LAZ FINALLY TAKES A STAND ON THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR!

May 3, 2010 | By Laz

[Lazamataz]

I have finally taken a stand on the American Civil War. Read on!

[NicknamedBob]

And taking a deep breath ...

Blue Against The Gray

The battle rages onward; the Blue against the Gray!
No one can tell which side will be triumphant on this day!
For Blue was in ascendancy, when morning light arose,
But Gray has come a-gathering, and stands in silent rows.

The darkening skies brood menacingly, and evil seems afoot,
While all the azure bands have let their marching orders put,
Safe distance from the nemesis. They leave the field in haste.
No need before these numbers for their purity to waste.

Behold a view of constant Gray from East across to West,
No red is seen within the bands, and so, perhaps that’s best.
The Gray encampment settles in, and rain begins to fall.
No Blue is seen for miles around as if beyond a wall.

As darkness comes some light appears in flashes from the camp,
A sodden night of misery awash in constant damp.
By morning it has spent itself, and in the dark of night,
The Gray has slipped in silence from the field without a fight.

Beyond the hill appears the first of radiant Blue and Gold,
The army of the future guarantees it will unfold,
A calm and brilliant day unfurls as if emerging from a dream,
As sunshine bakes the moisture from the hill in wisps of steam.

The Blue will win the day today, but just before the night,
The clouds of disguised Grays will rise, like ships hove into sight,
And yet another battle from horizon to its brother,
Will silently unfold just as one day becomes another.

The Blues and Grays must struggle on forever, so it seems.
As sunshine burns the steam that falls as tears into the streams,
And weary crowds of stumbling ghosts trek onward as they must,
Until the last sad witness has surrendered to the dust.

NicknamedBob . . . . . . . . . . . . . . January 25, 2006

[darkwing104]

Whatever you decide to do...Just don't make eye contact. He's been taking lessons from the Hypnotoad...

[Lazamataz]

That has something to do with cats.

I can just feel the cats.

[NicknamedBob]

"That has something to do with cats. I can just feel the cats."

In the Universe of Lazamataz, Lysergic Acid Diethylamide is totally ineffective.

[Lazamataz]

You Northern Yankees, your philosophy sucks! You are filled with phlegm and bile, and hate for hate’s sake. Yankees should be all segregated and put in camps for orderly liquidation. I am more prepared to live through a hurricane than I am to listen to one more invective-filled syllable about your SO CALLED ‘Southern Uprising’ when it is SO CLEAR that your INBRED MORONIC ANCESTORS CAUSED IT ALL! If we could fight the Civil War again, I would equip the South with nuclear weapons and blast every one of you into subatomic particles! Lincoln was a TYRANT and DICTATOR and the war was all about STATES RIGHTS so just get over your peabrained little arguments to the contrary. It’s obvious that ALL the problems in America come from YOUR side’s mistakes. The War of Northern Aggression was started by YOUR side because of the Epic Fail of your states to come to terms with the concepts of the rights of States.

You commie libs, your philosophy sucks! You are filled with phlegm and bile, and hate for hate’s sake. Liberals should be all segregated and put in camps for orderly liquidation. I am more prepared to live through a hurricane than I am to listen to one more invective-filled syllable about your SO CALLED ‘CHANGE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN" liberal commie uprising, when it is SO CLEAR you are descended from the same INBRED MORONIC ANCESTORS that introduced the filth of communism that has destroyed nations. If we could fight Civil War II, I would equip our conservative states with nuclear weapons and blast every one of you into subatomic particles! "O" is a TYRANT and DICTATOR and is pushing us into a war all about our STATES' CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS, so just get over your pea-brained little arguments to the contrary. It’s obvious that ALL the problems in America come from YOUR side’s mistakes. The cold war between Libs and Conservatives' was started by YOUR side because of the Epic Failure of your party to come to terms with the concept of the United States Constitution.

