Posted on 04/16/2004 7:44:59 PM PDT by Swordmaker
I’ve already gotten quite a reputation as the crotchety "old man" who sits in his dusty hobby room surrounded by relics of yesteryear, listening to old vinyl records, waxing nostalgic and lamenting the good old days, when ‘high-tech’ was a term you’d use to describe the mad scientist’s bubbling, smoking laboratory in a sci-fi movie.
Sometimes frankly, this ain’t so far from the truth.
I confess ... I’ve certainly not embraced this computer age of technology with anxious, open arms.
No, this hug’s been more like the one I gave my overly affectionate, 80-year-old aunt with all the lipstick and mustard-gas perfume when I was a little kid. I winced and wheezed as she kissed and squeezed ... it was pure torture and I sure as hell didn’t like it, but I had no choice.
I never got stoked when Pong was first introduced to the world. I was probably around 11 or 12 years old, and back then, I lived for pinball. Even at that age, I could smell impending doom for my beloved game of silver ball when the video game scourge spread through arcades like an epidemic plague.
But with the introduction of, first the word processor, then the personal computer, I reacted with a retching gag reflex. Not only was I not interested; I’d have nothing of it.
I managed to get through college, graduating with a bachelor’s in English, without ever using a computer. I typed hundreds and hundreds of pages on an old portable manual typewriter.
Sadly, as the years ticked by, I realized I could only hold out so long. Eventually it was inevitable that I’d have to accept (and embrace... yuk) the computer into my life.
Thank the gods for Apple computer. They took what some of us perceive as a bitter pill and made it palatable. For years now, I’ve found comfort in Apple’s computers and the Macintosh operating system. Not only do they make better and more intuitive products, but I relate to them as the rebels they are in the computer industry.
These mavericks built an empire founded on going against the grain and defying the status quo in a world ruled by corporate dullards with narrow minds and no vision. It’s why us creative types will always rally to Apple’s corner and support them.
If it weren’t for Apple, I’d probably still be locked up in a dusty old hobby room typing this column on my antique Smith Corona portable typewriter.
Don’t misunderstand me though. Even with Apple’s killer products, I still can get a bit grumpy around computers. For the most part, I’ve always considered them a necessary evil in my life.
Well, that was true until last Christmas.
The turning point was when my wife Kelly surprised me with an iPod. I was stoked. For the first time ever, I got genuinely excited about new technology. This was clearly an example of technology and progress used for good not evil (examples of evil might include cruise missiles, cell phones and e-mail).
The iPod, Apple’s personal music player, is as close to "perfect technology" as anything I’ve ever seen. It’s functionally light years ahead of its nearest competitor, beautiful in its simple and clean design, and (true to Apple) so easy to use.
I always thought iPods were overpriced. Until I had one of my own. Trust me, they’re a real bargain.
Here’s why the iPod rocks. At about the size of a deck of playing cards, it holds so much music that it could feasibly play music 24 hours a day for a solid month and never repeat a single song. I don’t even own that much music. And with a simple cable, you can connect your iPod to nearly any stereo (it’s like having a portable jukebox in your pocket).
More miracles A couple of weeks ago I had another "Eureka!" moment. I discovered another little miracle of technology, also from my friends at Apple, called GarageBand. GarageBand is part of Apple’s iLife suite of software programs, and it came standard with my new PowerBook laptop.
This miraculous little program literally turns your Mac into a professional recording studio.
It comes with thousands of top-quality prerecorded music loops, which is like having hundreds of virtual musicians hanging out at your house, just for your recording needs. But believe me, in some ways they’re better than the real thing. Your house won’t get nearly as thrashed, and you’ll still have beer left in your fridge after a night of laying down tracks.
GarageBand is so easy to use that from the time I’d first launched the program, I was making music within five minutes. And I never even opened a user manual.
I bought a $20 cable, and now I can plug my electric guitar, bass, keyboards, or microphone right into my laptop and record live instrument tracks.
I always entertained fantasies of composing my own soundtrack for a horror film, specifically (you guessed it) a zombie film, and GarageBand made my wishes come true.
I’ve already recorded the tender, humble beginnings of a soundtrack for a zombie flick that doesn’t even exist (except in my own overactive imagination). I’m definitely no Danny Elfman (or even John Carpenter), but I’ll bet I have as much fun as they do.
