How do you handle close friends who are as opposed to the war as you are for the war?

04/07/03 | JohnDinLA

[JohnDinLA]

So at a reunion with a bunch of college buddies - a very close-knit group of friends - the conversation, of course, turned to the war and current events. I was shocked to learn that they were not on the same side as I am and they even got quite upset at my position.

Of course when I asked what my one friend (who I actually knew wasn't on my side - he's a life long socialist) what he had against Dick Cheney, he said he was shady. When I asked how, he said Enron. When I asked what he had to do with Enron he said Haliburton. when I asked what he had to do with Haliburton, he said he didn't really know, but that didn't change his stance and he still thought I was crazy for liking Dick Cheney (who, in my opinion, knows more than anyone else in the administration).

They were saying I was stupid for "believing" that the Florida election debacle was anything but a Bush conspiracy, and on and on.

How do you deal with this type of situation? These are very close friends, but none of us are ones to just keep quiet and ignore something like this. Of course we let this slide for the time being, but this isn't about to just go away...

I'm sure this has happened to many other people, and its even happened to me with other friends, but they were not so quick to jump on me and we agreed to disagree.

So any suggestions? Anyone else run into this? And if so, I'm guessing you too are in California. All these friends are from San Fran and Seattle... go figure.

[Texas Eagle]

Sounds to me like you handled it just right.

[supercat]

"We'll just have to see what pans out." If you turn out to be right, though, don't rub their noses in it. They'll eventually figure out that your predictions seem to have a habit of being right.

[SouthernFreebird]

Git a rope!

[RogueIsland]

I had the same problem a few days ago with an old college friend. He started in on a rant about how Bush thinks this is "a war for God" and how the U.S. media is completely controlled by the government, blah blah blah -- the whole DU schtick.

I just politely told him that I really didn't wish to discuss the war as I get enough war discussion at work and outside of work. Maybe that was taking the easy way out, but given the nature of his point of view, it was clear there wasn't going to be any reasoning with him. Sometimes you just have to give a perplexed shrug and move on.

[cardinal4]

I laugh at people and say they condone rape. That usually gets them animated. Then I start the stories of Uday and 12 years of appeasement......

[Micah]

With friends like that who needs enemies? I have the same problem with some guys I work with.Democrats to the core you cann't debate with them they have no logical sense in what they say.I chuck it up to, they are blind to the truth.And I can get in a fester trying to get them to understand.Be thankful what you stand for is right and just and call it like it is don't agree to disagree.You can also see them as dead men walking.Pray for them is the only thing you can do.May God have mercy on thier souls.

[Atlas Sneezed]

I would just ask if they would have supported the war on Nazi Germany. If so, ask them to help you understand the diffeence.

Don't argue, just ask for their views.

[Feiny]

I just spoke with a high school friend who is now mid 30's and she was telling me that she was dating a (GASP) christian republican! She said how shocked she was that she (a liberal) would be doing such a thing. I asked her if she was absolutely sure she was a liberal. I asked her how she felt about taxes. She said that she didn't mind paying taxes...that compared to Europe, we pay very little. I knew I was about to go into a long speech and we had spoken in about 2 years so I tried my best to shorten the politcal talk. But, I followed up with an email that linked to a test you can take to determine your political views. I am confident that she is not a liberal....she only thinks that because she lives in San Francisco. She is ex-Air Force and not against the war. I also sent her a list of things she had to "believe" in order to be a liberal today.

[Feiny]

Make that had NOT spoken in 2 years....

[Scenic Sounds]

I'd suggest that you try to do whatever you can do to prevent politics from interfering with your friendships.

We've got family, friends, neighbors and acquaintances who are all over the political spectrum. Of course, political conversation just has to be avoided with some folks, particularly those who take their politics very seriously and have somehow managed to insulate themselves from other points of view. With them, you just have to stick with things that you do have in common.

Personally, I enjoy exposing myself to a wide range of political viewpoints and I enjoy trying to understand what accounts for the political differences between people. It's never worth really fighting about, though. Try to keep it fun and remember, what difference will it make in 100 years? LOL (actually, ROFL)