Posted on 12/31/2020 12:19:51 AM PST by Olog-hai
In his latest report on federal government waste, a project he completes every year, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) highlights $54.7 billion in government spending that he deems wasteful. Among the items noted this year is the creation of a $6.9 million “smart toilet,” which operates with three cameras, one of which can identify a user’s “analprint.”
As explained in The Festivus Report 2020, researchers at Stanford University used $6,973,057 in funds granted through the National Cancer Institute, which is part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to create a so-called “smart toilet.”
The purpose of the toilet is to develop “easily deployable hardware and software for the long-term analysis of a user’s excreta through data collection and models of human health,” state the researchers in an abstract.
“Each user of the toilet is identified through their fingerprint and the distinctive features of their anoderm [anus], and the data are securely stored and analysed in an encrypted cloud server,” state the researchers. …
(Excerpt) Read more at cnsnews.com ...
True story...70s...several friends of mine from the Bronx were returning home from the Jersey shore in two cars after a day of drinking on the beach. As one car passed the other one guy mooned the other car as well as the driver of the car ahead. Complaint was filed, Jersey bench warrant issued, went court. The friend being mooned was asked to testify if he could identify the mooner.
His reply, “Well not really, it all happened so fast.”
“Are you or are you not a close friend of the defendant?”
“Yes, but not that close.”
Peals of laughter in court room. Order in the court, order in the court...gavel pounding.
Case was dismissed.
Da Bronx boys.
There was a Simpsons episode set in Japan where Homer runs to the bathroom that has a toilet cam. Classic reaction by the kids inadvertantly seeing the action on TV...
In our house we just use our noses. It’s also a cheap and convenient Covid -19 test.
The only downside to a Smart Toilet is that it can be heard screaming every time it sees Michael Moore approaching.
This is the kind of stuff that happens when you get a critical mass of gays in control of decision making
I’ll make millions after I invent
the anal mask. (flushable of
course). Will the toilet be
infrared or high intensity lit?
Cameras don’t work well in low
light conditions. I can also see
many digging a pit in their back
yards for the outhouse. Grandpa
taught me that one shovel full
of dirt equals about 7 trips to
the lew. So it takes about 50
shovels full of dirt for the hole.
It will suffice for one year before
you have to dig a new hole.
re the state- your fecal waste is more important to them than your ballot...
It’s just like the left to prefer exploring Uranus over Mars.
Seeing the headline I had to check to see if this was the Babylon Bee.
Then I got to “As explained in The Festivus Report 2020...” and I had to check again!
WTH??
“Please explain to me why the toilet needs to know who is sitting on it?”
Either like the toll passes in cars so they can charge you $1 each time.
OR - so they can test your poop and make sure you took the Covid vaccine.
My gas would fracture the testing equipt.
The meter would report: Houston we have a problem.
thats why the seatbelt on the pot?
So it doesn’t confuse your hemorrhoids with someone else’s.
: )
Its all part of AOC’s agenda to reduce methane gas through the use of emission measurement and the fart tax legislation that she is going to introduce in the new congress
Just a retina scan.
It is going to be a way to charge more if you have a big butt. /s Some people have two butts. More cha-ching!
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