Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 06-07-05 ("I Believe" ...AGAIN!!!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 7, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/07/2005 6:15:17 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE! I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE! I CAN’T BEEEEELEEEEVE at this late date that the DUmmies have yet ANOTHER “I BEEEELEEEVE” THREAD going in DUmmieland. As you may remember, DUmmie Doohickie started several “I BELIEVE” threads following last November’s election in which he and others expressed their FERVENT belief that John Kerry would be inaugurated on Jan. 20. This series of threads continued until about he middle of January when even DUmmie Doohickie was bowled over by harsh reality. So now it is almost 6 months since Inauguration Day and we have ANOTHER “I BEEELEEEVE” thread. So are they trying to create their own reality of going back in a time machine and from that point creating a new reality of Kerry being inaugurated? No. The new “I BEEELEEEVE” theme eschews any specificity whatever in favor of a general feel-good theme along the lines of “I BEEELEEEVE the Baddies will be driven from power and then good stuff gotta happen.” I BEEELEEEVE the DUmmie yearnings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hardly BELIEVING that the DUmmies are willing to make themselves such laughingstocks again, is in the [brackets]:

I Believe.

[We know, DUmmie bleever, and we look forward to your comedy act. Continue your shtick…]

I believe a few things are true at this moment in history.

[Start the drum roll for the punchlines…]

First, that the theft of the election of 2004 continues to grow more evident and obvious, and that the grand forces of history are joined with the energy of a great many passionate Americans who won’t rest under the rotten mantle that has settled upon us.

[I think you have been watching too many old campy monster Japanese movies with the theme of radioactive creatures… “Day by day, grand forces of history have joined with radioactive energy that won’t rest under the rotten mantle of the earth to form a race of tiny DUmmies.”]

Second, that the anti-democratic forces that have managed to gain a grip on the three branches of our federal government, intimidate the press out of being the watchdogs they have historically been, and who brought us to war on the basis of lies and their ability to game all the national and international systems, have made a fatal error. They have underestimated the decency of Americans.

[Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. Same theme. Anti-Democratic forces took over the country but they underestimated the decency of Americans AND the power of Buck Rogers.]

You can’t really blame them; they themselves don’t possess that decency.

[Because the EVIL Republicans are Morlocks---“The Time Machine.”]

The decency to say that any system that allows innocent people to be tortured to death, because of our suffering and fear, is not what we stand for.

[We can’t help it. The Democrat Eloi just meekly line up at the sound of the whistle to enter the underground Morlock caverns.]

The decency to see the wisdom of the way the U.S. Constitution apportions the power to send American men and women onto the battlefield of war.

The decency to actually believe that it should be the decision of the people, through their votes, to choose their government.

[I regret to inform you, DUmmie bleever, that your high school paper is only going to get a grade of “D” due to it’s utter lack of constitutional knowledge plus not having the slightest bit of specificity whatever.]

And as surely as I know that they would effectively destroy the two-party system, I know and believe that they are failing. Because they don’t understand the decency of America and what it really stands for, and really thrives on.

[You get a coupon discount to Disney World every time you write “decency.”]

Americans don’t roll over. Not for terrorists. And not for those who think that they can wrest the miracle of representative democracy from the people of this nation. Go ahead: read Machiavelli. Study all the greatest bosses, kaisers, caesers, emperors, and consolidators of power. Do your best. One problem: power resides in the people. If you try to gather it all unto yourself, it’s going to spill back out.

[Why does one get the feeling that not only has DUmmie bleever NOT read Machiavelli but almost no history whatever?]

The months since the election have been abundant with fruit for everyone who, seeing the election stolen, breathed deep, got mad, and knew that justice would eventually prevail.

[Maybe Mighty Mouse will show up. HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAY!!!]

I Believe.

[I Believe that John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. Ooops! That didn’t work out. Now I Believe in just that the bad guys are gonna have, like, bad stuff happen to them and, like, things are gonna be good for the good guys, you know?]

This is a sight for sore eyes. I Believe, bleev. Never Give Up.

[This certainly is a sight for sore eyes. The “I Believe” comedy routine has been RESURRECTED!]

I believe in the eventual triumph of love, light and goodness!

[…and goody gumdrops!]

I believe...in the accuracy of the 2004 state and national exit polls over the "official results" of the unrecountable black boxes and the Karl Rove exit polls.

