DUmmie FUnnies 02-11-05 ("Is anyone else tired of living like this?")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 11, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Duke Nukum]

I feel so bad for the DUmmies and I would do something for them, but my appointment book is full with all the beatings of non-white, non-Christian, and non-male people I have to deliver.

Combine that with my volunteer work of depositing giant salt lick sized blocks of Xanix, Prozac, and Paxil around State St., the Capitol, and other places on the UW-Madison campus that I just don't have any time to man the suicide hotline.

By the way, what's "Xtian?" Is that a new anti-depresent? Does it come in big blocks I should be distributing around the City of Madison?

[speed_addiction]

I found THIS little gem over in DUmmieland today!

I see people that I KNOW are Freepers! Going through life, smiling, laughing, playing with their kids in the park! I feel like running up to them and screaming, "AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION? CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE? CAN'T YOU SEE THE EVIL YOU HAVE BROUGHT DOWN ON US?" I get closer and closer to doing it everyday.

[speed_addiction]

I feel so bad for the DUmmies and I would do something for them, but my appointment book is full with all the beatings of non-white, non-Christian, and non-male people I have to deliver.

Ain't it great? Since we won we can actually beat the poor bozos less fortunate than us. When Clinton was in office I had to console myself with handing homeless people KFC Buckets full of rocks instead of chicken and kicking puppies down flights of stairs.
Xtian is DUmmie shorthand for Christian. They can't bring themselves to actually write the word Christ.

[rockrr]

I see people that I KNOW are Freepers! Going through life, smiling, laughing, playing with their kids in the park! I feel like running up to them and screaming, "AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION? CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE? CAN'T YOU SEE THE EVIL YOU HAVE BROUGHT DOWN ON US?" I get closer and closer to doing it everyday.

Oh! Is that what he was saying?! When the guy ran towards me screaming incoherently, I was at first a bit uncertain. Then I realized it was just a liberal and ran him over with my SUV ;'}

[bray]

Relax DUmmies, being out of Power is only depressing for the first Decade or Two!! That Iraq vote thingy has sent them into never never land. Tough when you are proven to be 100% WRONG.

Pray for W and Our Freedom Fighting Troops oh and Pray for These Lost Souls

[franksolich]

I have a liberal sister-in-law like that, sir.

She finds it impossible to write "Christmas," so uses "C-mas" instead.

All the time, she does this.

[dr_pat]

[If you were a Freeper,] you would wake up every day hating gays, minorities, anything non-christian.
The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this FReeper.

Great call! Just shows that PJ isn't the only one who hears echoes in these DU threads...

[bray]

By the way, what's "Xtian?"

Christian??

Pray for W and Our Freedom Fighting Troops

[beckysueb]

In much of the world, what we are going through is day to day life for them. Look at what goes on in Africa.

Oh, man, this is too much! Those spoiled brats dare to compare their cushy life to the suffering of the people in Africa! What twits!!! Hey Dummies! Wake up. How in the world are you suffering and just how are you oppressed? You're just a bunch of spoiled brats mad because you didn't get your way. Thats a big difference than the actual suffering that goes on in Africa! Sheesh, why don't you DUmmies grow up!

[PJ-Comix]

By the way PJ, this may be the FUNNIEST DUmmie FUnnies yet! If I were a publisher, this one would definitely get you a deal!

I may need another hit on that Valiium lick. I just KNOW the DUFU book would be a big hit but to get it published I have to go thru the literary agent hurdles which are tough.

[beckysueb]

Four years and counting of these daily outrages, waiting for the other shoe to drop, has changed my personality for the worst. If I'm not awake dreading every moment, I'm dreaming about horrible outcomes.

Hey, DUmmie! Maybe the reason the other shoe never drops is because it is all in your deranged mind!

[franksolich]

Your thoughts echo mine, madam, every time I go over into the septic-tank to see what the DUmmies are saying.

They have no idea.

For them, "starving" is going without Cheetos, "disease" is having a cold, "homeless" is being pried out of the basement by mom or dad to come to supper, "naked" is not having the latest trendy $240 jacket; "oppressed" is having to find a job; "poor" is having only $15 for $20 of dope.

They have no idea. No idea at all.

[Repub4bush]

I posted this on the DUFU's this morning from what I heard on Fox.

I thought the guy in the pic looked like one of the DUmmies I have seen on their picture board...LOL

[Darkwolf377]

The one next to the crying chick? Man he looks like what my doctor friend calls a GOMER

[beckysueb]

I see people that I KNOW are Freepers! Going through life, smiling, laughing, playing with their kids in the park! I feel like running up to them and screaming, "AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION? CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE? CAN'T YOU SEE THE EVIL YOU HAVE BROUGHT DOWN ON US?" I get closer and closer to doing it everyday.

And these are the people who want to be in charge. Scary s--t!

[beckysueb]

She finds it impossible to write "Christmas," so uses "C-mas" instead.

My daughter in law taught my 3 year old grandson to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. But Granny taught him the proper way to greet folks at Christmastime. LOL

[beckysueb]

They have no idea. No idea at all.

I know. Its just pathetic!

[Duke Nukum]

Well, if they tried that medication, I bet they wouldn't need the others and their paranoid deluxtians would come to an end.

[speed_addiction]

This was the thread that did it. I met my liberal democrat Beyonce/Halle Barry type girlfriend three and a half years ago. She is an MD and Desert Storm Vet. I always tried to push her politically to the right and she valiantly resisted, even held her nose and voted for Kerry.

But over the last few months, between the treatment of Condi Rice and now the Ward Churchill flap. I email her links to the DUmmies FUnnies.

This is the thread that finally put a chink in her armor. She is embarrassed by these people. Thanks PJ. Together we may have saved this beautiful woman's soul!

[Nowhere Man]

mass medication. You know how horses have salt licks in barns ... we need to have giant Valium licks in public places ... work, banks, etc., ... have a lick and cope with this fundamental Xtian crap.

[LOL!!! Thanx for giving me the BEST laugh I’ve had in a month!!! I can just picture DUmmies on all fours partaking of a giant Valium lick. The mental image is making me fall out of my chair again!!!]

Well, like I said a while ago, buy stocks in pharmaceuticals and drug store chains. I know I work at a drugstore myself, but even if I didn't I would still give the same advice. B-)