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DUmmie FUnnies 10-11-04 PM Edition (DUmmies Want To MEDITATE Bush Out Of Office)
Various DUmmies and Assorted MOrons | October 11, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/11/2004 6:36:21 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Since nothing seems to be working in the effort to pull down Bush’s popularity, the Dummies, in desperation, have now turned to the power of meditiation to remove the evil regime. I would definitely encourage the DUmmies in this endeavor. It is harmless, has NO EFFECT on the election, and allows the DUmmies to partake of copious quantities of bean sprouts. Now assume the lotus position, chant a mantra, and meditate upon this latest DUmmies Funnies THREAD. As per usual, the meditations of the DUmmies in their dimension is in Bolshevik Red while the wise observations of your humble Guru is in the [brackets]. HUMMMMMMM:

Meditate for Change is a grassroots movement started by several individuals in Albuquerque, NM, who are disheartened and discouraged with the growing amount of fear and dishonesty being projected by the current leadership of our country. We choose to activate the power of collective thought as an effective tool for change. Our intent is to promote wisdom, compassion and honesty during the 2004 electoral process.

[And as your spiritual leader, Baghman Shrill Baksheesh, I will lead you in deep meditation to remove the evil Bush Regime from power. Now try to recite my holiest of mantras. It is something I chant whenever I materialize in your dimension every 6,000 years in the penthouse suite of the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas: “Rama Dama, I Wanna HOT MAMA!!!”]

Our plan: A nationwide collective meditation fifteen minutes before each presidential and vice presidential debate, Plus fifteen minutes at 10 p.m. Eastern time (9 p.m. Central, 8 p.m. Mountain and 7 p.m. Pacific) on November 1st. The united concentration is to focus on promoting wisdom, compassion and honesty during the 2004 electoral process. Help us with this project! Please organize 'thought vigils' in your community, among your friends, family and organizations. Pass this message on to as many people as you know, post it on public bulletin boards and in the press! We need to move fast!

[Thank you for posting the meditation times but in the space-time continuum it is meaningless without reference to the dimensional aspect. You see, in your dimension, UP is the opposite of DOWN. But here in the fifth dimension, UP is three miles east of Philadelphia.]

Just imagine what MORE could be accomplished if instead of sitting on our asses just "wishing" and "thinking" about what could be... if we would instead VOLUNTEER, work phone banks, distribute literature, register voters (there's still time in some states) and most of all VOTE.

[No, no. As your Blessed Master, I INSIST that you sit on your asses and ponder that eternal question: “Is there life after birth?” Please meditate upon that thought until November 3.]

what I have trouble with is that the author of this piece of crap that you're helping to disseminate encourages the reader to engage in magical thinking RATHER than actually doing something useful.

[You want to do something useful? Then spend two eternities polishing my Rolls Royce. And when you are done with that, I have a whole fleet of those Rolls Royces for you to work on. Remember, there is an important purpose why you need to polish my Rolls Royce fleet. It is to find your Inner DUmmie.]

Rejecting all preconception, with a deep heartfelt vow to remain absolutely open and present, without mind trips, simply stopping and falling in to your fear of death by dying now.

[Rejecting all thought, with a deep heartfelt vow to fail to vote by dying now…]

What is death, but to stop everything, now, don't move, nothing more to say, pretend to be dead... try it for an hour. It is the most uplifting and empowering way to meet life.

[What is death but to drop dead NOW, don’t move, lose your mind to eternity, hold your breath…try it for an hour. It is the most uplifting and empowering way to meet DUmmies.]

I don't know about "meditating for a purpose, as, IMO, it denies the very root of meditation", the willingness to be without purpose, to surrender the ego and sit still.

[I don’t know from nothing but in the surrender of your liquid assets to my bank account.]

Of all things in life, discovering what the consciousness is like without blowing ego constantly can be very deeply profound, and for all the simplicity of it all, so few do it.

[The Butterfly of Life, discovering what the consciousness is like, spends profound seconds of simplicity before I SMOOSH it in my hand.]

Meditation works wonders.....it affects the person meditating and the world at large in wonderful ways...we are all connected on some level.....it costs nothing but time to sit quietly and still the mind. Meditating is a healing, refreshing, and calming experience. The benefits to mind, body and spirit are incalculable.

[Yes, we are all connected in wonderful ways…and right now I am connecting with your girlfriend in my Vegas penthouse suite…so sit outside in the hallway meditating, healing, and refreshing. The benefits to your Guru Baghman Shrill Baksheesh’s body and spirt are incalculable. Enjoy your bean sprouts, my Earth Child.]

I also think of meditation as an exercise of finding stillness or emptiness, perhaps the place between thoughts or before thought.

[Or without thought.]

always important to be aware on where we put our focus-- how can it hurt to focus in positive ways?