You Southrons, your philosophy sucks! You are filled with phlegm and bile, and hate for hate’s sake. Southrons should be all segregated and put in camps for orderly liquidation. I am more prepared to live through a hurricane than I am to listen to one more invective-filled syllable about your SO CALLED ‘War of Northern Agression’ when it is SO CLEAR that your INBRED MORONIC ANCESTORS CAUSED IT ALL! If we could fight the Civil War again, I would equip the North with nuclear weapons and blast every one of you into subatomic particles! Lincoln was a GOD among men and the war was all about SLAVERY so just get over your peabrained little arguments to the contrary. It’s obvious that ALL the problems in America come from YOUR side’s mistakes. The Rebellion was started by YOUR side because of the Epic Fail of your states to come to terms with the concepts of the rights of people not to be slaves.

You Right-wing Terrorists,your philosophy sucks! You are filled with phlegm and bile, and hate for hate’s sake. Right wingers should be all segregated and put in camps for orderly liquidation. I am more prepared to live through a hurricane than I am to listen to one more invective-filled syllable about your SO CALLED ‘War for our Constitutional Rights.’ when it is SO CLEAR that your INBRED MORONIC ANCESTORS CAUSED IT ALL! If we could fight Civil War II, I would equip our socialist cause with nuclear weapons and blast every one of you into subatomic particles! Our "The One" is a GOD among men and this cold war is all about human equality for all, including our illegals, so just get over your pea brained little arguments to the contrary. It’s obvious that ALL the problems in America come from YOUR side’s mistakes. This Rebellion was started by YOUR side because of the Epic Fail of your party to come to terms with the concepts of the rights of ALL people, citizens or not, black or brown, Ahab or Mexican. (...and maybe some women who think like we do.)

You MAC guys, your computers suck! You are filled with phlegm and bile, and hate for hate’s sake. Mac Users should be all segregated and put in camps for orderly liquidation. I am more prepared to live through a hurricane than I am to listen to one more invective-filled syllable about your SO CALLED ‘Superior Operating System’ when it is SO CLEAR that your INBRED MORONIC STEVE JOBS BLEW IT ALL! If we could fight for market share again, I would equip Dell salesmen with nuclear weapons and blast every one of you into subatomic particles! Steve Jobs was a TYRANT and DICTATOR and his computer was all about overcharging for overengineered machinery so just get over your peabrained little arguments to the contrary. It’s obvious that ALL the problems in America come from YOUR companies mistakes. The crappy Mac trend was started by YOUR side because of the Epic Fail of your company to come to terms with the concepts of good development.

You Microsoft guys, your computers suck! You are filled with phlegm and bile, and hate for hate’s sake. PC Users should be all segregated and put in camps for orderly liquidation. I am more prepared to live through a hurricane than I am to listen to one more invective-filled syllable about your SO CALLED ‘Windows 7’ when it is SO CLEAR that your INBRED MORONIC BILL GATES BLEW IT ALL! If we could fight for market share again, I would equip Macs with nuclear weapons and blast every one of you into subatomic particles! Bill Gates was a TYRANT and DICTATOR and his software was all about monopolizing the software industry so just get over your peabrained little arguments to the contrary. It’s obvious that ALL the problems in America come from YOUR companies mistakes. The Blue Screen of Death was started by YOUR side because of the Epic Fail of your company to come to terms with error free software.

[OneWingedShark]

...given your mood, you should read this: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0ATyjMtQJe7iWZHY2OTh0bV8yN2htZnBzOWQy&hl=en

[BuckeyeTexan]

If they only knew how much we wished that were true ...

As my 14 year-old daughter would say: "I know, right?!"

[mstar]

Awesome

You know you may start a trend here. Really kinda therapeutic.

