Wow...now that is what psychologists call "projection." Here, let me give you a little advice...go drink your Capri Sun, suck on a few orange slices, then sit in front of your life-sized poster of RonaldoAlexeiPele and ... well, you're (allegedly) a grown up, so you will know what to do.
Just make sure you have Kleenex nearby.
I can see you're upset. Maybe your boyfriend will give you a sucker.