heard.

Broadcasters have shown that while they are reluctant to leave any breaking news story (including national tragedy) they have rotten journalistic standards and skills when it comes to actually covering breaking news. In part it is why so many "Sterns Rules" callers get through in such moments.

[raccoonradio]

Yes--first the teasers before the news ("Big storm heading our way, details at 11") and then just basic info during the newscast urging you to stay tuned ("I'll tell you how many inches of snow are expected later on")

>>a herd mentality we would not fall into news cycles where every outlet is reporting "shark attacks" or "pitbulls gone mad".

yes--if people tuned out all this they wouldn't do it,
but if it means ratings, it's Shark Attack/Missing Child/
Jacko Trial city.

[weegee]

We've only just seen the beginning of it. All coverage will have to ramp up on future court cases so that they can refer to those as the "trial of the century".

Wacko Jacko's case will have to be left in the dust with even MORE around the clock reporting.