Big'ol went through that retirement nightmare recently. He had this sergeant who was supposed to make all sorts of appointments for him at the various out-processing points. Poor Big'ol would arrive for his appointments only to be told that he wasn't scheduled at all. Add to that each point was horrendously disorganized and didn't seem to know what to do when he did get the appointment straightened out. You'd think he was the first officer in the history of the Army to retire in the DC area. His hope of out-processing "in a couple of days" turned into a multi-week mess.
Oh dear. I would recommend a quieter, classier exit. It won't be easy, but I think it is the right thing to do... you know... for the wife and kids' sake.
When is your last day exactly?