DUmmie FUnnies 02-25-05 ("BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 25, 2005 | Pied Piper Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

William Rivers Pitt has pulled out his magic flute and is fooling the DUmmies once again with his election fraud tune. If this sounds like Déjà vu all over again, it is because Pied Piper Pitt has played this same tune many times before in order to puff himself up with his manufactured self-importance with yet another election “scoop” that means less than nothing. The only thing that makes this latest self-puffery slightly more amusing than the rest is that it is being played by Pied Piper Pitt over a month AFTER the inauguration. You can hear Pied Piper’s Pitt’s latest tune being played for your amusement on this DUmmie THREAD breathlessly titled, “BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!” So what’s all the hoopla really about? YAWN! Nothing more than some obscure legal motion where a couple of the minor league candidates filed a statement on something called a legal transfer and, OH YEAH, Kerry-Edwards (actually their lawyers) filed a document in support of that statement. If you want to pop some No-Doze and read it for yourself you can find it on Pied Piper Pitt’s appropriately named (because all the Truth is Outta there) TRUTHOUT website. As usual the DUmmie rantings and Pied Piper Pitt’s flutings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, struggling to stay awake after being tranquilized by the obscure meaningless legal motions, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions. The documents have been posted.

[YAWN! Been there. Done that. The only thing even slightly amusing about your recycled act this time, Pied Piper Pitt, is the timing since this “revelation” comes over a month AFTER inauguration.]

Great news. Thanks. I'm going to check it out.

[And don’t forget to take a strong dose of No-Doze. This latest “revelation” by Pied Piper Pitt is like that famous description of Oakland---There’s no there there.]

Hmmm..what do you make of this Will? Seems too little too late, yet why would Kerry have not been pushing harder earlier?

[A little too late? Now why would you have that wild idea?]

john & john said every vote would be counted... on 11/3 & several times after that, so they are making good on their promise. doesn't it make your heart swell in pride that our man never quits, says what he'll do and then does what he says.

[SNIFF! I’ve got a lump in my throat. This obscure legal motion filed by nameless lawyers is going to CHANGE the future course of world events.]

Kerry has been awfully quiet lately. I was just thinking that.

[Don’t you get it? It’s all part of the PLAN. Two years before the election, Kerry PLANNED to lose the election and allow Bush to be inaugurated. Then over a month after the inauguration, it was PLANNED that some of his lawyers would file a minor legal motion in Ohio that would OVERTURN the election. De PLAN, boss, De PLAN!!!]

It was always going to come down to evidence. That is how he worked as a prosecutor to prevent going to court and losing. If he didn't have a preponderance of the evidence he wouldn't have his office prosecute cases needlessly. Whatever comes of this now will be for the good of the country, even though it may not work to Kerry's personal benefit. This is also why they held on to some of the campaign funds.

[Yeah, that 15 million buck campaign fund that wasn’t spent on the campaign was set aside specifically for the purpose of filing a meaningless obscure legal statement in support of someone else’s equally meaningless and obscure legal motion in Ohio.]

This may all work out in the end. Now Shrub's cabinet nominees all lied under oath. And if one card in this house of cards gets taken down by the courts, so go the rest. I really was quite disappointed with Kerry lately, but now I see perhaps he was proceeding cautiously all along. Though I promise not to get too hopeful yet...

[Not me! I’ve broken out the champagne and plan an all night victory party for Kerry. I BELIEEEEEVE!!!]

He has a pattern of sticking with something, for years if he has to. He's still on the BCCI case after all these years, as the people who lost money in that bank take it to court, blasting the Bank of England for not doing more to help those people. It may not be a fast-moving process, but I think we will see these little reports from time to time to let us know he's still on the case. Maybe something will eventually happen, maybe not. I understand your caution, but I can't help but think that they pissed off the wrong fellow. It will be the end of them yet.

[It may not be a fast moving process but the election results will DEFINITELY be overturned in the year 2525…..IF man is still alive.]

I'm PLEASED!! Let's keep the election fraud on the front burner!

