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DUmmie FUnnies 02-25-05 ("BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 25, 2005 | Pied Piper Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 02/25/2005 5:50:31 AM PST by PJ-Comix

William Rivers Pitt has pulled out his magic flute and is fooling the DUmmies once again with his election fraud tune. If this sounds like Déjà vu all over again, it is because Pied Piper Pitt has played this same tune many times before in order to puff himself up with his manufactured self-importance with yet another election “scoop” that means less than nothing. The only thing that makes this latest self-puffery slightly more amusing than the rest is that it is being played by Pied Piper Pitt over a month AFTER the inauguration. You can hear Pied Piper’s Pitt’s latest tune being played for your amusement on this DUmmie THREAD breathlessly titled, “BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!” So what’s all the hoopla really about? YAWN! Nothing more than some obscure legal motion where a couple of the minor league candidates filed a statement on something called a legal transfer and, OH YEAH, Kerry-Edwards (actually their lawyers) filed a document in support of that statement. If you want to pop some No-Doze and read it for yourself you can find it on Pied Piper Pitt’s appropriately named (because all the Truth is Outta there) TRUTHOUT website. As usual the DUmmie rantings and Pied Piper Pitt’s flutings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, struggling to stay awake after being tranquilized by the obscure meaningless legal motions, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions. The documents have been posted.

[YAWN! Been there. Done that. The only thing even slightly amusing about your recycled act this time, Pied Piper Pitt, is the timing since this “revelation” comes over a month AFTER inauguration.]

Great news. Thanks. I'm going to check it out.

[And don’t forget to take a strong dose of No-Doze. This latest “revelation” by Pied Piper Pitt is like that famous description of Oakland---There’s no there there.]

Hmmm..what do you make of this Will? Seems too little too late, yet why would Kerry have not been pushing harder earlier?

[A little too late? Now why would you have that wild idea?]

john & john said every vote would be counted... on 11/3 & several times after that, so they are making good on their promise. doesn't it make your heart swell in pride that our man never quits, says what he'll do and then does what he says.

[SNIFF! I’ve got a lump in my throat. This obscure legal motion filed by nameless lawyers is going to CHANGE the future course of world events.]

Kerry has been awfully quiet lately. I was just thinking that.

[Don’t you get it? It’s all part of the PLAN. Two years before the election, Kerry PLANNED to lose the election and allow Bush to be inaugurated. Then over a month after the inauguration, it was PLANNED that some of his lawyers would file a minor legal motion in Ohio that would OVERTURN the election. De PLAN, boss, De PLAN!!!]

It was always going to come down to evidence. That is how he worked as a prosecutor to prevent going to court and losing. If he didn't have a preponderance of the evidence he wouldn't have his office prosecute cases needlessly. Whatever comes of this now will be for the good of the country, even though it may not work to Kerry's personal benefit. This is also why they held on to some of the campaign funds.

[Yeah, that 15 million buck campaign fund that wasn’t spent on the campaign was set aside specifically for the purpose of filing a meaningless obscure legal statement in support of someone else’s equally meaningless and obscure legal motion in Ohio.]

This may all work out in the end. Now Shrub's cabinet nominees all lied under oath. And if one card in this house of cards gets taken down by the courts, so go the rest. I really was quite disappointed with Kerry lately, but now I see perhaps he was proceeding cautiously all along. Though I promise not to get too hopeful yet...

[Not me! I’ve broken out the champagne and plan an all night victory party for Kerry. I BELIEEEEEVE!!!]

He has a pattern of sticking with something, for years if he has to. He's still on the BCCI case after all these years, as the people who lost money in that bank take it to court, blasting the Bank of England for not doing more to help those people. It may not be a fast-moving process, but I think we will see these little reports from time to time to let us know he's still on the case. Maybe something will eventually happen, maybe not. I understand your caution, but I can't help but think that they pissed off the wrong fellow. It will be the end of them yet.

[It may not be a fast moving process but the election results will DEFINITELY be overturned in the year 2525…..IF man is still alive.]

I'm PLEASED!! Let's keep the election fraud on the front burner!

[Everybody! KICK this thread. FORM ELECTION FRAUD COMMITTEES! SEND A LEGAL TEAM TO OHIO! INVESTIGATE ALL OBSCURE MEANINGLESS ELECTION DOCUMENTS! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!]