[I believe that exit polls results should determine the winners rather than just mere actual voting results.]

I believe that if there is anything worth fighting for in this time in which we live, it is GETTING OUR DEMOCRACY BACK. There are a hundred ways to do it, or more, and Election Reform is one of the most important.

[I believe we need to make exit polls the OFFICIAL results for the elections and eliminate actual voting altogether.]

I believe! I do! I do! I do!

[Close your eyes tight, Dorothy, lean back, click your heels together, and repeat after me three times: “There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!”]

I believe that humans can transcend the artificial limits set by fear. I believe, I believe, I believe!

[I believe that humans can enter a space/time continuum wormhole and rematerialize in another galaxy. I believe, I believe, I believe!]

I believe truth will triumph.

[I believe truth will triumph and Andy Stephenson will be indicted for fraud.]

I believe flying monkeys really hate it when they see us believin' So, guess what, monkeys? I BELIEVE! Why does it scare them so much, I wonder, that we believe? Why are the sore winners so afraid?

[I believe you’ve been spanking your flying monkey so much that you actually believe you are making folks scared of you.]

We believe that the Constitution was put in place for a reason. We believe that every citizen's right to vote is sacred and must be protected. We believe that no person is above the law, no matter how charismatic (or not) they may appear. We believe that treason is treason, no matter what political party is in power. We believe that we have been called to protect the freedoms that we have come to enjoy. We will not fail in this noble calling. We will Never Give Up. I Believe

[We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.]

I Believe. I still believe all of it.

[Any BS you feed me---I still believe all of it.]

I believe too. You are right bleever, they underestimated us. A dangerous error on their part. I believe the time of reckoning is at hand. The truth will always find it's way out of the darkness and into the light. Never Giving Up.

[The EVIL Republicans fatal error---underestimating DUmmie Denese. The time of (play a foreboding tune) RECKONING is at hand!]

I believe KERRYS BACK ! GO GET THEM JOHN!

[I believe John Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20. YEEEEHAW!]

I believe that the perfect storm might be brewing, and Monday could be a very interesting day!

[A Perfect Rovian Storm. NEWSFLASH! Monday already came and went and John Kerry was MIA…as usual.]

Everything in Life is timing. He's an "old" enough Soul to patiently await the right time...NOW.

[Maybe I underestimated Kerry. Is he going to wait to be inaugurated on Jan. 21?]

There be hope, Mates, I Believe we are not so all alone. And I do Believe this thread has picked me up!

[When nothing else is working for you, perhaps an utterly meaningless DUmmie thread will do the trick.]

I believe in the strength , will and ability of this community to succeed in whatever we take on together.

[Well, DUmmie sfexpat2000, you successfully conned the gullible DUmmies to the tune of $50,000 for Scamdy and I BEEEELEEEEVE you could do it again.]

I believe that it's actually getting easier to believe that justice for the theft of the 2004 election will surely come. At first, it was a matter of faith for many of us. Faith generated action and conversation. Action and conversation, through persistance, generated more action and conversation. And to an anti-democratic cabal that seeks to control the system, and thwart anything resembling checks and balances (the root of the genius of our founders), action and conversation are poison. They count on us shutting up, moving on, and not making waves.

[And faith generated action and conversation. Then it generated more action and conversation followed by meaningless blah-blah which generated persistent fatigue followed by deep sleep. When I wake up I BEEELEEEVE John Kerry will be President!]

The "I Believe" archives. Five earlier threads, starting with Doohickie's first one, started just a few days after the stolen election. These five "I Believe" threads had a total of 1985 responses. And with the latest thread, we've passed the 2000 mark. It makes me very proud to be a part of this, and to know you all.

[It makes me VERY PROUD, DUmmie bleever, to know you are continuing these utterly meaningless “I Believe” threads. Let’s get together again at your “I Believe XXVI” thread in January 2009.]

Of course, I BELIEVE. I believe in righteousness and justice. Sooner or later, these will catch up to the shrub. I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.

[I am Doohickie, making a cameo appearance, and I approve the unclear message of this latest completely meaningless “I Believe” thread which I started last year.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 161-172 next last
To: speed_addiction

"I just saw Hillary lose the 2008 election in a landslide, ask me anything."