[Everybody! KICK this thread. FORM ELECTION FRAUD COMMITTEES! SEND A LEGAL TEAM TO OHIO! INVESTIGATE ALL OBSCURE MEANINGLESS ELECTION DOCUMENTS! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!]

THE DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN POSTED

[Thank you, Pied Piper Pitt. I’ve seen them and I am struggling to stay awake.]

Will, about six weeks ago you said things would start brewing in six weeks.

[Six weeks is about the right time frame for Pied Piper Pitt to recycle his old comedy routines. He knows the DUmmies have very short memory spans.]

Thanks Will! This is great news. I was hoping my esteemed junior Senator would keep at it. I'm glad he hasn't given up, even though it will not benefit him personally. (And will be seen as too little too late by many folks, alas.)

[Too little, too late? Where did you get such a crazy idea? These obscure legal motions in Ohio means that we are at the DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!!!]

And what's the status of the Alliance For Democracy? I know they are getting screwed by a countersuit, but are we to believe they're done? I feel bad for Cliff and all of them, but I wonder if they're still planning to file another suit somewhere. I remember when they withdrew Moss V Bush they promised they were going to continue to collect evidence and file again somewhere else.

[Unfortunately that case gathered too much Moss.]

This is great news. I KNEW that they would keep fighting. They are both OUTSTANDING attorneys.

[May I interest you in the purchase of a certain bridge in Brooklyn?]

I'm telling you, Bushco are NOT going to serve out their term. About 4 major psychics have said so. One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.

[FOUR MAJOR PSYCHICS have said this? Well, you just CAN’T argue with that type of expertise.]

I still contend it IS Kerry's destiny to be President (and NOT as late as 2008). How we'll ever get this through the Repug-controlled court system will be a major miracle in itself, but....forever the optimist...fingers crossed!

[I BELIEEEEEEVE!!!]

YoooWhoooo! Thanks Will. Come on Howard fight for the truth!! TALK TO THE HOUSE JUDICIARY DEMS, THEY ARE A CLEARINGHOUSE FOR FRAUD EVIDENCE! Please don't do this to "stifle the left", we've put our time, money, heart and soul into this investigation. We need a leader to take this forward!!!! Great news! Fight on DEMS!

[CREATE YOUR OWN VIRTUAL REALITY!!!]

This spark should keep the fire going. Now let's keep fanning the fire.

[ENTER THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!!]

Edwards would not be still digging if he didn't think he had a case! Thanks Will. I do not believe knowing lawyers, and Edwards winning background they'd be doing this "still" less they had something.

[CHANT THE “ELECTION FRAUD” MANTRA!!!]

don't forget that John Kerry is a lawyer, too. He was a prosecutor and tried 7,000+ cases and won them all as Asst. D.A. If anyone can bring this fraud to light, it's these two sharp guys and their team!

[CONSULT MOTHER GOOSE FOR OUR OWN ALTERNATE REALITY!!!]

I can't f'ing believe it! This is GREAT!!!!

[SHOOT OFF THE VICTORY FIREWORKS!!!]

There has been WAY ample time for the crooks to compromise the programming of the previously compromised central tabulators and voting machines. And just think of all the paper ballots that have surely been "audited" by republican activist thugs. I am VERY glad that the 2-Johns are in on this, but it seems to me the forensic evidence is getting away, or has already gotten away. I'm also curious as to what's still happening in all of the other states that bush stole with his slimey army of thugs.

[KILLJOY! And for splashing cold water on our very solid hopes, you will NOT be invited to Kerry’s Alternate Reality Inauguration party.]

Well, I'll be damned! YIPPEE!!! Thanks for the lift...

[Don’t forget to copy and paste that statement into Notepad so you can use it again and again and again for the many other times that Pied Piper Pitt posts the VERY LATEST “scoops” about obscure Ohio legal motions being filed.]

[daguberment]

They are simply pitiful. But very entertaining at the same time.

