A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped a genie.
"I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch."
"What catch?" the man asked.
The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted."
"Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asked the genie.
"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?"
"I'd love a million dollars," replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars," said the genie.
"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the man.
"What is your third and final wish?"
The man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney!"
This just in from JustFrank...
Morris, as a young man in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter
alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who
had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. So Morris
walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up
and down and said,
"I have a suggestion that is sure to help."
"Tell me, tell me," said the young man.
"Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
"Definitely," said the old man.
Young Morris did what he was told and drew his gun and shot the bow tie off
the piano player. "Wow, that really helped. Do you have any more
suggestions?"
"Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits,
the gun will come out smoother."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
"It sure will," said the old man.
The young guy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot a cufflink off
the piano player.
"This is really helping me. Is there anything else you can share with me?"
"One more thing," said the old man. "Get that can of axle grease over there
in the corner and rub it all over your gun."
The young Morris didn't hesitate but started putting the grease on the gun.
"No, the whole gun, handle and everything." Said the old man.
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
"No," said the old man, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that piano
he's going to shove that gun up your a$$, and it won't hurt as much."