41 posted on 06/07/2005 6:57:55 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
We believe that every citizen's right to vote is sacred

Unedited version:

We believe that every Democrats right to cast multiple straight party votes is sacred

42 posted on 06/07/2005 7:01:34 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I BELIEVE...It's time the DUmpster turned into the CEmetery

43 posted on 06/07/2005 7:08:47 AM PDT by Allosaurs_r_us (for a fee........I'm happy to be........Your BACKDOOR MAN!....Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix; MisterRepublican; franksolich
the theft of the election of 2004 continues to grow more evident and obvious. . . . everyone who, seeing the election stolen, breathed deep, got mad, and knew that justice would eventually prevail. . . . I believe...in the accuracy of the 2004 state and national exit polls over the "official results" of the unrecountable black boxes and the Karl Rove exit polls. . . . justice for the theft of the 2004 election will surely come.

You see, DUmmies, it's comments like these that have helped fuel our pursuit of the "Andy Stephenson Situation" (ASS). The reason is, these comments show your utter hypocrisy. You "BEEELEEEVE" in the theft of the 2004 election because of what you perceive to be a lack of verifiability--and Andy was your golden boy leading the charge on this. Now, when Andy has a massive fundraising drive for himself--with no accountability and with no proof of need--and now we call for some verifiability from the King (or Queen?) of Verifiability . . . well, the irony is rich indeed.

"Politicize my plight!!!"
--Andy Stephenson

44 posted on 06/07/2005 7:11:26 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson ("Politicize my plight!!!" --Andy Stephenson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson

This thread makes me envision DUmmies huddled by the firelight of a tiny mountain cave in the Southwest listening to the chant of a Hopi Indian prayer and waiting for the magic entrails to tell them the time is right to take over America again.


45 posted on 06/07/2005 7:12:43 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
There be hope, Mates

I believe there be pirates at DU.

46 posted on 06/07/2005 7:13:08 AM PDT by socal_parrot
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: socal_parrot

Avast ye scabbies. Argh.


47 posted on 06/07/2005 7:20:55 AM PDT by ariamne (reformed liberal--Shieldmaiden of the Infidel)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
BTW... it appears that scamdy.com is back up, after some DUmmies tried to get the hosting site to take it down yesterday.
48 posted on 06/07/2005 7:21:32 AM PDT by kevkrom (Jack Bauer / Chloe O'Brien '08)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I believe flying monkeys really hate it when they see us believin' So, guess what, monkeys? I BELIEVE! Why does it scare them so much, I wonder, that we believe? Why are the sore winners so afraid?
[I believe you’ve been spanking your flying monkey so much that you actually believe you are making folks scared of you.]

After I get the Coke* out of my sinuses, you are going to pay for this.

*This shows the importance of proper capitalization.

49 posted on 06/07/2005 7:26:35 AM PDT by steve-b (A desire not to butt into other people's business is eighty percent of all human wisdom)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix; speed_addiction

50 posted on 06/07/2005 7:28:23 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson ("Politicize my plight!!!" --Andy Stephenson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I Believe ...
I Believe
I BELIEVE
I BELIEVE !!!!!

Worked for the Boston Red Sox and may yet work for the Chicago Cubs. When it comes to politics, I believe all right --- I believe the dems lost again.

51 posted on 06/07/2005 7:30:25 AM PDT by PetroniDE (We Don't Live in Texas Anymore --- State Name is Now TAXES !!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PetroniDE

Now I know what happened to the "kids" at the Billy Jack School. They all became DUmmies.


52 posted on 06/07/2005 7:34:38 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Will Pitt is begging for attention...LOL

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3402750&mesg_id=3402750


53 posted on 06/07/2005 7:44:40 AM PDT by Krodg
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
drink the kool-aid.
DRINK THE KOOL-AID.
DRINK THE KOOL-AID.
DRINK THE KOOL-AID.
DRINK THE KOOL-AID. EVERY DROP.
Sounds like a good chant at a sports event, doesn't it??
54 posted on 06/07/2005 7:48:27 AM PDT by PetroniDE (We Don't Live in Texas Anymore --- State Name is Now TAXES !!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
First, that the theft of the election of 2004 continues to grow more evident and obvious

Yeah, I hear people talking about it everywhere I go. You just can't shut it up. People standing in the aisles at WalMart, at the grocery stores, in the library... everywhere I go I feel the fury growing as people realize that the election was stolen.

