Freeper needs legal advice - daughter planning to marry muslim she met on the internet (update 322)

[6ppc]

My daughter will turn 21 next week. She is living at home and working.

Two days ago she informed us she had met a man online who lives in the UK and they had developed a serious relationship. He was planning to come to visit and she was informing us and asking if we would agree to meet him. This man is of Indian nationality and is a muslim in school in England. His parents have been living in Saudi Arabia for over 20 years.

We told her this was dangerous and a very bad idea. I tried to convince her to give the idea up and she said she would think about it.

Tonight we found out she is has come up with a plan to go to England and marry him. She says she is of legal age, has thought it through and is determined to do this.

I've now changed tactics and am working on getting him to come over here. I talked to him on the phone tonight and told him that I was unwilling to consider this unless he moved to the US and got a job here.

My daughter has only had one boyfriend in her life and is very much a loner. She has few friends and never goes out, so I'm sure this is a reaction to being lonely.

I need to do some quick intervention and stop this. I need advice.

1) Since she is over 18 (21 next week) is there any kind of legal action I can take to prevent her from leaving the country?

2) How can I do a background check on this guy?

This is my worst nightmare and I don't know what to do.

[6ppc]

I'll spend whatever I have to to check him out. I'm just getting started on this, but I may wind up freep mailing you to get those names. Thanks for the offer.

[6ppc]

Any advice for this mom?

Actually I'm the dad.

[Velveeta]

"Break" the computer.

Disconnect phone service.

Immediately.

(Talking to your LEO friends is a good idea)

[sweetliberty]

Have her watch the movie, "Not Without My Daughter." If that doesn't get her thinking, see if you can come up with video of a female genital mutilation and an "honor killing." Maybe taped interviews of American women who have married Muslim men whose children are now held hostage to Islamic societies where women have no rights at all.

Don't mean to bum you out any more, but you're right. This is serious. You do what you need to do. And if all else fails, forbid it. If she says you can't make her, just remind her that as the wife of a Muslim, she'd better get used to things being forbidden and to having no will of her own.

[Hetty_Fauxvert]

Oh, my goodness. Well, three thoughts spring to mind.

1) Find a PI in the UK and see if you can dig up any dirt on this guy, especially anything such as him already having a wife. (Your daughter might not care about him having a criminal record but she might be ticked off if he already has a wife!) I found an association of British private investigators here: The ABI. I don't know anything about this association but it appears that you can find someone to hire through it.

2) See if you can find out who his parents are and find some way to contact them. They might not be thrilled at all to find out that their son is contemplating marrying an American non-Muslim.

3) This is really dirty pool ... but do any of your friends have good-looking sons? Can you subtly find a way to introduce them (such as friend comes over to help you fix something around the house and has his son with him). I would even consider bribing the son to act interested. However, if you do something like this, you will have to be VERY careful not to get caught, since she will just be even angrier if she finds out. However, a good-looking guy in the hand is worth two on the Internet, especially if you're just 20!

Good luck with this!!!!!!

[NRA2BFree]

Call the State Dept and find out about all the mothers who have had their children kidnapped and taken back to a Muslim country, never to see them again. I'm sure they can give you enough information to wake her up. I've seen specials on TV about women who end up in that position. Perhaps they could give you information on how to obtain a video of one of those programs.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this. It's gotta be scary. Have you tried to take her to a singles group at a local Christian church? I'm sure the pastor could help you. I'll keep you all in prayer.

Show her this thread and the pictures of the men, women and children who have all been murdered by Muslims in the last few years. It's a good reminder what we're dealing with.

[Valpal1]

My cousin's Saudi husband beat her, broke her arm and her nose before she figured it out. Thankfully, they were still in the U.S. and she could obtain a divorce, her daddy got a smart lawyer and got him deported back to S.A.

Frankly, I would report him as "suspicious" to the FBI, just in case.

If you have the money, I would pay a likely local boy to entertain and take your daughter to dinner, movies, concerts, who cares what. It doesn't have to be dating, more of a social escort to get her socially active with her peer group again. She'll lose interest in the long distance relationship if she has some local interests.

Sign her up with a local dating service. Hire one of those cult deprogramming outfits.

At this point, you have nothing to lose but your child, so be daring and innovative.

Doing nothing is the only wrong choice.

[Velveeta]

Ooops.

Sorry Dad!

I'm a Mom of 2 girls.

This would scare the crap out of me.

Good luck and God Bless.

[6ppc]

And if all else fails, forbid it.

That was plan A...already done.

Lot's of good ideas here...thanks for the suggestions.

She has been raised as a Christian, but has always had a lot of interest in foreign cultures. I've got to get her to see how incredibly dangerous and foolish this is.

[sweetliberty]

"I would continue to talk straight to the muslim suitor"

Yes, that is a very good idea. In their culture, that is how it would be done. Women don't make decisions. Their husbands, brothers and fathers do.

[carlr]

Since she is of legal age there is not much you can do other than try to appeal to her sensibilities.
None of us can judge what this man is or what he will do, that is he may turn out to be very nice.She should be made aware of the treatment of women and female children in Muslim countries and culture.
If this man intends to take her to a middle eastern country she should know that she and her children will not be allowed to leave to visit family unless her husband allows it.
It probably won`t do any good to be confrontational.She is an adult by all measures.I`m sure it will be hard, but hopefully treating her as such and making sure she has all the facts of a Muslim culture will avert a heartbreaking situation for her,future children and you.

[Gunrunner2]

Checking now (email) with UK professor friend to see if the universities in the UK can tell you anything about the guy. . .like if he is an actual student.

Will advise.

[#1CTYankee]

"Other than locking her in the basement you are screwed!:

Very constructive, remind me not to ask for your advice in the future.

[finnman69]

You need to find a way to convince her that an online lost distance relationship is no substitute for the real thing. The difference can be very scary and in fact I can bet she will find him to be a completely different person once she meets him.

Convince her marriage is something not to be taken lightly and she owes it to herself and her family to take the time to slow down and find out who this guy is.

[6ppc]

Thanks. I don't yet have his full name or where he goes to school but he has offered to provide that information.

[#1CTYankee]

Have one of her close friends help you out. I'm sure if you can speak frankly to them about the situation logically you can convince them to help. (I Hope)

[6ppc]

Already working on that. My reaction to this has not been good. Initially I thought telling how crazy this is would convince her to give it up, but she is now rebelling against me. I just hope I can get her to see reality.

[Gunrunner2]

Gotcha. . .get that info soonest. I will be leaving for the UK on Sunday and would like to look into this if I could.

[xJones]

Get that desparate soul to read here for a taste of her future life.

[dennisw]

This Muslim is no dope. He has homed in on an inexperienced naive girl-woman. He's gonna use her for Lord knows what. Maybe she's his ticket to immigrating to the United States.