[phoenix0468]

I'm telling you, Bushco are NOT going to serve out their term. About 4 major psychics have said so. One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.

No,no, that's the four major psychos. The same four who are posting on DU and lurking on FR. the rest of the members of DU just go to have a good laugh at them. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[phoenix0468]

Well, I'll be damned! YIPPEE!!! Thanks for the lift...

No, Yippee, thanks for the laugh.

[phoenix0468]

Every vote was counted. That's why you lost by 3.5 million.

And some really stupid Dems have bragged about some couting twice.

[phoenix0468]

hehe.

[daguberment]

PJ - Comix - if that's your real name, your fans are becoming a little impatient with the increasing frequency of your "I'll post again tomorrow or the next day....". We expect two DUmmie FUnnies each day. Each meticulously researched, formatted and commented upon. Your failure to deliver our daily humor will be reported to the U.S. Dept. of Progressive Ridicule (USDPR).

Get back to work and stop your slacking already.

[phoenix0468]

Here's a little ditty the band called EMF wrote for one Mr. Pitts:

You burden me with your questions
You'd have me tell no lies
You're always asking what it's all about
But don't listen to my replies

You say to me I don't talk enough
But when I do I'm a fool
These times I've spent, I've realized
I'm going to shoot through
And leave you

The things, you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say
You're unbelievable

You burden me with your problems
By telling me more than mine
I'm always so concerned
With the way you say
You've always go to stop
To think of us being one
Is more than I ever know
But this time, I realize
I'm going to shoot through
And leave you

The things, you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say
You're unbelievable

Seemingly lastless, don't mean
You can ask us
Pushing down the relative
Bringing out your higher self
Think of the fine times
Pushing down the better few
Instead of bringing out the clues
To what the world and everything anger to
Brace yourself with the grace of ease
I know this world ain't what it seems.

(You're unbelievable)
You burden me with your questions
You'd have me tell no lies
You're always asking what it's all about
But don't listen to my replies

You say to me I don't talk enough
But when I do I'm a fool
These times I've spent, I've realized
I'm going to shoot through
And leave you

The things, you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say
It's why I love you more
The things, you say
Your purple prose just gives you away
The things, you say
You're unbelievable

You're so unbelievable

You're unbelievable

(You're unbelievable)

You're unbelievable

[GeronL]

Its nearly that time of the month again, they'll be asking for money

[GeronL]

PJ - Comix - if that's your real name, your fans are becoming a little impatient with the increasing frequency of your "I'll post again tomorrow or the next day....". We expect two DUmmie FUnnies each day. Each meticulously researched, formatted and commented upon. Your failure to deliver our daily humor will be reported to the U.S. Dept. of Progressive Ridicule (USDPR). Get back to work and stop your slacking already

and he needs to stop taking weekends off, =o)

[pigsmith]

And here I thought it was so the keyboards and outgoing electrons wouldn't be contaminated by actually typing out the name "Bush".

[JLO]

Hey, our pal here on FR -- franksolich -- is home alone with pneumonia. That's why he's been so quiet.

I don't think he should be home alone with pneumonia - without our thoughts and prayers!! And I think he should be hospitalized. But, that's just me.

[Clypp]

Please add me to the ping. The DUmmy funnies always make my hour.(Not quite the day but good nonetheless)

[squidward]

133rd

[Giliad]

Get yourself a 2005 Writers Market, find a publisher that publishes DUFU type books and publishes first time authors, and send in a book proposal. You don't need an agent.

You can always self publish too. With all the copies you'd sell on FR you'd hit the magic number of sales quick and the self publishing Co. you use would start kicking in advertising. It can't hurt anything to send in book proposals though. Get a book on manuscript formats, etc. and put one together. It's much easier to get published now. I'll be looking forward to buying a DUFU book.

[cgbg]

In other news, lawyers for Tilden have filed a motion to have the election of 1876 overturned.

The motion was filed on behalf of his great-great-great-great grandson who said he would not rest until the foul Republicans are exposed.

;-)

[PJ-Comix]

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #625.