Not.

55 posted on 06/07/2005 8:03:09 AM PDT by Proud 2BeTexan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
I believe! I do! I do! I do!

I believe, I do, I do, I do that some pimply faced high school kid sat up half the night in his or her bedroom composing this sophomoric masterpiece of self delusion. I hope he or she didn't turn it in as a composition for credit, I would hate to see him or her have to repeat the 11th grade.

We believe that we have been called to protect the freedoms that we have come to enjoy. We will not fail in this noble calling.

I believe your noble calling will not fail to provide an endless source of hilarity for PJ to record for posterity in his forthcoming DUFU best selling book with accompanying CD. Posterity will no doubt enjoy some belly laughs at the expense of gullible raving lunatics as much as we do.

56 posted on 06/07/2005 8:32:35 AM PDT by epow ("Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men pass for wise.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
First, that the theft of the election of 2004 continues to grow more evident and obvious, and that the grand forces of history are joined with the energy of a great many passionate Americans who won’t rest under the rotten mantle that has settled upon us.

Well bleever, know that we Freepers stand with you in opposition to the blatant cheating by Gregoire in Washington State, and will work with you to...what? He's talking about the Presidential election? Whoa, what a space cadet.

the anti-democratic forces

in the Senate Dem caucus...

intimidate the press out of being the watchdogs they have historically been,

[SNICKER!] Yeah, that media is pro-Dubya 24/7!

who brought us to war on the basis of lies

In all seriousness, at this point, maintaining that we went to war in Iraq because of Presidential deception (or for oil, etc.) is so bigoted and intellectually bankrupt...he might as well say, "Because Dubya insists on teaching Round Earth Theory in our schools, the people will rise up...

They have underestimated the decency of Americans.

As exhibited on DU--the home of jokes about breast cancer victims and Terri Schiavo and sick hate-speech directed at every Christian to the right of Gene Robinson--every day.

You can’t really blame them; they themselves don’t possess that decency.

Yes, good Lord, standing for human life, the democratic process and Constitutional government...how depraved we are.

The decency to say that any system that allows innocent people to be tortured to death, because of our suffering and fear, is not what we stand for.

Did a Freeper Troll write this? because last time I checked, DUers were rabidly opposed to liberating a country where they torture people to death, and rabidly in favor of a medical procedure that involves ripping a small child's limbs off.

The decency to see the wisdom of the way the U.S. Constitution apportions the power to send American men and women onto the battlefield of war.

Another Freeper writing? After all, the last time I checked, the Congress had signed on for the liberation three times: The Iraq Liberation Act of '98, the September 14 resolution, and the final specific authorization in late '02. And who does the Constitution give the power to send troops into war to? Why, the U.S. Congress!

Do your best. One problem: power resides in the people.

Which is why almost everything libs believe has to be rammed through the courts. Well heck, I guess I'm just too much of a hick to understand such glorious expressions of democracy.

I believe in the eventual triumph of love, light and goodness!

Me too. See Revelation 22. Oh, but be ready for some depressing judgmentalism form the Author of the entire Universe.

I believe...in the accuracy of the 2004 state and national exit polls over the "official results" of the unrecountable black boxes and the Karl Rove exit polls.

I believe the exit polls have been so thoroughly debunked that you might as well have written, "I believe Apollo rides his chariot across the sky daily." Note also the (I'm pretty sure) fictional "Karl Rove exit polls." It wasn't Karl Rove showing up with new polls, kids, it was the media realizing the first set was a nightmare no college student would have constructed, and also realizing that 3,500,000 votes is not a slim margin. So even if Darth Rove had polls, it didn't turn anything around.

It's also pretty fun to watch these guys spin the black box tales. We know how Lyndon Johnson won a Senate race with manufactured votes, we know what particular precincts were screwed up by Mayor Daley for John Kennedy, and we know exactly how many felons and dead folk voted in Washington State last year, but if Rove and company stole 5 million votes or so, why that would be impossible to detect. Duhhhhhhh...

I believe that humans can transcend the artificial limits set by fear.

And vote GOP.

I believe truth will triumph.

It already has, on Election Day. Or, for Cosmic Truth, see Revelation 22.

