A preacher was announcing a festival honoring one of the parishoners for celebrating an upcoming 50 year marriage anniversary.
When asked by the preacher how it was done, the man said that he took his wife to Hong Kong on their 25th anniversary.
And that he was going back to get her next week.
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An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The Doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things Are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the Doctor.
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied, "My point exactly.