Amen, amen to that!
Her smile is etched in my mind forever. Everywhere I go I will forever carry her innocent smile in my heart and mind.
Terri Schiavo Before dehydration
Posted on 03/31/2005 11:33:08 AM PST by Just Kimberly
With all of the media venues finally calling attention to Terri Schindler Schiavo and her fight to stay alive - I could not help but reflect on all of the articles, affadavits, and medical reports I have read. It is very important to review everything in sequence and cumulatively, so that a proper picture can be painted. Something, by the way, the Honorable Judge Greer has refused to do - you would think after all these years, he would at least need to refresh his memory before condeming a woman to death.
But...Nonetheless...
My reflections have led me to a close kinship with Terri - both of us married in 1984 ( also the same year I graduated from High School), and both of us have had our share of marital problems. Her's, obviously, more violent than mine, as I am still able to eat and live.
I am also wondering, with great sadness, how many other women are experiencing abuse as I type - oblivious to the rest of the world, still functioning everyday, going to work, taking care of their chilfren - but enduring the pain of a man wreaking havoc in their lives.
I know you've seen them. You thought about the possibilities...the clerk at the store who NEVER smiles, the lady who USED to be at Church but had to stop coming because of the pain. Think about how many times some woman has been rude to you in public, shot you a hateful look, or just looked as though there was no one inside her.
If you have ever seen 'Under the Tuscan Sun',(one of my favorite movies)you may recall the 'empty shell person standing at the crossroads' speech. Francis is fresh out of a bad divorce, and her closest friend tells her she is in danger of never recovering if she doesn't get on with her life. 'There comes a point in a person's life when you are standing at a crossroad. You have to decide whether to turn left or right'...and some stay stagnate. They choose not to choose. And they stay in the same abuse day after day - never healing, never moving forward - only exisiting.
Some of us do it quite well. We learn how to put on the 'mommy-face', and go on with our day-to-days, simply moving through life doing what we have to do. It's not that the abuse is enjoyed (as some horrible people wouls suggest) - or even tolerated - but one can become so convinced of no self-worth, there seems to be no point to climb out. Or perhaps one stays for the children. This is my favorite - because it has been argued that the children 'know'. No, they don't always. Especially if you are good at it. Children percieve what YOU want them to. If you openly fight and reflect your inner sorrow around them - yes, they will pick up on it. If you keep it quiet, and by the Grace of God, are able to smile and still be what is left of 'YOU' around TEM - they will not know. It is that simple.
In thinking about Terri, we know she was on the verge of getting divorced. Something in itself, I am sure, was quite painful for her, being the product of a strong Catholic home. It had to be tough. And, more so, knowing that her relationship had landed her in the middle of an eating disorder. Many women who are abused in ANY way will turn their anger inward on themselves. In Terri's case, given that Michael was known to have had a girlfriend very shortly after Terri's collapse, it is quite possible that adultery was the cause of her pain. Or possibly pornography. Nothing zaps the spirit of a woman faster than learning her man is on the 'porn road'. As for Terri - she struggled to make herself more desirable to him, and in the end - obviously did not succeed. Even being so close to death, this abuser could not stop himself.
And now, as we all know - she is paying the ULTIMATE price. Being sentebced to death by someone who abused her, through the venue of a Judge who refuses to take time to reflect.
How is it, that if I can see this and piece this together after only READING, and NOT being close to her - the only thing she had to protect her - cannot?
This is something to ponder - as society often is angry with women who stay in a relationship - rather than leaving. Sometimes it is not because 'Hope Springs Eternal', or 'he has promised to never to do it again', or even that 'I know he loves me'.
Somitmes it is through 'trying to make a turn at the crossroads', we are struck down, and put in ouir place for the final time. Sometimes it is not the 'wanting to stay', as much as it is 'not knowing how to go'.
Terri's life should stand as a reminder to all - the pain an abused woman goes through - rather it be mental or physical - usually both - is often ignored by those who should stand to protect us. Think about ALL the women who have lost thier lives 'trying to leave'.
This time - the system has truly let us down, as Terri is living proof - THE SYSTEM DOES NOT WORK.
Terri - you will never be forgotten. You did not suffer in vain - The winds of change are blowing....JK
Terri is us.
No longer will I trust the politicians, judiciary and law enforcement. They have lost me for good and I will never forget what they did to an innocent woman. This was legalized, premeditated, state-sanctioned murder.
And I won't forget come election time.
Power needs to be handed or taken back by the legislative branch where it belongs.
Amen, amen to that!
Her smile is etched in my mind forever. Everywhere I go I will forever carry her innocent smile in my heart and mind.
Terri Schiavo Before dehydration
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