[LisaAnne]

Oil Shortage:

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in the USA. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.

The reason for this is purely geographical. All the oil is in Alaska, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Wyoming, etc.

All the dipsticks are in Washington, DC.

[lodwick]

Bad Day for Golf

Every Saturday morning he has an early tee time. He gets up early and eager,
golfs all day long, sometimes 36 holes.

Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his clubs
out of the closet and goes to his car to drive to the course.

Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; it is a torrential downpour.
There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. He
returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the
weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he
puts his clubs back into the closet, quietly undresses and slips back into
bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out
golfing in that shit?"

[operation clinton cleanup]

All the dipsticks are in Washington, DC.

LOL! You got that right!