Dear Houmatt,
I read all the posts on this thread. I can't add anything that hasn't been said better than anyone else. But I'll add my .02 anyway.
I've been down, I've been homeless, I've run from the police, been in police stations, been an alcoholic and drug user, been divorced, been hugely in debt, been broken hearted, been suicidal, and so on.
God loves each and every one of us unconditionally. All we need to do is open our hearts to him in our helplessness, and pray for His protection, not depending on our own strength even slightly. Prayer can go on in the heart even when others don't see or know.
The more we depend on God, knowing ourselves to be without strength, the more strength He gives us. It's a perfect relationship - we need Him, He wants to protect us. We are lost and small, He is great and loving. He never hates us for our faults; think of the story of the prodigal son.
May God give you the wisdom to serve Him, the desire to do His will, and the strength to do it. You'll see light again, and you'll hope again.
~Hugs for my friend, from one who also led a wild life 2 decades ago
little jeremiah, you are indeed an inspiration. God Bless you for your strength and wisdom on this thread and elsewhere and best wishes for 2005. It is after all a new year, on this the feastday of the Most Holy Name of Jesus.