[happinesswithoutpeace]

kk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keb3AIK_TVQ

[Vigilantcitizen]

Moving to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
I`m moving to the country
I`m gonna eat me a lot of peaches

I`m moving to the country
I`m gonna eat a lot of peaches
Moving to the country
I`m gonna eat a lot of peaches

Peaches come from a can
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown

And if I had my little way
I`d eat peaches everyday
Sun soaked in bowls
Just in the shade

Moving to the country
I`m gonna eat a lot of peaches
Moving to the country
I`m gonna eat a lot of peaches

I`m moving to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Moving to the country
Gonna eat a lot of peaches

I took a little nap
Where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist

Top40db.com
Top40db.net
Top40db.org.

And dreamed about you woman

I poked my finger down inside
Making a little room for an ant to hide
Nature`s candy in my
Hand or can or pie

Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Look out

Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free
Look out

[dfwgator]

Great band.

[The Cajun]

OK, we're finally done with the civil war thing thanks to your efforts.
Perhaps now you can solve the Apple vs. PC thing.

[DollyCali]

ah! something to make everyone smile & scowl all within a minute!!!!

[grey_whiskers]

So, which is better, the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” or “Dixie’s Land”?

Absolutely!

How about "Maryland! My Maryland!":

I

The despot's heel is on thy shore,
Maryland!*
His torch is at thy temple door,
Maryland!
Avenge the patriotic gore
That flecked the streets of Baltimore,
And be the battle queen of yore,
Maryland! My Maryland!

II

Hark to an exiled son's appeal,
Maryland!
My mother State! to thee I kneel,
Maryland!
For life and death, for woe and weal,
Thy peerless chivalry reveal,
And gird thy beauteous limbs with steel,
Maryland! My Maryland!

III

Thou wilt not cower in the dust,
Maryland!
Thy beaming sword shall never rust,
Maryland!
Remember Carroll's sacred trust,
Remember Howard's warlike thrust,-
And all thy slumberers with the just,
Maryland! My Maryland!

IV

Come! 'tis the red dawn of the day,
Maryland!
Come with thy panoplied array,
Maryland!
With Ringgold's spirit for the fray,
With Watson's blood at Monterey,
With fearless Lowe and dashing May,
Maryland! My Maryland!

V

Come! for thy shield is bright and strong,
Maryland!
Come! for thy dalliance does thee wrong,
Maryland!
Come to thine own anointed throng,
Stalking with Liberty along,
And chaunt thy dauntless slogan song,
Maryland! My Maryland!

VI

Dear Mother! burst the tyrant's chain,
Maryland!
Virginia should not call in vain,
Maryland!
She meets her sisters on the plain-
"Sic semper!" 'tis the proud refrain
That baffles minions back amain,
Arise in majesty again,
Maryland! My Maryland!

VII

I see the blush upon thy cheek,
Maryland!
For thou wast ever bravely meek,
Maryland!
But lo! there surges forth a shriek,
From hill to hill, from creek to creek-
Potomac calls to Chesapeake,
Maryland! My Maryland!

VIII
Thou wilt not yield the Vandal toll,
Maryland!
Thou wilt not crook to his control,
Maryland!
Better the fire upon thee roll,
Better the blade, the shot, the bowl,
Than crucifixion of the soul,
Maryland! My Maryland!

IX
I hear the distant thunder-hum,
Maryland!
The Old Line's bugle, fife, and drum,
Maryland!
She is not dead, nor deaf, nor dumb-
Huzza! she spurns the Northern scum!
She breathes! she burns! she'll come! she'll come!
Maryland! My Maryland!


Cheers!

[MNJohnnie]

I think Laz is working on the Ginger/Maryann thing first.

[Vigilantcitizen]

Yes sir.

[mojitojoe]

[mojitojoe]

Grits suck? are you nuts? Hominy sucks. Grits with butter, slat and pepper, some bacon crushed in them, better than any ice cream you will ever eat. Hell, I can eat them cold.

[mojitojoe]

You obviously are eating instant grits.

[mojitojoe]

LOL, she does indeed.