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DUmmie FUnnies 10-11-04 PM Edition (DUmmies Want To MEDITATE Bush Out Of Office)
Various DUmmies and Assorted MOrons | October 11, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 10/11/2004 6:36:21 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

Since nothing seems to be working in the effort to pull down Bush’s popularity, the Dummies, in desperation, have now turned to the power of meditiation to remove the evil regime. I would definitely encourage the DUmmies in this endeavor. It is harmless, has NO EFFECT on the election, and allows the DUmmies to partake of copious quantities of bean sprouts. Now assume the lotus position, chant a mantra, and meditate upon this latest DUmmies Funnies THREAD. As per usual, the meditations of the DUmmies in their dimension is in Bolshevik Red while the wise observations of your humble Guru is in the [brackets]. HUMMMMMMM:

Meditate for Change is a grassroots movement started by several individuals in Albuquerque, NM, who are disheartened and discouraged with the growing amount of fear and dishonesty being projected by the current leadership of our country. We choose to activate the power of collective thought as an effective tool for change. Our intent is to promote wisdom, compassion and honesty during the 2004 electoral process.

[And as your spiritual leader, Baghman Shrill Baksheesh, I will lead you in deep meditation to remove the evil Bush Regime from power. Now try to recite my holiest of mantras. It is something I chant whenever I materialize in your dimension every 6,000 years in the penthouse suite of the Flamingo Hotel in Vegas: “Rama Dama, I Wanna HOT MAMA!!!”]

Our plan: A nationwide collective meditation fifteen minutes before each presidential and vice presidential debate, Plus fifteen minutes at 10 p.m. Eastern time (9 p.m. Central, 8 p.m. Mountain and 7 p.m. Pacific) on November 1st. The united concentration is to focus on promoting wisdom, compassion and honesty during the 2004 electoral process. Help us with this project! Please organize 'thought vigils' in your community, among your friends, family and organizations. Pass this message on to as many people as you know, post it on public bulletin boards and in the press! We need to move fast!

[Thank you for posting the meditation times but in the space-time continuum it is meaningless without reference to the dimensional aspect. You see, in your dimension, UP is the opposite of DOWN. But here in the fifth dimension, UP is three miles east of Philadelphia.]

Just imagine what MORE could be accomplished if instead of sitting on our asses just "wishing" and "thinking" about what could be... if we would instead VOLUNTEER, work phone banks, distribute literature, register voters (there's still time in some states) and most of all VOTE.

[No, no. As your Blessed Master, I INSIST that you sit on your asses and ponder that eternal question: “Is there life after birth?” Please meditate upon that thought until November 3.]

what I have trouble with is that the author of this piece of crap that you're helping to disseminate encourages the reader to engage in magical thinking RATHER than actually doing something useful.

[You want to do something useful? Then spend two eternities polishing my Rolls Royce. And when you are done with that, I have a whole fleet of those Rolls Royces for you to work on. Remember, there is an important purpose why you need to polish my Rolls Royce fleet. It is to find your Inner DUmmie.]

Rejecting all preconception, with a deep heartfelt vow to remain absolutely open and present, without mind trips, simply stopping and falling in to your fear of death by dying now.

[Rejecting all thought, with a deep heartfelt vow to fail to vote by dying now…]

What is death, but to stop everything, now, don't move, nothing more to say, pretend to be dead... try it for an hour. It is the most uplifting and empowering way to meet life.

[What is death but to drop dead NOW, don’t move, lose your mind to eternity, hold your breath…try it for an hour. It is the most uplifting and empowering way to meet DUmmies.]

I don't know about "meditating for a purpose, as, IMO, it denies the very root of meditation", the willingness to be without purpose, to surrender the ego and sit still.

[I don’t know from nothing but in the surrender of your liquid assets to my bank account.]

Of all things in life, discovering what the consciousness is like without blowing ego constantly can be very deeply profound, and for all the simplicity of it all, so few do it.

[The Butterfly of Life, discovering what the consciousness is like, spends profound seconds of simplicity before I SMOOSH it in my hand.]

Meditation works wonders.....it affects the person meditating and the world at large in wonderful ways...we are all connected on some level.....it costs nothing but time to sit quietly and still the mind. Meditating is a healing, refreshing, and calming experience. The benefits to mind, body and spirit are incalculable.

[Yes, we are all connected in wonderful ways…and right now I am connecting with your girlfriend in my Vegas penthouse suite…so sit outside in the hallway meditating, healing, and refreshing. The benefits to your Guru Baghman Shrill Baksheesh’s body and spirt are incalculable. Enjoy your bean sprouts, my Earth Child.]

I also think of meditation as an exercise of finding stillness or emptiness, perhaps the place between thoughts or before thought.

[Or without thought.]

always important to be aware on where we put our focus-- how can it hurt to focus in positive ways?

[Focus your thoughts on a floating lotus blossom---forget Election Day.]

I periodically get together with my activist friends for visualization/rituals. We all feel that it is valuable to work on all fronts.

