[ Daily Tolkien / Lord Of The Rings ] Every Time A Bell Rings A Balrog Gets Its Wings?

GREEN BOOKS – The One Ring ^ | August 01, 2001 | William Roper

[JameRetief]

Your Daily Tolkien Ping!

Coming from many sources, these articles cover many aspects of Tolkien and his literary works. If anyone would like for me to ping them directly when I post articles such as this let me know. Enjoy!

[JameRetief]

The Daily Tolkien articles:

1) Who was Tom Bombodil? by Gene Hargrove

2) Celeborn Unplugged by Michael Martinez

3) Speaking of Legolas... by Michael Martinez

4) A Bit of Light: Visions and Transformations of the Ring Quest by Cara J. Loup

5) Them Dwarves, Them Dwarves! - Part One and Two by Michael Martinez

6) Something wicked this way comes by Michael Martinez

7) Men Are From Gondor, Women Are From Lothlórien by Anwyn

8) By this sword, I rule! by Michael Martinez

9) Ferthu Theoden Hal! by Michael Martinez

10) Every Time A Bell Rings A Balrog Gets Its Wings? by William Roper

[HairOfTheDog]

LOL! - Thanks for the laughs in title.... about one year ago today, waiting for FoTR to come out, we were in heated debate on the question of Balrogs having wings!

Member of the "Balrogs most definately have wings" society...

[Argh]

Pssst! Miss Hair! They also smell bad.

:^)

[HairOfTheDog]

Balrogs smell bad?

Well, I suppose they would! Never thought about it. What is the smell like? - I am thinking of a big sauna at a bad health club. heat and sweat.

[Argh]

They smell like orcs, only more sulphurous.

(Please note the enormous self-control displayed by not tossing any sort of obscene Hillary joke in here...)

[ecurbh]

Ring Ping!!

[HairOfTheDog]

They smell like orcs...

But I have never smelled an orc.

[Argh]

Be grateful.

[Argh]

I shouldn't be so flip, sorry. Orcs smell like a mixture of ammonia, skunk, sweat, and vomit. Which is why Tolkien never got too specific about it.

Add some really pungent sulphurousness and viola, er, voilà, balrog!

[HairOfTheDog]

Thank you so much. ;~D

[Argh]

Dear Miss Hair,

You're probably wondering how I know all this. Well, Miss SeaDragon came to visit me a few months ago. The white-person-flesh-coloured makeup fooled her. She even Took a picture (bad joke attempt with the Took, there). Take a look at this, and imagine black skin. Be warned, it's scary.

Your friend,
Argh the Orc.

[HairOfTheDog]

Aww... you aren't an orc. You look like a hobbit!

I have seen some cute orcs though.

[Argh]

Cute orcs? Bah! Humbug! No such thing.

My feet aren't hairy enough for a hobbit, but you're very kind.

[HairOfTheDog]

Mixed ancestry has led to many of us not having the hairy feet of our forefathers.

I think this orc is kinda cute...

[Argh]

I think this orc is kinda cute...

Oh, well, sure, if you like that sort of thing...

[HairOfTheDog]

Well, just keeping my options open

I'm not getting any younger.

[Argh]

Hahahahahaha... YIKES!!

But an orc? I've heard of wearing your heart on your sleeve, but that guy wears his personality on his face!

Well, good luck, Miss Hair! To each her own.

What's a nice girl like you doing with an orc like that...

[HairOfTheDog]

[snicker!]