Posted on 05/13/2005 7:36:25 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:
I could use a little help here
[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]
I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.
[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]
So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.
[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]
But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.
[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]
Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.
[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]
scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9
[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]
Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.
[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]
sex?
[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]
Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.
[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]
yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."
[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]
Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.
[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]
This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.
[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]
Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).
[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]
Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.
[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]
My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.
[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]
Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub
[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]
Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.
[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]
empty your mind, grasshopper...
[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]
I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.
[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]
stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.
[speed_addiction…is that you?]
The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.
[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]
Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.
[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]
Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.
[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]
Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.
[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]
A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.
[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]
One word solution... PAMPER!
[One word solution… PAMPERS!]
White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).
[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]
Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham
[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]
Watch some mindless TV.
[Keith Olbermann.]
Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?
[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]
dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.
[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]
First of all, sleep is over-rated.
[Sleep? Who needs it!]
You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.
[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]
Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.
[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]
Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.
[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]
want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end
[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]
You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…
[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]
Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.
[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]
Well, yes, that is possible, the Grand DUmmie "Skinner" losing massive funds--but those would be for reasons other than the felonious Andy.
P.J., isn't Mr. Silverback or Doug from Upland a sort of consultant?
Couldn't one of them offer their services to the Grand DUmmie "Skinner," on how to run a web-site decently, civilly, and profitably?
The Grand DUmmie "Skinner" surely needs such assistance (but would have to pay for it, of course).
For years and years and years, here in Nebraska, we had but one "political consultant"--a long-haired ageing hippie active in anti-war and leftist causes.
But as he was the only one in this neck of the woods--er, stretch of the prairies--Republican and conservative candidates used him.....and won, constantly.
So perhaps the Grand DUmmie "Skinner" might wish to have a "sales-call" made by Mr. Silverback or Doug from Upland?
I dunno -- Andy not only survived the collapse of Bev Harris' scam, he remained in the good graces of the DUmmies to the point where he could perpetrate a flim-flam scheme of his very own. Maybe this is Pied Piper Pitt's future as well....
Dinger (1000+ posts) Mon May-16-05
08:08 AM
Original message
This Newsweek Thing In Bulls***
Good Morning Amerika leads with the story, and footage of angry Iraqis, as if all the violence there is Newsweek's fault, not Gonzales' or bu$h, or Rummy, or Wolfie, blah, blah, blah. Washington Journal leads with that for call-ins, and I noticed they let 3 repugs in a row, and then 2 in a row - no such "error" for ems, oh no. I think this is almost an exact duplicate of the CBS/Dan Rather assassination. It's obvious, and has rOVER's MO ALL OVER IT!
PJ, even when AndyScam is over, you will never run out of material for your DUmmie FUnnies.
PJ, I'm a contributing member over at DU and yesterday I used their (for paying customers only) search function for about an hour trying to find any post by Andy where he says he has cancer. I couldn't find one. He mentions a tumor and that he had a biopsy in March. That would have been the logical time to say what the results were regarding the tumor. He never says what the result of the biopsy was, malignant or benign.
He might want to lie low. Once AndyScam becomes so obvious that even the dopey DUmmies figure out that they have been fleeced, they'll be looking for a scapegoat....
(Well, I suppose it's theoretically possible that they'll accept the fact that their own stupidity and gullibility are to blame, but I wouldn't bet on it.)
Step lightly here DUmmie...just a friendly piece of advice.
Uh, NEPA is, in the words of "Miss Waverly," "legit."
Been around a long time.
I'm running about three hours late today to take my mother for outpatient treatment so it gave me a chance to catch up from yesterday.
I'll also be quiting early to pick her up so hopefully it won't take too long to catch up later. I've been reading every post of these monster threads even if it takes hours!
That's fine. I'm just smelling a smokescreen here in defense of AndyScam in the same way that it was done at CU.
"principal" was using the same line of BS as a defense over there.
Keep reading, sir.
And my best wishes for your mother; hope it goes okay.
It's fine to be skeptical--and I surely hope everyone here is as skeptical as I am--but NEPA has been here since God was a boy, and no DUmmie can last that long.
The deal is, some members of Free Republic are "paying members" of DUmmieland--$20 or something, per year--because it gives them, undercover, more credibility and more access to places in DUmmieland (the "search" function here, for example, is free, while one must be a paying member of DUmmieland to use the "search" function there).
But keep your skepticism, because all of us are human, and not infallible in perception.
BINGO!!! And have you also noticed that Andy NEVER corrects Pied Piper Pitt or his other shills when they claim that Andy has pancreatic cancer? And this is the guy you vouch for, Pitt? Someone who leaves YOU holding the bag?
Well, seeing as it's only almost 8:00 a.m. here in Nebraska, and even earlier than that in other parts of the country, it may be a while.
It's Monday morning; things and people tend to drag.
I'm sure we'll hear something later in the day.
Well, dang it, I have to get cleaned up (shave, &c.) and then head to town for a few minutes to get a package of cigarettes.
I should however be back shortly.
Nothing going on in DUmmieland at the moment.
"White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing)."
I can't believe that leftists would advocate "white noise" over "historically disenfranchised and oppressed noise of color."
I get up so early for work that I forget everyone else doesn't, too.
Please do me a favor and ping me if/when someone calls, would ya? These threads are too huge to wade through.
Thanks Fred. Happy hunting!
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