[Visualize November 3. It is time for you to vote. Go into deep meditation/hibernation until that very day.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; meditation
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This is the Guru Baghman Shrill Baksheesh speaking to you from the fifth dimension reminding all Freepers to meditate upon entering the sacred DUmmie FUnnies PING List. If you wish to enter the vast Eternity of Humor That Never Ends, plead with your Blessed Master to be enshrined on the PING List. And remember to follow our strict dietary code and REFUSE to eat raw mongoose flesh...except on Wednesdays.
1 posted on 10/11/2004 6:36:22 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 10/11/2004 6:37:15 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Nothing like summoning your dark master, through meditation, to help you overthrow the government.


3 posted on 10/11/2004 6:39:16 PM PDT by NELSON111
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To: PJ-Comix

p.s. don't bogart the joint my friends.


4 posted on 10/11/2004 6:39:57 PM PDT by pipecorp ("never know where you're going till you get there." the philosopher Insectus Harem)
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To: PJ-Comix
Wow. That post actually gave me a third-generation contact high. That must be some powerful stuff they're smoking over there...!
5 posted on 10/11/2004 6:40:36 PM PDT by atomicpossum (If there are two Americas, John Edwards isn't qualified to lead either of them.©)
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To: PJ-Comix

REPEAT AFTER ME:

OOOOHHHHH
WOOOTTTTA
SILLYASSIAM


6 posted on 10/11/2004 6:43:39 PM PDT by Feiny (The use of intoxicants is one of the distinguishing marks of the higher types and races of humanity.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Hey, PJ. Have you noticed that the DUmmies keep track of how many posts they have? What is up with that? And there seems to be some sort of hierarchy based on who has the most. Awfully works-oriented for a religion of just-beingness. Or whatever.


7 posted on 10/11/2004 6:48:38 PM PDT by pharmamom (The Evil Drug Companies may someday save your life...)
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To: pharmamom
Hey, PJ.

"Hey, PJ?" Please address your Blessed Master as the Guru Baghman Shrill Baksheesh.

8 posted on 10/11/2004 6:51:29 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Another classic, PJ! My eyes are watering from laughing, as usual!


9 posted on 10/11/2004 6:51:35 PM PDT by PatriotGirl827 (God Bless America!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Rejecting all preconception, with a deep heartfelt vow to remain absolutely open and present, without mind trips, simply stopping and falling in to your fear of death by dying now.

The DUmmie that wrote this was mind tripping at the time. One too many hits on the crack pipe I'm afraid.

10 posted on 10/11/2004 6:54:38 PM PDT by rdl6989
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To: PJ-Comix
These folx are just plain crazy!


$710.96... The price of freedom
VII-XXIII-MMIV

11 posted on 10/11/2004 6:56:30 PM PDT by rdb3 (How much are the Muslims paying Pat Buchanan?)
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To: rdb3

i fart in their general direction


12 posted on 10/11/2004 6:57:51 PM PDT by kingattax (FreeRepublic leads...others follow)
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To: PJ-Comix
"Hey, PJ?" Please address your Blessed Master as the Guru Baghman Shrill Baksheesh.

Can I abbreviate that to GBSB, oh Blessed One? I actually do have an Om tattoo.

13 posted on 10/11/2004 7:02:18 PM PDT by pharmamom (The Evil Drug Companies may someday save your life...)
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To: PJ-Comix

SERENITY NOW!


14 posted on 10/11/2004 7:02:47 PM PDT by canalabamian (Common sense, unfortunately, is not very common)
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To: kingattax

and their mothers were hamsters and their fathers smelt of elderberries...if they come back here, we will taunt them some more!


15 posted on 10/11/2004 7:03:14 PM PDT by pharmamom (The Evil Drug Companies may someday save your life...)
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To: PJ-Comix
What is death, but to stop everything, now, don't move, nothing more to say, pretend to be dead... try it for an hour....

While driving 80 down the interstate.

16 posted on 10/11/2004 7:03:47 PM PDT by Vigilantcitizen (Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Larry Larry
Larry Larry
Curly Moe
Curly Moe
Curly Curly
Curly Curly
Larry Moe
Larry Moe


17 posted on 10/11/2004 7:06:19 PM PDT by Dinsdale
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To: pharmamom

we will.....with great relish


18 posted on 10/11/2004 7:08:42 PM PDT by kingattax (FreeRepublic leads...others follow)
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To: canalabamian
SERENITY NOW!

That reminds me of a scene from one of the FUNNIEST movies ever. It was The Loved One. Jonathan Winters played, the Blessed Reverend (or something like that) the director of a large cemetary. After the Blessed Reverend finds out that it is more profitable to convert the cemetary into another real estate venture, he arranges to have the bodies sent into space. At the end of the movie when the rocket blasts off containing some corpses, the Blessed Reverend leaps up and yells: "RESURRECTION NOW!!!"

19 posted on 10/11/2004 7:11:56 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

LOL

I am glad you can decipher what they are talking about....it just goes right over my head...LOL


20 posted on 10/11/2004 7:16:04 PM PDT by MikefromOhio (Rudi Bahktiar is hot!!!! Too bad she works for CNN.....)
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