For all its charms and qualities though, GarageBand does have its faults. Ever since I started playing with it, that’s all I want to do. I seem to spend every spare waking moment (even if it’s just 10 minutes of free time) making music with GarageBand.
A couple of times, when I was on a creative roll, I even considered bringing my PowerBook and headphones to bed, but the look on my wife’s face as I walked in with my "mobile studio" was enough to convince me that my habit was probably getting out of hand.
I’m finding it harder and harder to resist the seductive allure of this cyber-temptress. If I continue to give in, and keep answering the siren song of my G4 PowerBook, soon my wife will call herself a GarageBand widow.
Wait a second ... am I actually gushing over new technology? How did I stray so far from the path of the old-school?
I’d better throw one of my old 33’s on the turntable and think back on the good ole days, before it’s too late.
How would he know? He apparently "upgraded" directly to a Mac from his Smith-Corona. Wonder of wonders - he likes Macs better than typewriters. Pardon me while I recover from the shock of such an unexpected turn of events.
I'm sure that a guy who spent his entire life getting from place to place on a pogo stick would think that a Yugo was the greatest thing since the invention of fire, but he doesn't have much basis for opining that a Yugo is the best of all cars.
It's only "apparent" if you're looking for a problem to have. A critical re-reading will show you're inferring quite a bit 8->
Hey, you're the logic guy. Your proposition fits Argument Ad Ignorantiam to a tee. Taken along side: a) the number of PCs out there, and b) His rhetorical posture of comparison (though admittedly compared to what is unstated) when "intuitive" would be absurd if applied to a manual typewriter, and c) he's a grumpy bastard who writes, so by definition his migration to computers demands the computer he migrated to would have to be an improvement over his smith-corona (weg). All in all, I'd say you were hanging your hat on a very loose peg indeed.
I have no idea what he did or didn't do in his life - all I have to go on is what he says. And thus far, he's provided no evidence of any reasonable basis for his opinion. Maybe he's just a crappy expository writer, and he forgot to mention that he worked with PCs for many years. I don't know, and I rather doubt that you do either, unless you're the author.
Nevertheless, you infer quite explicitly he has no experience outside Macs and typewriters. As it is an inference, with no positive evidence, it is by definition "from ignorance."
I merely pointed out such an inference, while not beyond the realm of possibility, is exceedingly unlikely given the number of Macs one would run across relative to the number of PCs. It's not an assumption , it's a probability.
This is further buttressed by the proposition that referring to a manual typerwriter (the only other tool mentioned) as "intuitive" by comparison is as ill-fitting as referring to a mirror as "soft."
Next point, (this is getting kinda fun) going after my objectivity, to slip in a charge against the author of committing your error doesn't work because he was writing a subjective piece while you were writing about him, and my objectivity has nothing to do with either. He opined: you impugned. He doesn't have to prove he likes Macs; you do have to prove his preference is predicated on inexperience to be cogent.
On balance, I think if you will look at the entire exchange objectively, you will find you're looking to criticize a cat because you don't happen to like the word "meow."
Errr, I said "He apparently 'upgraded' directly to a Mac from his Smith-Corona." Note the key weasel word - "apparently". ;)
I merely pointed out such an inference, while not beyond the realm of possibility, is exceedingly unlikely given the number of Macs one would run across relative to the number of PCs. It's not an assumption , it's a probability.
And it's still an inference of your own, since he does not state any experience with PCs. Really, is it a good idea to criticize what you see as my inferences by substituting your own?
This is further buttressed by the proposition that referring to a manual typerwriter (the only other tool mentioned) as "intuitive" by comparison is as ill-fitting as referring to a mirror as "soft."
Oh, come now - now I know you're joking. Why on earth can't a typewriter be "intuitive", but a computer can be?
He doesn't have to prove he likes Macs; you do have to prove his preference is predicated on inexperience to be cogent.
If I point out that his case is incomplete, I don't have to "prove" anything beyond that his case incomplete. Which it is. Perhaps he has experience with PCs that allows him to fairly label Macs as better products, but he certainly didn't discuss that here. QED.
:^)
Better than typewriters? ;)
Except for filling out multi-part carbonless forms. Yes.
Oh, and they are better than PCs too...
Oh, sure. Like I'm really going to trust YOU!
You're only saying that cause you work on PCs.
The subpoena is already in the mail... ;^)
OK, OK! Ya got me... I was fibbing a bit when I said I was impartial...
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