I believe flying monkeys really hate it when they see us believin'

Um...when you do this crap and we fall on the floor laughing at you...that's not a sign of hate, it's a sign of amusement.

So, guess what, monkeys? I BELIEVE! Why does it scare them so much, I wonder, that we believe?

On second thought...yes, it scares us, I'm terrified every time you even imagine the fall of the BFEE...please, whatever you do, DO NOT devote all your energy to promoting these conspiracy theories, because we all know how the swing voters love extremism...please, Br'er DUmmie, don't throw me in the conspiracy patch!

We believe that the Constitution was put in place for a reason.

He forgot to add, "And that reason is to give us food stampsand abortion on demand."

We believe that every citizen's right to vote is sacred and must be protected.

Hence the manufactured votes in the Florida debacle, the tire slashings and fictional voters in Milwaukee, the long lines in Dem precincts because Dem officials couldn't be bothered to make sure Black people got to vote, the felons voting in Washington State, the dead people voting in Washington State...

We believe that treason is treason, no matter what political party is in power.

Liars. Your behavior in the last election proves that you'd campaign for Benedict Arnold if he were a pro-abort Democrat. After all, he was a real war hero, and how dare anybody question his patriotism?

We believe that we have been called to protect the freedoms that we have come to enjoy.

Like food stamps and the freedom to have small children ripped limb from limb on a whim.

I Believe. I still believe all of it.

"Facts don't bother me!"

You are right bleever, they underestimated us.

Yeah, you've got judges and you're not afraid to use them!

The truth will always find it's way out of the darkness and into the light.

Yes it will, that's why you're LOSING!!!

Everything in Life is timing. He's an "old" enough Soul to patiently await the right time...

Right, just like he waited until he was out of range of his Navy comrades before he started calling them baby-killing atrocity machines.

There be hope, Mates, I Believe we are not so all alone.

Ride, Captain ride, aboard your Mystery Ship...

I believe in the strength , will and ability of this community to succeed in whatever we take on together.

Yeah, like getting John Kerry elected.

I believe that it's actually getting easier to believe that justice for the theft of the 2004 election will surely come.

Because if facts don't matter to you when you first hear them, they sure ain't gonna bother you 8 months later.

At first, it was a matter of faith for many of us.

Like the faith you have that every morning, Apollo will cross the sky in his sun chariot...

And to an anti-democratic cabal that seeks to control the system, and thwart anything resembling checks and balances (the root of the genius of our founders), action and conversation are poison.

These people act like the lack of a filibuster is equal to the lack of a Senate. What a bunch of maroons.

They count on us shutting up, moving on, and not making waves.

Quite the contrary: I've got "Read the DUFUs" on my calendar every day for the foreseeable future!

Of course, I BELIEVE. I believe in righteousness and justice.

And abortion. And Massachusetts-style fisting education. And confiscatory taxes. And knuckling under to tinpot dictators. I BELIEVE!

57 posted on 06/07/2005 8:41:22 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback ("Eureka! I just found the gene that causes people to believe in genetic determinism!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
You are right bleever, they underestimated us. A dangerous error on their part. I believe the time of reckoning is at hand.

This guy sounds like a third-rate supervillain, like the "Monarch" from "Venture Brothers."

"Soon he will feel the wrath of the Monarch!"

58 posted on 06/07/2005 8:46:40 AM PDT by Future Snake Eater (The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix; Ditter
Of course, Kerry bugged out after making himself a laughingstock over this.

John Conyers called for tips from whistleblowers and set up a special tip form on the Dem part of the House Judicial Committee website. So i did him the kindness of sending him a major conspiracy document: The Iraq Liberation Act of 1998, passed overwhelmingly in the House and signed into law by bill Clinton. that should help Conyers and Kerry get to the bottom of this "rush to war" business...

59 posted on 06/07/2005 8:53:53 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback ("Eureka! I just found the gene that causes people to believe in genetic determinism!")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: Charles Henrickson
You're making a good case for the overthrow of Saddam and Uday and Qusay and the boys.

Ironic isn't it? The DUmmy's emotionally driven thought processes, that is if any thought is actually involved, are exactly 180 degrees out of phase with reality.

60 posted on 06/07/2005 8:59:26 AM PDT by epow ("Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men pass for wise.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 161-172 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson