Lincoln's message to Pickens stated that the resupply attempt would be food only, and if no resistence was made then arms and reinforcements would not be landed without prior notice so long as the fort was not attacked. Obviously if the attempt to land food was resisted then that was an attack on the fort and the reinforcements would be landed. No deception, no lies, everything was laid out for Pickens beforehand. Likewise the message that Wells gave the fleet commander which was posted in reply 432. The primary mission of the expedition was resupply with arms and men to be landed in the event of southern opposition. The same message was sent to Major Anderson, supplies only with reinforcements landed if the supply mission was opposed. The intention was clear.
They contained explicit instructions on how to fight their way in over the inevitable confederate refusal to allow them entry.
So what you are saying is that war was inevitable since Davis was looking for an excuse to begin it?
I would say that if Davis wanted to remain in his position as head of the rebelling provinces, he absolutely had to demonstrate resistance to the "invading Yanks." A wiser--or less desperate--man would have practiced forbearance. Who knows what would have happened? Would reconciliation have been likely? Perhaps, but without the resistance to unilateral secession that the Union displayed, we certainly would have split long ago, and would have been perpetually doomed to the intracontinental squabbles that has plagued Europe for all of recorded history.
Of course, this is all speculation based on the little I know of Confederate politics of the time, but living apart from those times and given the gift of hindsight, it seems reasonable.