Posted on 11/15/2005 12:27:46 PM PST by granite
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Life's a bitch. Don't marry one.
Never Play Leapfrog With A Unicorn.
Goes with Antonello's post above...
I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving
BTW how are things?
Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.
There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't.
Who tested Preparation A - G, and why did they fail?
There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary, and those that do not.
They made lousy toothepaste.
I have a helmet sticker that says, "You Kid May Be An Honor Student, But You Are A Freaking Moron".
If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
HAHAHA! Great list. I may steal one of them now and again.
F**K Milk, Got Beer.
ping
I Think, Therefore We Have Nothing In Common.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Heavily Medicated For your Protection.
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead
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