What do you call a doctor with no arms and no legs nailed to a wall?
Art.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?
Matt.
How can you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew the doctor's habit and would always have a drink waiting. But one day the bartender ran out of hazelnut extract, so he substituted hickory nuts. When the doctor arrived, he took a sip and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No, I'm sorry," the bartender replied. "It's a hickory daiquiri, doc."