Two Hours to Go (Last Words Heard from Moore)

We’ve only got two hours left on the East Coast! I am in Cleveland and the turnout is huge. It was the same this morning as we went to polling sites in Florida. People waited for three hours to vote, but no one was deterred. One man told me “I’d wait in this line three days if I had to.” It’s raining here in Ohio, we’ve got a big bus and we’re pulling people out of their homes (gently!) handing out free umbrellas, ponchos, and bottles of water (the last item being slightly unnecessary, considering how soaked all of us already are!). I’ve been getting early tracking results from across the country and things are looking good – very good. But anything can happen in the last few hours. People are just getting out of work. The lines are going to be enormous. Tell everyone you know – as long as you are IN LINE before the closing time, they HAVE TO let you vote.

Early word has it that it is very tight in Nevada, New Mexico, Colorado, and Iowa! Michigan – don’t let me down! If you haven’t voted, stop reading this and get down to the polls. Keep calling and e-mailing your address book.

Just for fun on this joyous day, below is the Washington Post review of Moore's "memorable" Canadian Bacon.

I particularly liked this paragraph. Says a lot:

"Canadian Bacon" was originally supposed to be released more than a year ago. There were reports that it did poorly with test audiences, but Moore attributed his problems to the political content of the film, which he said was too liberal for the tastes of the Hollywood company that backed him.

‘Canadian Bacon’
By William F. Powers
Washington Post Staff Writer
September 22, 1995

There are bad Washington movies ("Dave") and there are bad Washington movies ("Protocol"). But in the history of films about presidents and their policies, few have even approached the pure awfulness of "Canadian Bacon." It's a new "comedy" from Michael Moore, the frolicsome director who won fame with his 1989 comic documentary "Roger & Me," and more recently imposed on the republic the egregious television show "TV Nation." Now he returns to the multiplexes with his first feature film, a fictional story that's supposed to make us laugh.

It doesn't, despite a cast featuring such proven mirthmakers as Dan Aykroyd, Steven Wright, Rhea Perlman and the late John Candy. There are no laughs at all in this movie. There are exactly three titters, however. You'll notice them, because they will be the only moments when you are not staring at the screen in mute disbelief at the hackneyed horror of it all.

Alan Alda plays the president of the United States. At the beginning of the story, he is in Niagara Falls on a visit to a defense contractor that has run into hard times because of the end of the Cold War. Companies that lay off hard-working Americans are Moore's specialty, and he is particularly fascinated by the evil corporate chieftains who run them. Thus we have R.J. Hacker (G.D. Spradlin), the mindless right-winger who runs this outfit and speaks warmly of nuclear Armageddon. A figure straight out of the "Dr. Strangelove" era, he wants the United States to revive its conflict with the "Russkies"—even though the movie is set roughly in the present, the characters actually use such hoary phrases as "Russkies" and "pinko."

The president, a liberal who is flagging in the polls and unlikely to win reelection, comes up with a brilliant idea to revive the economy and regain political popularity. He and his idiotic aides (Rip Torn and Kevin Pollak) will create a new enemy: Canada. The Canadian menace is trumped up in the media ("Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United States," warns one news report), and in no time the nation is in a frenzy over its new nemesis.

The rest of the film moves back and forth between the White House (played by a building that looks nothing like the genuine article) and cities along the U.S.-Canada border. Some working-class Americans get involved in cross-border warfare, there is a hostage crisis, and a terrible doomsday weapon is unleashed, threatening to end civilization.

In a way, this is not technically a Washington movie, because only parts of it are set in and around the White House. But the basic conceit of the movie is a political one, and in the way that it seeks to be a satire on modern political decision-making, this is very much a Washington story. Moore has said the movie was inspired by the way the American populace, under media tutelage, fell in line behind the Bush administration's war against Iraq.

Moore seems to assume that the audience will share his incredulity about recent history and laugh along with his feeble gags, which feel like a string of rejected skits from an old "Saturday Night Live" show. Along the way there are lots of dumb Canada jokes. Beer comes up often, as do Mounties, snow, Anne Murray and Canadians' manners, neatness and accent.

"We've got ways of makin' you pronounce the letter `O,' " somebody says to a Mountie at one point. This may have been one of the titters. It's hard to remember.

Actually, the politics of this movie are merely quaint. It's the humor that hurts.

Canadian Bacon is rated PG.

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