I don't remember Candy Land too well but I do remember Shoots and Ladders which is actually a much older game called Snakes and Ladders, according to Lair of the White Worm.
Anyway, I see on shoot, maybe if you land on a square titled Pancreatic Cancer and you don't have a proper connection from the person Frank calls the Dowager, down the shoot you go!
LOL!
Get outed as a Freeeper, Down the shoot!
I'm trying to think of what the goal of the game should be now. Something nearly impossible.
Are the players undercover freepers? Are they actual DUmmies, trying to elect Kucinich?