Everyone should know that they are accountable for the choices they make/don't underestimate family values and the security of a loving two parent family.
Posted on 11/07/2017 1:15:39 PM PST by drewh
When I was a freshman in college, I thought I met the love of my life. He was cool and fun and sexy, an older frat guy who was good at beer pong and knew exactly how to make me laugh. Within weeks of our first meeting, he became my official boyfriend. Within six months, we moved in together. Another six months later and we were engaged.
It was a whirlwind romance by any definition — except for the fact that I cheated on my boyfriend three times. Despite the heartache it caused, my experience with infidelity taught me a lot about love, relationships, and growing up.
Before college, I had been a serial monogamist. Since my first schoolgirl relationship at 14, I had several long-term boyfriends, and was never single for longer than two months at a time. I lost my virginity the summer before high school, and after that, had been sexually active with my subsequent partners. Despite my "experience," as my friends and future boyfriends would call it, I had no idea what it was like to be in a serious adult relationship — that is, until I went off to college.
That's when I met the man I would date, get engaged to, and inevitably cheat on. That's when I learned what a real romantic relationship was.
The beginning of my relationship with my college boyfriend was like a fairy tale. We were inseparable: He walked me to class, studied with me in the library, ate meals with me, and slept over nearly every night. We partied together on weekends, got to know each other's friends, and started talking about The Future. I was 18, and although I had been in what I had considered a "serious" relationship before, this was the first time I had the freedom to explore what I thought an adult relationship was supposed to be like — love, sex, drama and all.
The first time I cheated on my boyfriend, I wrote it off as a foolish mistake. I was drunk at a concert with a group of friends who found some cute boys for us to hang out with. After a half-dozen 20-ounce beers, a couple of joints, and a few sexy country songs, could I really be help accountable for my drunken actions? I loved my boyfriend, after all, and I knew we were going to be together forever, so what was one stupid mistake?
Even though I tried to write it off as insignificant, a week after I cheated I fessed up to my boyfriend out of sheer guilt. His face crumpled as I admitted, as he had suspected, that something did happen the night of the concert I didn't want to tell him about. His eyes burned with anger when I tried to tell him the same excuse I had been telling myself: I was drunk, and it didn't mean anything.
Eventually, he did forgive me, but after cheating, there was a distance between us that no amount of time seemed to be able to close. Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
Something had changed in our relationship, and it wasn't just broken trust on behalf of my boyfriend. It was an uneasy feeling in my gut and a tiny voice in my head that said, But what if you did mean it?
The second time I cheated on my boyfriend was no drunken mistake, and both of us knew it. After partying with friends, I ended up at a former crush's house and quite predictably, one thing lead to another and we slept together. The next day, that uneasy feeling in my gut had some company: pure guilt, and an overwhelming sense of being a truly terrible person. The voice got louder too, and started to say more: You did mean it, and this won't be the last time this happens, either.
When I cheated on my boyfriend for the third and last time, he wasn't actually my boyfriend — he was my fiancé. Despite the bumps in our relationship, a combination of our feelings for one another, a heavy dose of hormones, and the idea of finding happily ever after kept hurtled us towards a disastrous engagement that would only last seven uncomfortable months.
A month before it all fell apart, I cheated on my then-fiancé with another former crush, and even before our lips touched, I knew I was doing something wrong, but that I wouldn't regret it. I needed this infidelity to get me out of my relationship, something I knew deep down needed to happen, but something I was too weak and too immature to do on my own. So I cheated — again — and it served as one last sign that not only were my fiancé and I not meant to be, but I was not mature enough to really be with anyone.
That's the biggest lesson cheating taught me: that fidelity is an exercise in trust and maturity, one that not everyone can perform. I certainly couldn't at age 20, and it showed me that not only was I not ready for a serious monogamous relationship with my ex, but that I was not ready for a serious monogamous relationship at all. I may have felt like an adult, but I didn't have the relationship experience, communication skills, patience, or empathy to embark on a forever kind of love I so desperately wanted to have. I was selfish, uncaring, immature, and too caught up in the idea of what relationships are supposed to be, rather than what my relationship was actually like.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
Cheating ripped away the false narrative about my relationship that I had created — we were in love, and with love came pain and drama — and instead illuminated my love, or lack thereof, for what it was: hurtful and ugly and so necessary for me to become the faithful person I am today.
They say once a cheater, always a cheater, but after my experience, I can say that phrase is patently false. Cheating on my boyfriend multiple times taught me invaluable, albeit painful, lessons in love and relationships, on adulthood and maturity, on growing up. My actions showed me that relationships take a lot of work, not just together, but within oneself. It can't be forced, it can't be rushed, and it can't be half-hearted. When it is, people — yourself, your partner, your loved ones — get hurt.
Cheating taught me that kind of hurt never quite goes away.
And it's a joyful, cooperative, work-product of both parents, XX and XY...
Mark 10:8-9
8 and the two will become one flesh.'c So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
NIV
I don't see anywere Scripture contradicts Natural Law where the governing of Human behavior is concerned . That's very interesting.
Most folks with common sense will read the owner's manual for their automobiles... -- But, some will still insist upon making up and followin their own rules when to do maintenance.
Change the oil... isn't that what the "Check Oil" light means in the movies? Doesn't the computer tell Scotty when to check the Enterprise's tire pressure? Isn't there an App for that?
really not that all difficult to do - by design, we think... and read the owner's manual / guide to healthy living.
