I told you I was too far along to make the drive to your mothers for Christmas, but nooooo, "Get on the donkey Mary, I know a shortcut and we'll be there in plenty of time".
Your family is living in an effing cave. What are they, hobbits? Are you sure you don't have Orkish blood somewhere?
These cousins of yours are animals and I don't want them anywhere near the baby, do you understand me? And why are the guys all in drag? Why do I hear "Duelling Banjos"?
So9