[Focus your thoughts on a floating lotus blossom---forget Election Day.]

I periodically get together with my activist friends for visualization/rituals. We all feel that it is valuable to work on all fronts.

[Visualize November 3. It is time for you to vote. Go into deep meditation/hibernation until that very day.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; meditation
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To: pharmamom

Well, you have ONLY been a freeper since 10-3-04....so you are under double secret probation.


21 posted on 10/11/2004 7:23:13 PM PDT by Feiny (The use of intoxicants is one of the distinguishing marks of the higher types and races of humanity.)
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To: pharmamom

Oh, my sarcasm was directed at this post:

Hey, PJ. Have you noticed that the DUmmies keep track of how many posts they have? What is up with that?

Not the one I replied to.....I did that to confuse you & the terrorists.


22 posted on 10/11/2004 7:28:36 PM PDT by Feiny (The use of intoxicants is one of the distinguishing marks of the higher types and races of humanity.)
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To: feinswinesuksass

I have on my beanie cap with the helicopter on top. Every time I see your nickname, I crack up. But I shouldn't laugh. We have Julia "Dumber than a box of rocks" Carson.


23 posted on 10/11/2004 7:37:12 PM PDT by pharmamom (Just give the entire Middle East some Zoloft)
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To: PJ-Comix
Some people stare at their navel while meditating.

Dim liberals stare at their prostate while maditating.

24 posted on 10/11/2004 7:39:27 PM PDT by Free Trapper (Terrorism is the Black Heart of Islam,not the fringe!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Guru Baghman Shrill Baksheesh

reminds me of my stoner days.

25 posted on 10/11/2004 7:41:41 PM PDT by mdittmar (May God watch over those who serve to keep us free.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Our intent is to promote wisdom, compassion and honesty during the 2004 electoral process

What these people don't get is that by promoting wisdom, compassion and honesty, they're promoting George Bush. Kerry has none of these qualities and the more we see of Bush, the more it is apparant he is the epitome of these qualities.

Let em keep promoting!!!!

26 posted on 10/11/2004 7:59:49 PM PDT by Wonderama (,)
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To: PJ-Comix
fifteen minutes at 10 p.m. Eastern time (9 p.m. Central, 8 p.m. Mountain and 7 p.m. Pacific) on November 1st.

No worries. The 'spring forward-fall back' deal is gonna screw this plan all to hell. They'll never be able to coordinate anything that complicated.Plus they will be all worn out from stealing Bush signs as a Halloween prank.

27 posted on 10/11/2004 8:50:04 PM PDT by San Jacinto
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To: PJ-Comix

In the blessed words of the Guru Baghman Shrill Baksheesh:

[You want to do something useful? Then spend two eternities polishing my Rolls Royce. And when you are done with that, I have a whole fleet of those Rolls Royces for you to work on. Remember, there is an important purpose why you need to polish my Rolls Royce fleet. It is to find your Inner DUmmie.]

Wax-on; wax-off.

In the words of the drooling maladroits:

"Rejecting all preconception, with a deep heartfelt vow to remain absolutely open and present, without mind trips, simply stopping and falling in to your fear of death by dying now."

Keep in mind that dying does NOT prevent DUmmies from voting.

Repeat after me and you too can be a mindless zombie:

OWAAAAA
TALUUUU
NIAMMMM


28 posted on 10/11/2004 8:52:15 PM PDT by Laurita (Been a lurkin', time to start workin')
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To: pharmamom

Not to be sticking up for DU, but it's common to find a numerical hierarchy in fora online-- usually the less reputable ones, to be sure. Another forum where I occasionally lurk uses the same system.


29 posted on 10/11/2004 9:36:32 PM PDT by stands2reason (Song for the Moment -- SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS --My Drag)
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To: PJ-Comix
"Hello, seeker! Now don't feel alone here in the New Age, because there's a seeker born every minute." -- Firesign Theatre, 1974.

And, the classic:

Buddhist to hot dog vendor: "I'll have one with everything."
30 posted on 10/11/2004 10:22:30 PM PDT by Mike Fieschko (YOUR BRAIN IS NOT THE BOSS!)
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To: Mike Fieschko

Can't we all just get a-bong?


31 posted on 10/12/2004 2:10:59 AM PDT by Smoote
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To: PJ-Comix

Another Classic. Wouldn't be nice if we could send them all to the seventh dimension.


32 posted on 10/12/2004 8:16:44 AM PDT by desherwood7
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To: PJ-Comix

Oh most wise Baghman;

ROTF! Speaking from experience, those hippie dippies at DU lack the discipline, focus and mental clarity to swing a compass needle, much less swing the election!


33 posted on 10/12/2004 5:42:08 PM PDT by Ostlandr (Nationalist, small-r republican, fiscal conservative, social liberal, pagan. NOT a Bush partisan!)
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