Despite his maligned exercise with the scissors, Jefferson seems to have understood the same thing.
"FREEDOM IS A GIFT FROM _____"
Oh, yeah, the guys posting here are masters of reason, lol. In your dreams, bud.
Au contraire - Following the demoralized, feminized, herd has EVERYTHING to do with the success of Cultural Marxism.
The curricular endeavors of the Frankfurt School...
[The Architects of Western Decline:
A Study on the Frankfurt School and Cultural Marxism]
https://vid.me/UoQm#17m10s
...played a significant role in constructing the framework of collective psychosis (detachment from the reality of Natural Law) required by, and self-evident in, the strategic Demoralization described by KGB defector Yuri Bezmenov.
[Yuri Bezmenov: Psychological Warfare Subversion & Control of Western Society (Complete)]
>>And what’s with the “Molok hive” bit?
Molok, the Collective Machine (and object of collective worship) is just another face of the Techno-Utopian state-establishment described in Romans chapter 1, and elsewhere. Ba’al the Lord, Master, Possessor referenced throughout scripture, wasn’t a simple stone idol -- it was the collective STATE as an object of worship.
The Soviet Union’s Technocratic Utopia was an overt example of the same, repetitive, predictable (and thus profitable) flaw in Human nature.
Herbert Marcuse undoubtedly knew that - as his "analysis" performed its role in instigating the Cold War and fattening the Golden Calf while simultaneously subverting Western culture to render an easy slaughter.
What nonsense. That’s like saying Chaplin’s Modern Age is about feminism. It’s about 20th century mechanism/modernity in which the workers are exploited and degraded. I can certainly see Marxism in the movie - which was totally in vogue in European cities in the first decades of the century but you guys see feminism in every cultural image. It isn’t there.
>>And what’s with the “Molok hive” bit?
[’Moloch!’ clip from “Metropolis” 1927]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPNaaogT8fs
>>What nonsense.
“fallible and uninspired men [and women] have assumed dominion... setting up their opinions and modes of thinking as the only true and infallible”
>>I can certainly see Marxism in the movie
Marxism is just a formalization of flawed human nature... which is nothing new under the Aten:
[’Moloch!’ clip from “Metropolis” 1927]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPNaaogT8fs
Beats me....voiced you.
[Metropolis: Maria’s Transformation (1927)]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcReykfvqi4
A biblical analogy might be derived from that illustration.
The Bride of Christ vs.. who, or what?
Care to opine why the counterfeit "Maria" is enthroned under the pentagram/Baphomet?
Is there any doubt the spirit of anti-Christ, then and now, is positively charged when counterfeit-feminine members of the Body of Christ can be lured in to cheating on Her Husband?
Same Ol'
She's very young and immature, and I don't think she can say that meaningfully.
That's a very reasonable, common sense, healthy observation.
Meanwhile:
MILO Yiannopoulos (poster-boy of the alt-right according to the MSM) says “but there are certainly people who are capable of giving consent at a younger age”
Same thing Mr. P.I.E. is saying:
[60 Minutes Videos Special Investigation Spies Lords and Predators Pt 3]
https://youtu.be/IGHe636UBo0?t=45s
Hmm.
Try to talk sense about this movie. You sound like you watched it high.
Is this the only classic foreign film you know?
>>Try to talk sense about this movie.
Why is the counterfeit “Maria” enthroned under the pentagram/Baphomet?
It’s a perfectly reasonably question.
The early bits of Genesis are actually two different versions combined into one, with bits in the middle missing.
Lillith was there, later taken out and just stuck into oral tradition. She becomes something to be scared about...a demon who kills women in labor, a killer of babies and children, and yes, you could say an emissary of Satan .
Still and all, it is very true to life, nothing forced nor artificial about any of it.
Very well done. Do you remember Ruby’s final tart words that she was waiting for Hudson and Mrs. Bridges to croak so she could inherit their new seaside boarding house?!
Simon Langton, a colleague of my husband, (the son of David Langton i.e. Lord Bellamy) directed the penultimate episode with James’ suicide. He did a fantastic job.
FURY is also an amazingly good movie and quite an unsettling one to boot. But "M" is chilling ( sort of an early NOIR, before there was such a category )and Peter Lorre at his best/scariest/most haunted.
Have you ever seen "SCARLET STREET"? TCM is showing it in December and if you haven't seen it, you should.
"aught"...."AUGHT"? ROTFLMAOPIMP!
I may slip up, every now and again, here and let loose with a 50 cent word, which stumps the general poster; however, I refrain from using the more hoary and obtuse to most, words I know and understand how to use.
And I never claimed to know ALL European languages.
I'm NOT a big fan of C.S. Lewis, but yes, I have read and/or tried to read ( The Hobbit and TLOTR trilogy bored me to tears and I never could manage to get through those books; though I have enjoyed sci-fi books since I was 9 and read my first of many books by Robert Heinlein )quite a few of his books.
Psssssssssssssst...get over yourself; you aren't impressing anyone here with your bragging and superciliousness.
Yes, a two parent ( one male and one female, married to each other and the biological parents of said child/children ) home is THE best way to raise progeny, but it works best when they 1) actually do that job 2) have good morals and values and instill them in their children.
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