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DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Hasn't Slept Since April!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2005 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/13/2005 7:36:25 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:

I could use a little help here

[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]

I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.

[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]

So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.

[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]

But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.

[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]

Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.

[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]

scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9

[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]

Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.

[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]

sex?

[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]

Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.

[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]

yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."

[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]

Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.

[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.

[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]

Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).

[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]

Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.

[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]

My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.

[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]

Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub

[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]

Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.

[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]

empty your mind, grasshopper...

[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]

I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.

[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]

stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.

[speed_addiction…is that you?]

The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.

[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]

Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.

[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]

Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.

[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]

Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.

[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]

A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.

[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]

One word solution... PAMPER!

[One word solution… PAMPERS!]

White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).

[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]

Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham

[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]

Watch some mindless TV.

[Keith Olbermann.]

Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?

[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]

dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.

[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]

First of all, sleep is over-rated.

[Sleep? Who needs it!]

You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.

[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]

Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.

[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]

Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.

[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]

want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end

[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]

You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…

[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]

Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.

[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; andystephenson; cashfortuck; dramaqueen; dummiefunnies; dummies; scams; skinner; williampitt
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To: franksolich

Hey Frank, I'm overwhelmed by all the info and super busy this weekend -- would you add me to your "alert" ping list?

Also, could you ping me if/when someone contacts the Credit Union?

thx.

BTW - Has anyone contacted law enforcement?


981 posted on 05/15/2005 6:32:51 AM PDT by halieus (FR cracks UNDIEGATE!)
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To: halieus

"BTW - Has anyone contacted law enforcement?"

The only threats of Law Enforcement being called have been by the DUmp against all of us who've cracked this scam.


982 posted on 05/15/2005 6:35:11 AM PDT by txradioguy (In Memory Of My Friend 1SG Tim Millsap A Co. 70th Eng Bn ...K.I.A. 25 April 2005)
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To: txradioguy

tx...you'd know the answer to this better than I would, but isn't the FBI now involved? I recall reading something to that effect over at CU.


983 posted on 05/15/2005 6:36:33 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: Amityschild; lutz
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
984 posted on 05/15/2005 6:36:50 AM PDT by KJC1 (Somebody shook up the Ants!)
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To: stands2reason; commonguymd; eyespysomething; Repub4bush; volvox; mozrock; ShorelineMike; ...
DUMMIE ALERT!


DUMMIE ALERT!


ANDY'S ACCOMPLICE IN CRIMINALITY, THE INFATUATED DUMMIE "sfexpat2000" SPEAKS!


RECOVERING FROM BEING SLIMED, AND TRYING TO THINK!


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


All these, taken from a DUmmie thread, "The real scandal about Andy":

sfexpat2000 (1000+ posts) Sat May-14-05 11:39 AM Response to Reply #27 57. Funny thing, the Hopkins Charter specifically says it is endowed as a facility for the poor people of the State who cannot afford to get treatment. It's an interesting document. And the same Duer who found the missing check on the mail room sup's desk found it for me so I could see it for myself.

Legally, you are entitled to treatment there because you are a resident, not because you are a grad student. And according to the Charter, you should be getting in line behind homeless people.

But you'd never know it to talk to the admin.

sfexpat2000 1000+ posts) Fri May-13-05 02:51 PM Response to Original message 25. As one JH employee said to me, this is a human freeway. There are people beating down their doors 24/7. The JH charter requires them to take care of Maryland citizens first.

But, I agree with you that this dysfunctional health care system (bad as it is and still under attack by the Cabal, has to be the number 1 priority for a focused group of activists. It will be a long slog but it is an urgent one to take up.

sfexpat2000 (1000+ posts) Sat May-14-05 11:48 AM Response to Reply #51 58. Problem is, even after Andy came up with the money they wanted to turn him away because he had no insurance. And, they nearly did until they got a little public focus and some calls from journalists following this story.

Laura is right. We need to do something about this health care system immediately. Look at the screen names on this thread. Every sixth one doesn't have health insurance -- if you believe the underreported numbers on uninsured Americans. And even with insurance, many people can't afford to get the care they need.

sfexpat2000 (1000+ posts) Sat May-14-05 11:52 AM Response to Reply #52 59. L.A County has the biggest psych clinic in the world.

My husband went there for 18 months and didn't get one minute of appropriate treatment. Same with every other public facility we tried. I had to beg and borrow money in order for him to see a real doctor and get stablized. It cost us both years of our lives.

sfexpat2000 (1000+ posts) Sun May-15-05 07:15 AM Response to Original message 64. I'm recovering from being slimed and trying to think through what Edited on Sun May-15-05 07:42 AM by sfexpat2000 just happened. And, it's sort of even worse than that, HamdenRice.

We got the cash deposit there, and JH was too busy to find it on their own Mail Room Supervisor's desk. And so, canceled the surgery. (It has been rescheduled for later this month but still, that's just unconscionable.)

I don't want to trash them or anything. I did my best to get Andy treatment there because their results are so much better than anywhere else. But, it was all about the money, no matter what face anyone tries to put on it.

I hope, hope, hope, that this doesn't get lost: We came together for a just cause and we were unstoppable. Despite the corporate mindset, despite the trolls and stupidity, we got it done.

Does anyone have an idea of how hard it is to get someone into JH AND to raise that kind of money that fast?(There are notebooks with tallies ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM. It looks like I had the world's biggest poker game here.)

