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I normally never post jokes because usually I'm the only person in the world who hasn't heard it...but here goes:

Before the inauguration, George Bush was invited to a get-acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. George was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal.

That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said," when I am President, I'll get to have a gold urinal!"

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who pissed in your saxophone.

579 posted on 03/07/2003 1:51 PM CST by Cuttnhorse

Good one.

Here's a strange but true story.
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, the
president, Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal
complications of a bizarre death.

Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald
Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The
decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to
commit suicide. He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun
blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the
shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed
just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers
and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the
way he had planned.

Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit
suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be
what he intended" is still defined as committing suicide. That Mr. Opus
was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below at street level,
but the suicide attempt probably would not have been successful because
of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a
homicide on his hands.

The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated
was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing
vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so
upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and
the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus. When one intends
to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of
the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge, the old
man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the
shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was his long standing habit to
threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to
murder her. Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident,
that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old
couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal
accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's
financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the
shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his
father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part
of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed
that the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent
over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This
led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be
killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The
son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed
the case as a suicide. Very tidy of him.

--A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervelt