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Your cheating heart
Gurdian ^ | 6/18/05 | Joanna Briscoe

Posted on 06/20/2005 5:16:51 PM PDT by pissant

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To: Motherbear
I've been around for a while, and I can tell you where the "can you be friends with the opposite sex" came from--women's magazines!

You really believe that don't you? Despite hearing how many of us have successfully kept m/f friendships over the years with no ill effects, you cling tenaciously to the belief that men and women can't be simply friends. I'm baffled.

121 posted on 06/21/2005 4:04:16 PM PDT by Melas (Lives in state of disbelief)
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To: Motherbear

COMMONSENSE is also knowing where to draw that imaginary line between being friends and wanting more..The smart person knows where that is and would hopefully make the right choice to not be friends with that person anymore.


122 posted on 06/21/2005 4:05:22 PM PDT by motormouth
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To: Rushgrrl
And up until about two years ago (when I got married!) I believed I could still "be friends" with my male friends...

I've been married a lot longer than you have, a lot longer, and I know for a fact I can be just friends with women. I have several female friends, and one in particular who I've mentioned who is like family to me. I think I'd be totally torqued if my wife up and decided I had to give up those friendships.

Also, just so we're clear, your spouse can't be everything to you. As a matter of fact, one of the quickest paths to divorce is predicated on placing that totally unfulfillable burden on your spouse. You need friendships, interests and contact outside of your spouse, not just for your sake, but your spouses sake as well.

123 posted on 06/21/2005 4:11:19 PM PDT by Melas (Lives in state of disbelief)
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Comment #124 Removed by Moderator

To: patton
Did you see 42?

Post or President?

125 posted on 06/21/2005 4:34:51 PM PDT by Doctor Stochastic (Vegetabilisch = chaotisch is der Charakter der Modernen. - Friedrich Schlegel)
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To: motormouth; Melas; All

People that engage in Outside affairs do it because of a problem or something that is lacking in a marraige it has nothing to do with having *Friends* being faithful and fidelity is not natural what is is that you make a commitment to someone and for religious reasons to practice monogamy....

Marraiges can grow stale, sour and dis-satisfying especially when there is no children in the house and your with someone who lacks the zest to keep a relationship worth wanting....I also think because women NOW work outside the home can take care of themselves are in good shape good health when they reach there 40's if they are with a man who is just sitting around boring them to death they leave..WHY? because in 2005 they now can and don't have to be in loveless marraiges like most of the women before them had to...


126 posted on 06/21/2005 4:49:21 PM PDT by missyme (Tell it like it is!)
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To: Doctor Stochastic

You tell me. at least one of them is interesting.


127 posted on 06/21/2005 4:58:10 PM PDT by patton ("Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write.")
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To: missyme

None of my girls work outside the house - I support them all...


128 posted on 06/21/2005 5:00:01 PM PDT by patton ("Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write.")
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To: missyme

A voice of reason....how refreshing.


:o)
btw: Stated perfectly!!


129 posted on 06/21/2005 5:02:42 PM PDT by motormouth
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To: patton

Well that's unforunate, becuae if your girls ever marry and for one reason or another they loose there husband through death or divorce will they be able to care for themsleves? there children? I am not a feminist but do we really need to go back to the lives of the Women of the 40's and 50's?


130 posted on 06/21/2005 5:07:18 PM PDT by missyme (Tell it like it is!)
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To: colorcountry

Consider your actions.

IF you truly wouldn't mind your spouse in exactly the same situation, it's probably not cheatin'.

Further, if it's something you don't want to let your spouse know about, it probably IS cheatin'.

P.S. If I were married, I wouldn't feel comfortable with my spouse chatting on the 'puter, one-on-one, with another woman. I believe it opens the door to compromise.

Lead us not into temptation.


131 posted on 06/21/2005 5:10:48 PM PDT by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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To: missyme

C'mom. lighten up. My wife has a MS/SpeD, which I paid for, and my daughter is 4.


132 posted on 06/21/2005 5:11:19 PM PDT by patton ("Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write.")
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To: patton

LOL...Yes I see now..


133 posted on 06/21/2005 5:13:02 PM PDT by missyme (Tell it like it is!)
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To: missyme
sorry...MS/SpED...

Got that wrong. What can I tell you, I rode the short bus.

134 posted on 06/21/2005 5:15:07 PM PDT by patton ("Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write.")
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To: motormouth
I have more male friends than female..I work with all women and can only take so much petty behavior. I have no desire to sleep with any of my male friends...Just like and appreciate being friends with them.

How do their wives feel about your friendships? I wonder how they REALLY feel. You might ask the friends to ask their wives; and get back to us with the answers.

Are you married?

:-)

135 posted on 06/21/2005 5:23:47 PM PDT by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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To: bannie

Some are married, some are not. The ones that are married have never said or made me feel they were uncomfortable. And if they are, I would certainly respect that, I may disagree, but would respect it.

See previous post for your answer. Sorry, I dont remember which one.

:o)


136 posted on 06/21/2005 5:29:10 PM PDT by motormouth
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To: bannie

Lead us not into temptation.

That is all around us 24/7 you need self control...

Jealousy from insecure partners cause a spouse from engaging into friendships with the opposite sex.

My husband travels most of the time 5 days a week from state to state it would really be easy for him to fool around or for that matter *me* but we choose not to and choose not to worry about it, if I had to worry about him sleeping around I wouldn't bother staying in the marraige.


137 posted on 06/21/2005 5:29:18 PM PDT by missyme (Tell it like it is!)
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To: bannie

#115


138 posted on 06/21/2005 5:29:52 PM PDT by motormouth
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To: missyme

One thing I definitely am NOT is jealous. I was when I was young, but I outgrew that one--thank God!

I just don't believe that it's wise for married people to establish close, personal relationships with members of the other sex. I believe that it tempts fate.

:-) But then, I'm not married.


139 posted on 06/21/2005 5:39:04 PM PDT by bannie (The government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.)
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To: Melas

how "many of you" that there really are that have had successful friendships "throughout" the years outside your marraiges still has yet to be seen. I've only seen maybe two or three of you discussing how easy it is and how it's really not a problem.


140 posted on 06/22/2005 8:42:23 AM PDT by Rushgrrl (~brought to you from the illegal-rich state of California~)
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