Please notice that for ten solid days, DUers threw all their resources together and presented a united front to a -- uhm -- challenging world. And we were so successful, that the opposition was compelled to try to poison it. PLEASE NOTICE HOW WELL WE WORKED TOGETHER.

We have a lot of power collectively, if we don't allow ourselves to be frightened by that fact. If we take the risk, lookit what we can do. God or something help Big Pharma and the rest of the corporatists should we ever decide to take them on.

Well done, DUers. And, thank you.

Beth/typin'

[Fred: italics mine, not hers.]

985 posted on 05/15/2005 6:37:27 AM PDT by franksolich (fighting crime and corruption 24/7/365)
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To: KJC1

Thank you ma'am! Someday I'm gonna spend the time to sort out HTML!

/Scarlett OFF


986 posted on 05/15/2005 6:40:22 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: Amityschild

There's one of the DUmmies taht's claiming that he/she has supposedly turned over copies of the threads concerning the AndyScam along with names of posters at CU to the FBI.

Claiming we've violated some sort of cyber laws.


987 posted on 05/15/2005 6:41:26 AM PDT by txradioguy (In Memory Of My Friend 1SG Tim Millsap A Co. 70th Eng Bn ...K.I.A. 25 April 2005)
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To: halieus; KJC1
Oh, I'm quite positive the law has been contacted and it's only a matter of time now.

Prepare for the fallout at the DUmp! I think there will definitely be a worthy thread for the AndyScam's Conclusion Chapter for PJ to DUFU as well!

Can't post much today, I'm at work, so KJC1, keep the time-line updated if you can, and everyone else, feel free to help out if you feel inclined!

988 posted on 05/15/2005 6:43:54 AM PDT by lutz (The AndyScam Saga Continues!!)
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To: Amityschild; txradioguy
tx...you'd know the answer to this better than I would, but isn't the FBI now involved?

They should be -- this is no $20 scam (although it's one of the most entertaining and poorly executed I've ever heard of -- a true candidate for the Darwin Prison Awards).

Please ping me when Undie gets his mug shot!
989 posted on 05/15/2005 6:44:59 AM PDT by halieus (FR cracks UNDIEGATE!)
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To: flitton
flitton, please feel free to add/update the time-line! I'm at work today so I won't be able to post much.
990 posted on 05/15/2005 6:45:32 AM PDT by lutz (The AndyScam Saga Continues!!)
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To: lutz

I was planning to go to work today, however, I am now furiously justifying reasons to not go in!


991 posted on 05/15/2005 6:45:37 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: Amityschild

I didn't know squat about capturing screen shots and how to upload them on a hosting site until franksolich, lutz, Purrcival, and others patiently walked me through it the other day.

Now, I am unstoppable...!!!

To capture the screen shot, hold down "shift" and "prt scr" (located on the top right corner of keyboard). Then paste it into Paint or similar program. Once you get to that point, one or more of us can help you crop it and host it somewhere.


992 posted on 05/15/2005 6:46:57 AM PDT by KJC1 (Somebody shook up the Ants!)
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To: KJC1

*As she builds up to that magic number*

I think the thing I lack expertise in is the hosting step. That's where you store photos as well, yes?


993 posted on 05/15/2005 6:48:22 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: KJC1

*As she builds up to that magic number*

I think the thing I lack expertise in is the hosting step. That's where you store photos as well, yes?


994 posted on 05/15/2005 6:48:51 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: Amityschild

OOPS!


995 posted on 05/15/2005 6:49:29 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: Amityschild

I'm signed up at photobucket.com

It's free, and once you sign up for an account we can walk you through it.


996 posted on 05/15/2005 6:50:02 AM PDT by KJC1 (Somebody shook up the Ants!)
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To: All
If this fund-raiser is on the up and up, I wonder why they didn't present it locally, in Seattle. Why can't I find any local coverage of this tragic case, if it was presented to the local media?

I have searched (using the name Andy Stephenson) the websites for the media in Seattle and some surrounding areas which include:

The Seattle Times
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer
The King County Journal
The Tacoma News-Tribune
The Seattle Press
The Seattle Stranger
The Washington Free Press
The Seattle Weekly
The Daily of the University of Washington-Seattle
The Seattle Pacific University Falcon
KIRO 7 TV
KOMO 4 TV
KING 5 TV

And not one mention of Andy's sad story and the fund-raising effort launched to help him.

Why didn't Andy&Friends appeal to the local community? And if they did, why did no one (that I can find in this limited search on the internet) in the local media respond to their appeal?

I have seen many appeals and fund-raising events held for sick people in my community, and usually somebody gets the media involved. Certainly the "activists" involved in this saga have access to the local media. They did when Andy was running for Washington Secretary of State and when he and Bev Harris launched the whole "Black Box Voting" "election fraud investigation".

I am not saying that such appeals haven't been made in the Seattle area. I am saying that I cannot find any reference to them on the internet.
997 posted on 05/15/2005 6:51:15 AM PDT by MisterRepublican
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To: KJC1

Thanks! I'll do that. I've really wanted to post pictures of my bengal cat. She's gorgeous.


998 posted on 05/15/2005 6:52:40 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: Amityschild

And my dachsies...and...


999 posted on 05/15/2005 6:53:11 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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To: Amityschild

ONE THOUSAND!


1,000 posted on 05/15/2005 6:53:29 AM PDT by Amityschild (DUmmie is as DUmmie does)
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