[southernnorthcarolina]

Speaking of ugly, I saw a woman in the store last week who had a full goatee.

Are you sure you didn't see Nancy Pelosi after her latest facelift?

[Nik Naym]

A lady gets a new kind of face-lift where they implant a knob under the hair on her head. Whenever her face begins to sag, she just turns the knob to pull up the skin and smooth it out. The doctor warned her not to over use the knob. She calls the Dr. a few weeks later to complain "Dr., I have bags under my eyes now that won't go away!" The Dr. tells her to come in for an examination. Upon looking her over he says "Lady, those aren't bags under your eyes, those are your breasts, and if you don't stop playing with that knob, you're going to have a beard!"