Posted on 09/03/2017 11:34:00 AM PDT by EdnaMode
Thanks to cheap sex, marriage may be doomed.
The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.
Regnerus calls it cheap sex, an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.
Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you dont even need relationships.
The result is two overlapping (but distinctive) markets, one for sex and one for marriage, with a rather large territory in between comprised of significant relationships of varying commitment and duration, Regnerus writes in Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy (Oxford University Press).
In generations past, women generally made men wait until marriage to have sex. To get a wife (and, therefore, sex), men had to be clean and presentable and have a good job. This, Regnerus reasons, gave men all the motivation they needed to become respectable members of society.
Now with porn on-demand and greater reproductive freedom, sex is a commodity available at any time. This has left men with little motivation for marriage, writes Regnerus, who cites demographer Steven Ruggles prediction that one of every three people in their 20s will never marry.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
Congratulations!
I’ve seen the bashing of independent women-and women in general by divorced guys who got a raw deal here before-but the assertion that a man is lord, master and commander of his woman is new to me-it reminded me of a website my compadre and employer and I ran across a couple of years ago-it came up under a key word when we were looking for type of water heater for a job-don’t remember what it was called, but it was devoted to male superiority and advised guys that if their women weren’t at their beck and call, totally obedient to their wishes en la camara and every other place, talked back/showed anger, etc, they should “chastise” her by scolding, sending to the bedroom without the dinner SHE cooked-it even advocated slapping or spanking-treated like indentured servants.
It was just weird-we both thought it was a polygamy or muslim sharia site-we were totally shocked to find it was not...
Even though MrT5 was in the military when he got divorced, he was given custody of his 2 kids-his ex was a stockbroker, but she never paid child support as ordered or used her visiting rights to spend time with her kids-there is no premium on bad behavior in divorces...
Don’t worry, Bob, she loves you for your Sharia-supporting big bucks...er, I mean, charm alone.
Be sure and be diligent about avoiding Eastern European and Russian mafia types when conducting your nuptial transactions. And don’t be surprised when Natasha wants to bring her very hunky “brother” to America.
Check out #177! He must be a delight on blind dates, lol.
That works!
Eventually, the feeling went from being like a ton of feathers to a ton of bricks...No “happy medium” was sustainable. I don’t think she knew how to act with somebody who wasn’t just using her. There wasn’t a lot I could do to help her but to say goodbye. She got a job in ‘97 at Chrysler as a forklift driver and was finally able to do something for herself on her own. However, she may not have lasted long there if it were not for her being a member of the UAW! I think they’ve probably had to save her from herself more than just a few times.
This thread Sure went Wierd!
You were lookin in the mirror sow. You lost it years ago....try a nursing home darlin
LMAO! Your post instantly brought the visual of Natasha saying “Boris-I don’t care how I get it so long as I get it” in a Bullwinkle ‘toon...
It sure did.
I have the same concerns about our society. It is more than just appearance, manners, civility and the ability for critical thought and rational discussion seems to be waning as well.
It is normal for people to get less active and put on weight as they age. When my wife and I came of age we didn't have all these electronic distractions, and exercising was a popular past time. She was a regional aerobics teacher champion and I was a bicycle racing state road champion. We assumed that our children would want to follow in our footsteps. But we were unable to get any of them very interested physical activity except for very specific purposes.
Our youngest child is 35. She covered herself with tattoos and got super fat. She has been married 3 times and lived with another guy for a couple of years. We could tell when she was going to be getting rid of her current man because she would start exercising and lose a lot of weight. She would also change her hair and makeup and start dressing nice.
She is very intelligent and actually managed to get a masters degree in accounting at the very top of her class. In all cases she has earned significantly more than her husbands. She has given us 3 wonderful grandchildren all of which her former husbands (who are all great guys) have custody of and she pays them support. She didn't fight for custody of any of the children. She doesn't seem like a bad mother, but it is kind of a weird role reversal and this situation is definitely hard on the children. And I often wonder how her example will affect them.
I have gotten a little side tracked but I think that all these computer and electronic distractions combined with a poor diet and almost complete lack of physical activity has made our young people fatter, and less attractive to one another. It probably negatively affects their libido as well. It does not surprise me at all that the rate of marriage for young men would be down.
I do not really buy the premises of the article all that "cheap sex" is however, because our youngest who is closest to the age group does not seem to have any problem at all finding young men to marry her. Admittedly, she probably understands how to use social media and how to pick out an eligible victim better than most. But there seem to be plenty of guys willing to marry her even with the baggage she brings along.
I have seen in the last week or two Americans helping other people or animals in a flooded American city. Things have been ramping up for the good.
The NORKS are talking a good game.
For someone has been married to the same woman for over 40 years I can only have an opinion based on observation of others. Obviously getting married in the seventies put me in a much different environment than nowadays.
I am however sure of this observation, the current generation of young women is certainly considerably plumper than the ones that I had to choose from back in the early seventies.
I view that pip as just another troll.
That CAN be true... but beating the ever-worsening odds of finding the right kind of woman, with the right kind of attitude, that can and will stay for the long run, and not turn punitive over time... the poor odds of winning that lottery mean it's just not worth the effort to many anymore.
(Been left in the crumbling dust 3 times, and not likely to try to build a 4th cathedral, just to watch it get demolished again for no real reason, and get no help in keeping it standing.)
Thankfully he is gone and we have a real leader now.
Yes, used to be an un-wed mother carried with it shame. . .nowadays being an unwed mother is a positive thing to be celebrated.
Yet the damage remains.....witness the L.S. Slimes “article” today on whether kindergartners should have “transgender” books.....
Oh, yeah. Some sickies came out of the woodwork, lol! But it always happens on these type of threads.
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