THE DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN POSTED

[Thank you, Pied Piper Pitt. I’ve seen them and I am struggling to stay awake.]

Will, about six weeks ago you said things would start brewing in six weeks.

[Six weeks is about the right time frame for Pied Piper Pitt to recycle his old comedy routines. He knows the DUmmies have very short memory spans.]

Thanks Will! This is great news. I was hoping my esteemed junior Senator would keep at it. I'm glad he hasn't given up, even though it will not benefit him personally. (And will be seen as too little too late by many folks, alas.)

[Too little, too late? Where did you get such a crazy idea? These obscure legal motions in Ohio means that we are at the DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!!!]

And what's the status of the Alliance For Democracy? I know they are getting screwed by a countersuit, but are we to believe they're done? I feel bad for Cliff and all of them, but I wonder if they're still planning to file another suit somewhere. I remember when they withdrew Moss V Bush they promised they were going to continue to collect evidence and file again somewhere else.

[Unfortunately that case gathered too much Moss.]

This is great news. I KNEW that they would keep fighting. They are both OUTSTANDING attorneys.

[May I interest you in the purchase of a certain bridge in Brooklyn?]

I'm telling you, Bushco are NOT going to serve out their term. About 4 major psychics have said so. One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.

[FOUR MAJOR PSYCHICS have said this? Well, you just CAN’T argue with that type of expertise.]

I still contend it IS Kerry's destiny to be President (and NOT as late as 2008). How we'll ever get this through the Repug-controlled court system will be a major miracle in itself, but....forever the optimist...fingers crossed!

[I BELIEEEEEEVE!!!]

YoooWhoooo! Thanks Will. Come on Howard fight for the truth!! TALK TO THE HOUSE JUDICIARY DEMS, THEY ARE A CLEARINGHOUSE FOR FRAUD EVIDENCE! Please don't do this to "stifle the left", we've put our time, money, heart and soul into this investigation. We need a leader to take this forward!!!! Great news! Fight on DEMS!

[CREATE YOUR OWN VIRTUAL REALITY!!!]

This spark should keep the fire going. Now let's keep fanning the fire.

[ENTER THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!!]

Edwards would not be still digging if he didn't think he had a case! Thanks Will. I do not believe knowing lawyers, and Edwards winning background they'd be doing this "still" less they had something.

[CHANT THE “ELECTION FRAUD” MANTRA!!!]

don't forget that John Kerry is a lawyer, too. He was a prosecutor and tried 7,000+ cases and won them all as Asst. D.A. If anyone can bring this fraud to light, it's these two sharp guys and their team!

[CONSULT MOTHER GOOSE FOR OUR OWN ALTERNATE REALITY!!!]

I can't f'ing believe it! This is GREAT!!!!

[SHOOT OFF THE VICTORY FIREWORKS!!!]

There has been WAY ample time for the crooks to compromise the programming of the previously compromised central tabulators and voting machines. And just think of all the paper ballots that have surely been "audited" by republican activist thugs. I am VERY glad that the 2-Johns are in on this, but it seems to me the forensic evidence is getting away, or has already gotten away. I'm also curious as to what's still happening in all of the other states that bush stole with his slimey army of thugs.

[KILLJOY! And for splashing cold water on our very solid hopes, you will NOT be invited to Kerry’s Alternate Reality Inauguration party.]

Well, I'll be damned! YIPPEE!!! Thanks for the lift...

[Don’t forget to copy and paste that statement into Notepad so you can use it again and again and again for the many other times that Pied Piper Pitt posts the VERY LATEST “scoops” about obscure Ohio legal motions being filed.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: billypitt; du; dummies; ibelieeeeeeve; willpitt
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To: PJ-Comix
They are both OUTSTANDING attorneys.

Maybe some of you DUmmies can get Edwards to get you on disability.

61 posted on 02/25/2005 7:42:22 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Regular paycheck, no work involved. . . .)
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To: BJClinton
About 4 major psychics have said so.

Not minor psychics, mind you. Major psychics, the big ones. Four of 'em.

