It's as if parents think they're guilty of abuse if there is another kid in the classroom with the same name as theirs." The real child abuse is in saddling your poor, defenseless child with a name they'll hate (and/or be teased for) all their life -- just because you, the parent, think it's cute or funny.
BTW, I had breakfast at a truck stop recently, and the juke box played Johnny Cash's rendition of "A Boy Named 'Sue:" several times... ;-{
My wife has been an elementary spec ed teacher for many years and has collected a number of great names. There have been not one, but two Shitheads (Shi-THEE-id and SHI-theeid) several Placentas, this year there is a Tyvek (like on the new house insulation). Female(fee-molly)seems to be an established traditional name now; there is at least one in the school every year. The all time best is Nyquil Neosynepherin which was apparrently taken straight from the bottles. He goes by Nikee and has been back to visit a couple of times since he was in my wife's class. And there are the various rural Stubbs families here and in South Georgia that seem to have a penchant for naming first sons Seegar in various spellings.