Of course I have a birth certificate. The DMV claimed it was forged.
Then you're argument is with your state's DMV...Please don't add me and millions of others to a police fingerprinting system because your state DMV are asswholes. What's to say later down the road your fingerprints, or rather someone elses that are just close enough to yours, you get screwed again? What are you willing to do to make sure that doesn't happen...jerk off into a police jar so they can really identify who you are?
This is total BS.
FMCDH(BITS)
I've got a piece of property in the Tennessee backwoods that sounds just right for you. You sound like you have lousy luck with cops (of all stripes) or God hates you. You need to hide till it blows over.