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What a beautiful way to express how we find comfort not only from God, but also from others who love you. My boys have shown great courage and strength from this ordeal, and I am so proud of them. At 8 and 6, they have taken on the role of "comforter". People sometimes say that some children have "old souls". I believe with all my heart that Mark is one of them. You know, he told me the other day that if I ever needed to talk, I could come to him. He told me that Jesus would never leave me and that "PopPop" is all around us. Where do they get such wisdom at that age? Michael does things for me that I used to have to BEG him to do...sets the table, puts his clothes in the hamper, reads to me, hugs me. He drew a picture for me the other day that touched my heart. It was a picture of me and my Dad. I was on the ground waving "goodbye" to my father...and my father had angel wings as he hovered over me. He wrote next to my Dad's picture: "Don't worry...I'm only this far away." They also told me that even though I couldn't call PopPop on the phone, all I had to do when I wanted to talk to him was just talk..."like we do with Jesus, Mommy. Just because we can't see him doesn't mean he isn't there....we know Jesus is in Heaven, and so is Pop. So just talk."

I think I have 2 beautiful angels of my own. You're right...I don't think that until you have gone through it personally that there is any possible way to explain how much it hurts. I was not prepared for the pain I am feeling right now. Whenever it gets really bad, I say what Fr. John told me to say: "Jesus, I trust in you." I say it over and over and over until I get through it.

Thank you so much for your prayers, your thoughts, your understanding and your love. I am blessed in very many ways...my friends here who just let me rant, listen to my feelings and keep my world a little brighter just when I feel like I can't get through another hour. When my father died, part of my heart died with him. I am lucky to have had such a wonderful father who left all of us with so many good memories.

I am also blessed to have all of you here. :-) (((hugs))) Deej