[Darksheare]

The sky eyes are waiting for me to go outside, so that they can get me with their laser death rays!
And even my cat is in on it, she's spying on my every move.. Luckily I locked her in her room, hopefully she doesn't have any communications equipment in there.

I need a boat, it's raining here enough to flood.
And I'm swimming...

[lodwick]

Way too decent a joke not to share:

One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go
out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his
wonderful new son.

Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did
everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn't stop crying.

Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the
doctor.

After the doctor listened to the father all that he had done to get the
baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest
and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.

"Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs a change."

The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good
for up to 10 lbs.!"