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I have been trying to negotiate a separation.

Instead of a divorce? If so, then good for you. However, for the sake of the kids (you mentioned you had two small children) try not to make it more than a couple of weeks.

Also consider your church. I don't know what religion you are (or even if you have one), but never discount the ability of the Deity who created you to renew your spirit as well as that of your mate. It might take years to do so, but if you never give up it will happen. I have seen a vast number of marriages that "can't be fixed" be fixed; and I've never seen one fail when those in the marriage refuse to give up.

I am afraid I am at the point of needing a lengthy separation. We have been separated for shorter periods of time. My husband has some severe characer flaws that I have not been able to overcome and accept. I have been trying to work with and negotiate a life with my husband for the past four years, since our marriage, lifestyle and chidlren were first placed in jepordy. I am exhausted and need a break. I forsee that our separateion may become permenent.

You ask good questions. I have been in Godly couneling and in prayer. I am part of a loving group of Christians who have been giving me counsel and guidance and much prayer. We have been in counseling with people who have been committed to helping us put our marriage together. I will remain in counsleing as long as it takes until the marriage is fully dead, a negotiated companionship, or revived.

But after many years of living a life that is alone I am also wondering whether there will be a future for me without my husband.