'Cheap sex' is making men give up on marriage

NY Post ^ | September 2, 2017 | Larry Getlan

[EdnaMode]

Thanks to cheap sex, marriage may be doomed.

The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.

Regnerus calls it “cheap sex,” an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.

Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you don’t even need relationships.

The result is “two overlapping (but distinctive) markets, one for sex and one for marriage, with a rather large territory in between comprised of significant relationships of varying commitment and duration,” Regnerus writes in “Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy” (Oxford University Press).

In generations past, women generally made men wait until marriage to have sex. To get a wife (and, therefore, sex), men had to be clean and presentable and have a good job. This, Regnerus reasons, gave men all the motivation they needed to become respectable members of society.

Now with porn on-demand and greater reproductive freedom, sex is a commodity available at any time. This has left men with little motivation for marriage, writes Regnerus, who cites demographer Steven Ruggles’ prediction that one of every three people in their 20s will never marry.

[Mrs. Don-o]

This is very interesting. Thanks for posting. BTW, what does “fap” mean?

[Darnright]

We live in interesting times. In looking at photos of everyday women of the ‘40s, just for example, the average ones were just that. Average. They weren’t hideous by any means, but the Garbo’s and fashion models were the exception.

And so it is, today. Looks are fleeting and the emotional stability and character of all individuals are valuable qualities, indeed.

From where I sit, we do children no favor in reading them fairy tales.

JMHO (c;

[Mrs. Don-o]

You sound like somebody who has been well ennobled by the Judeo-Christian culture. Probably due to your parents.

All the married men I have ever been really close to (father, brother, husband, son) regard their wives the same way: with respect as one adult to another, and a willingness to cooperate like civilized people, even through the rough patches, with the long horizon --- in fact, with God's Eternity --- always in mind.

You are a civilized man.

[Darnright]

Your tag line is perfect for this thread!

[Mrs. Don-o]

Thanks for this post. All of it. The picture of the abortion instruments looks menacing -— as it should.

[trisham]

I hear you.

[Architect of Avalon]

It is interesting that female church leaders are almost always pro-abortion and pro-gay.

[Architect of Avalon]

Women define it as they want men to define it.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Hard words but the truth hurts. Thanks for posting.

[wardaddy]

I have

No fooling

I’m guessing I’ve known more women sexually than you have

Just a wild guess

Women are weird

They are often attracted to what what they claim to be repelled by

Maybe it’s the apple snake thing

Or maybe I’m the devil

Don’t take me too seriously when I talk girls

But yes I have known some liked a swat

[miss marmelstein]

LOL! E-Harmony founder would commit suicide if this was the caliber of people looking for a wife!

[Architect of Avalon]

Many women believe that they can spend a decade or more acting like trollops with bad boys from bars and then, decrepit and infertile, be treated as pure prizes worth winning by rich and respectable men.

Naturally, men don’t view those women that way at all, and can afford to pursue women who have not ruined themselves instead.

[Biggirl]

A lot of those liberal women got helped out by a liberal men. It was liberal Christians who did great damage to a number of Christian churches.

[fireman15]

Until you stop helping her and giving her whatever she asks for, she won't have to fully live with the consequences of her actions.

She has been very independent from an early age... so she actually hasn't asked for a lot in recent years. She moved 2000 miles away last year after she married an older retired Army Ranger and we haven't heard a lot from her since. But she is like any child and she desires approval from her parents especially after her screw-ups. We have tried to let her know when we thought that she was making big mistakes, but she did what she wanted to anyway. But she is living with the consequences of her actions.

There simply is no way to get an accurate and detailed picture across in a forum such as this about relationships that have gone on for the better part of 40 years. So your perception of what we are doing wrong may not be very accurate.

We do not try to run her life even though from my point of view a woman with as much potential as she has should have done better. The same could probably be said of her father and her mother, so who are we to judge? But that is one reason why it is a good idea to have several kids which we did. And we all seem to be doing OK anyway.

[wardaddy]

Isn’t it strange really how true that is versus what our modern culture preaches

Men are raised to think women want and need so much nurturing and reassurance of the heart

But reality

Two things women want more

Security and to listen to them no matter how little congruency it may have to the logic bound heterosexual male ear

Men want sex and to be loved and loyalty

You can over tell or over demonstrate that you love her

It’s like how girls always liked the guy who was mean to them

[wardaddy]

It’s like of exercise

[Biggirl]

The reality is that it is the liberal male leadership that RUINED a quite a number of Christian churches. That is a fact.

[trisham]

No kidding!

[US_MilitaryRules]

Not mine! 33 years and counting. I have a great wife and she’s a hottie!

[Biggirl]

Telling it just like it is.