62 posted on 02/25/2005 7:45:08 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Hm, I'm impressed.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I still contend it IS Kerry's destiny to be President

France might have an opening. Chirac is getting up there.

63 posted on 02/25/2005 7:48:26 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (Jean-Fraud Kerry.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Come on Howard fight for the truth!!

And get Ward Churchill in on this, too! Speak truth to power, man! Power to the people!

64 posted on 02/25/2005 7:51:41 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (YEEEAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

What do you say to people like that? I mean, if somebody with Down's syndrome says something like that you just smile and nod. What do you do with these people? If they have challenges I don't want to be a jerk and make fun of them.


65 posted on 02/25/2005 7:55:49 AM PST by BJClinton (What's the difference between the Super Bowl and the Grammy's? The Eagles have won a Grammy)
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To: whereasandsoforth
Does anyone know what has happened to that Bev Harris woman taht was the gadfly of DUmmieland? I thought she had enough evidence of election fraud to sink all hope for a continuing Bush administration. Is she immune to radar?

That is one of the great tragedies to befall DUmmieland. She was so close! Oh so close! Just $10 away from proving the fraud that would have made John Kerry President, but she never got those last $10.
66 posted on 02/25/2005 8:12:38 AM PST by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: PJ-Comix
My first reaction when I saw this thread's title on my "My Comments" page? "Yep, three days from the end of the month, looks like it's time to shake the money tree again."

Great news. Thanks. I'm going to check it out.

"Yeah, after the guy won by 3,500,000 votes, has been inaugurated and several MSM outlets have done stories about how loopy we all are, I'm sure there's something solid there and John Kerry will be President by April. Where can I send you some money?"

john & john said every vote would be counted... on 11/3 & several times after that, so they are making good on their promise.

Every vote was counted. That's why you lost by 3.5 million.

doesn't it make your heart swell in pride that our man never quits, says what he'll do and then does what he says.

Yeah, he's like the Energizer Bunny of American Communism.

It was always going to come down to evidence. That is how he worked as a prosecutor to prevent going to court and losing.

When Kerry was a prosecutor he went after pretend election fraud? Wow, what a guy.

He has a pattern of sticking with something, for years if he has to.

Indeed. As Rambette pointed out just now, he's still aleging war crimes 33 years after his Senate testimony about them.

I'm PLEASED!! Let's keep the election fraud on the front burner!

Reading this line made me feel like the cat in the Gary Larson cartoon "Cat Fud." Please, please, keep it on the front burner, you barking moonbats.

THE DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN POSTED

THE TRASH HEAP HAS SPOKEN!

Will, about six weeks ago you said things would start brewing in six weeks.

Yep, it's brewin' like burrito night at the nursing home.

About 4 major psychics have said so.

But remeber, they're the educated, rational, science-minded defenders of the Enlightenment, and we're just ignorant, Bible-thumping rednecks.

One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.

Rambette sez, "But in 2006, John Kerry will still have his bidet. Of course, maybe that's not the kind of power they were talking about.

Repug-controlled court system

Yes, that's why Roe vs. Wade has been overturned and virtual child porn is illegal. Darn those conservatives!

There has been WAY ample time for the crooks to compromise the programming of the previously compromised central tabulators and voting machines.

Rambette sez: No, all the Dem election officials have the "evidence" safely stored in the trunks of their cars.

I'm also curious as to what's still happening in all of the other states that bush stole with his slimey army of thugs.

Yeah, just like he "stole" Florida because one cop parked his car in front of a polling for about ten minutes. Hey, let me save you some time: You won't uncover the massive vote fraud because this time around Dubya got help from space aliens. Trust me on this, I got it straight from the major psychic who works as a bathroom attendant at my favorite restaurant.

67 posted on 02/25/2005 8:12:48 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line)
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To: PJ-Comix

Cue Bev Harris renewing her plea for just $10 to once and for all expose the fraud.


68 posted on 02/25/2005 8:13:22 AM PST by beans36 (Truth, justice and the American way since 1961.)
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To: techcor

BFEE=Bush Family Evil Empire?


69 posted on 02/25/2005 8:17:49 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line)
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To: Mr. Silverback

Yep. They live in their own world. Where * = Bush for some stupid reason.


