It sounds like MM wrote this on the down side of a mixture of some very bad drugs.
To tell you the truth, I would not be at all surprised to hear that he commits suicide in the near future.
And as hard hearted as I am, I would not be sorry to hear it.
Keep in mind that the average life expectancy of a homosexual man is 42 years and they have a 99% mortality rate by age 60 so you may not have long to wait in either case.