Who left the dimensional door open? - Thread 031

Online News ^ | 1/29/2002 | Unknown

[grannie9]

ohhhhhhhhhh.. we don't need any more drunkin chickens do we? Or even Italian Sausage..

[Kathleen]

You never told us any stories about Italian sausage, Gran...

[lodwick]

This could be the Italian sausage story, or not:

A firefighter was telling his new wife the rules of the house and what he expected. He told her that if he said "ding", she was to meet him upstairs and they would make love. If he said "ding, ding", she was to run upstairs and they would make love. And if he said "ding, ding, ding", she was to drop whatever she was doing, run upstairs, and they would make love all night long.

One day, she was ironing his uniform, when she heard "ding, ding, ding" from upstairs, so she stopped ironing, ran up the stairs, ripped off her clothes, and started to make love to her husband.

Halfway through, she stopped him, and said "ding, ding, ding, ding!!" With a puzzled look on his face, he asked "what does that mean?"

To which she replied, "I NEED MORE HOSE!!"

[grannie9]

No?.. omgoodness.. I'll have to remember that sometime..but not tonight.. I need my wits about me for that one.. ;)

[grannie9]

LOL LOL.. you sick puppy..

[Kathleen]

ROTFL!

[grannie9]

I don't know about you, but I have these all copied.. I'll try not to send them to you.. lol

[lodwick]

One more and I MUST stoppit:

A married man and his secretary were having an affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain thier passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making love.

When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking up until 8 o'clock. They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did, but was very confused.

The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she asked where he'd been. The man replied, "I canot tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."

The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes and yelled, "I can see those grass stains on your shoes. You liar! You've been playing golf again, haven't you?"

[Kathleen]

I have them copied too, and won't care if you send duplicates..lol. :-)

[grannie9]

Yep.. lol. I got it..

[lodwick]

Here's a link to those jokes, and more

Do a google search for sexy jokes and stand back from the monitor...

[grannie9]

You know something woman, I think we need a life.. At least you do.. rotflmao..

I'm going to bed now.. My yob is done for the day, and I can rest easy..

I have been a really good girl today.. I can't vouch for the old woman tho.. ;)

[grannie9]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh sexxxy jokes. I always leave the word sexxy out..

No wonder all mine suk.. ;)

[lodwick]

The fireman joke is tough to top...so to speak.

[grannie9]

GOOD NIGHT MR. CALABASH...!!!! WHEREVER THE HECK YOU ARE...

[Kathleen]

Y'all are too much for me. I wore myself out laughing. ;-) Have a great evening, guys. Catch you at some point tomorrow. :-)

[grannie9]

You have the worst links of anyone I know. You really should be shot!

Go to your room.. now.. ;)

[grannie9]

Night Kath.. I'm heading to the horizontal slab too. See you sometime tomorrow.

Oh oh.. Al's getting into the ice cream...

[Darksheare]

I'm out there, somewhere. In the dark. Waiting.
Stealthy movements by the Ficus are half-seen,, then vanish....

[lodwick]

Nice hot sausages

Ladies choice tonight

lodwick, please start readying yourself for bed. Please