70 posted on 02/25/2005 8:32:58 AM PST by techcor (DUmmy screed: "To insanity, and beyond!")
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To: techcor
The reason *=Bush in their world is because when a ballplayer beats a record but does so under less-than-trying circumstances, you put an asterisk next to the record. For an example, some people said Michael Strahan's sack record should have an asterisk because it appeared that Brett Favre laid down for the sack.

So it's basically their way of reiterating that Bush is President because he stole the election in 2000. Gary "I'm the least witty person in the world but I think I'm a mix of George Bernard Shaw and Albert Einstein" Trudeau came up with it.

71 posted on 02/25/2005 8:37:58 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line)
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To: BufordP

Maybe you could anonymously supply a partial print out of the corresponding DUmp thread to your Dem-supporting co-worker? "Keep hope alive."


72 posted on 02/25/2005 8:39:31 AM PST by BillF (Fight terrorists in Iraq & elsewhere, instead of waiting for them to come to America!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I notice that Pied Piper Pitt's book was published by Pluto Press, a leftwing publisher.

Aw jeez, you'd have to be from Pluto to believe this crap.

73 posted on 02/25/2005 8:42:14 AM PST by Mr. Silverback (Chrome wheeled, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line)
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To: PJ-Comix
He was a prosecutor and tried 7,000+ cases and won them all as Asst. D.A.

I couldn't let this pass (though I skipped the earlier post on Kerry's canny prosecutorial choices) -- it's way into barking moonbat territory even for DU. As I understand it, Kerry was an asst. DA for less than two years (per Howie Carr, the amount of time it took for his boss to get rid of him). He worked on one significant case, on which his predecessor had done all the heavy lifting.

74 posted on 02/25/2005 8:45:13 AM PST by maryz
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To: ravingnutter

Thanks for the post -- it clears up a lot.


75 posted on 02/25/2005 8:49:09 AM PST by maryz
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To: PJ-Comix; doug from upland
Pied Piper Pitt playing his flute as the DUmmie lemmings go over the cliff. Any suggestions for the flute tune?

This one works with either "ants" or "rats," both appropriate, given the context:

THE ANTS GO MARCHING

The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one,
The little one stops to show he's dumb
And they all go marching
Down to the sea
To get out of the Storm.
Boom, boom, boom!

two by two/ to post DU
three by three/ to hug a tree
four by four/ to yell like Gore
five by five/ to get a life
six by six/ to bash on hicks
seven by seven/ to shout an "F'n"
eight by eight/ to demonstrate
nine by nine/ to moan and whine
ten by ten/ to start again

76 posted on 02/25/2005 9:00:10 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: MadIvan

But it's such fun to watch, isn't it? Maybe I'm sadistic, but I hope they continue to post "election" updates, and continue to think Kerry will be president..soon...


77 posted on 02/25/2005 9:19:26 AM PST by ariamne (reformed liberal--Shieldmaiden of the Infidel)
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To: maryz

I refrained from commenting on an earlier post about his "prosecutorial" abilities earlier as well. From my experience as a OSI Agent in the Air Force, attorneys that only go to court with cases that have "an overwhelming proponderence of evidence" were the worst because that's the only way they could win the case. If we, as agents, couldn't give them enough evidence that there was NO WAY they could lose the case, they wouldn't prosecute. It was frustrating because sometimes more evidence is uncovered during discovery, which won't happen unless the case is taken to court. The attorney with true ... uh ... balls were the ones that would prosecute as case with enough evidence to show a crime, knowing that they had the ability to make it stick in court.


78 posted on 02/25/2005 9:20:13 AM PST by Jackson57
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To: Mr. Silverback

Yeah, I remember seeing something about that awhile back. Stil a pretty stupid reason. Trudeau hasn't been witty in a long time. Still I wonder if old Uncle Duke is do to bite the bullet.


79 posted on 02/25/2005 9:21:08 AM PST by techcor (DUmmy screed: "To insanity, and beyond!")
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To: PJ-Comix
The DU is fantasy land. They must have escaped from their keepers and found a computer... No One in their right mind can possiblbly believe Kerry will be president this term..
80 posted on 02/25/2005 9:21:50 AM PST by just me (Over 59,000,000 Americans voted not to negotiate with terrorist.....)
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