They have a teenaged son still living at home who has already been in trouble with the law.
Don't know what kind of person she is, but leaving home at this time would be totally unacceptable. Just my opinion!
Judy Steinberg Dean, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate Howard Dean, doesn't accompany him to coffees or town meetings or rallies.
She's never been to Iowa, and doesn't catch the daily political spin on CNN - since the Deans don't have cable TV at their Vermont home.
Instead, Judy Dean continues to lead her life much as usual in Burlington, working as a physician in a small but busy medical practice and looking after the Deans' son, Paul, a senior in high school.
That's where she plans to stay, even as Iowa's first-in-the-nation presidential caucuses a little more than a month away mark a crucial juncture in her husband's race for the presidency.
"I love my practice and I have a commitment to my practice - I can't just leave my patients," Judy Dean, an internist, said in a recent interview with The Des Moines Register. It was one of the few she's given since her husband, also a physician, vaulted to the top tier of the nine-candidate field in the race for the nomination.
"That's my job, and Howard sees it that way, too," she said. "I don't plan on traveling unless I absolutely have to, just because it would really disrupt my practice, my life, my son left at home - that would be really difficult."
Whatever a campaign spouse does, the role in 2003 is as important - and delicate - as ever, experts say.
Notably, none of the Democratic candidates is proclaiming a "two for the price of one" partnership like Bill and Hillary Clinton in 1992.
"They learned from the Clintons that's a phrase you want to avoid," said Myra Gutin, a professor of communications at Rider University in Lawrenceville, N.J., who has written a book on first ladies.
Most of the candidates' wives do maintain a schedule at least some of the time, either alongside the husband or in his place, such as Hadassah Lieberman, Jane Gephardt, Elizabeth Edwards or Teresa Heinz Kerry. The only woman running for president, Carol Moseley Braun, is not married. Another candidate, Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich, is conducting a search on his Web site for his future first lady.
Dianne Bystrom, director of the Carrie Chapman Catt Center for Women and Politics at Iowa State University, said that a political campaign's two most pressing needs are time and money, and spouses can be very helpful with both. They stand in as surrogates at public events or fund-raisers.
"That doesn't mean a campaign can't be successful without a spouse," Bystrom said.
While voters expect to hear from a candidate's spouse, they are likely to be sympathetic with one who's a physician with patients to care for, Bystrom predicted. "She might actually get some points," she said.
Judy Dean emphasized that she fully supports her husband's quest for the nomination, even if she's not crossing Iowa and New Hampshire with him. She recently sent out a fund-raising letter on his behalf.
She grew up in Long Island, N.Y., the daughter of two physicians. Her mother, a pediatrician, worked in clinics that wouldn't require night calls so she could be with her children. "She was a great role model," Dean said.
Dean, who uses her maiden name of Steinberg in her medical practice, was a good student. Adept at math and science, she majored in biochemistry at Princeton University. Her parents encouraged her to try medical school.
She met Howard Dean when they were both doing the New York Times crossword puzzle during a less-than-riveting lecture at Albert Einstein Medical College in New York City. His residency was in Vermont, and she moved to the state to join him when she graduated in 1979.
They built a practice with another physician, each working part time so they could share in child care and accommodate Howard Dean's political life. He quit when he became governor in 1991 after the death of Gov. Richard Snelling.
There's no governor's mansion in Vermont, and the demands of the first lady of Vermont were not onerous, Judy Dean said. "I think the governor's wife here can do as much as she wants," said Dean. "Howard and I limited it to the inauguration and stuff like that."
Now, she is in a practice with two other physicians. She sees many elderly patients and works 40 to 50 hours a week, including house calls and paperwork. At home, she likes to read, bike, swim for exercise and attend her son's school events.
Her husband's decision to run for president was gradual, as he became more concerned about the direction the country was taking, she said.
"He didn't ask me whether he should run or not, because that's not something I really think about, whether it's a good idea for him to run," she said. "We did discuss how it would affect the family and whether we could handle it or not."
She is well aware that the veil of privacy over her family's life will lift even further if her husband succeeds.
National attention fell on the Deans' son when he and four friends were charged with burglary in connection with a break-in at a country club storage shed; he has since entered a court diversion program.
Besides Paul Dean, the Deans have a daughter, Anne, 19, a student at Yale University.
"I really think I know who I am - I'm not perfect," Judy Dean said. "I know who Howard is. I think he's a terrific, honest guy. People are going to say bad things. The most important thing to me is to make sure the children are prepared for that."
If her husband is elected president, she said she would try to continue working in Washington. "I'd certainly do something in medicine. Whether it would be a private practice, whether it would be in a clinic, I haven't looked that far ahead," she said.
Gutin said the demands on a first lady are huge, though a staff comes with the position. As for continuing to practice medicine, "if you can delegate some responsibility, it's a possibility," she said. "If Dr. Dean does it, it's going to be groundbreaking."
Bystrom said she has discussed with other political scientists how the television show "The West Wing," in which the fictional president's wife is a physician, could influence the Deans if he is elected president.
The show could be an aid in gaining public acceptance for Judy Dean to continue her career, Bystrom said, as television or movies"shape our expectations of what real people's roles should be."
But for now, Dean is carving out her own life independent of her husband's bid, without even discussing politics when they do have their limited time together these days.
She does have an opinion about Howard Dean as president, though.
"He's extremely smart, he's very honest and straight-forward and I think people like that, and he has a lot of good ideas and he's done a lot of good up here," she said. "I would certainly vote for him. I can't see why anybody else wouldn't."
The wife's smile strikes me as real. Next to her, his smile is so blatantly plastic that it's frightening. Some wise handler probably told him he looks more credible without her nearby.