If you were a guy I'd say you really DO need to learn to restrain yourself from DICK. But since you're not a guy I won't even mention it.
I'm a little worried about Pitt being able to beat Miami. You're a lawyer who went to Pitt, but they don't seemed to have trained you well for lawyerly stuff. You've spent the day punching up felt and picking up kids. Actually, getting felt up and punching the kids sounds like more fun. But neither sounds very lawyer-like, and if that's the sort of lawyer Pitt puts out (!), I'm not very sanguine aboot what kind of football team they're likely to greet the Candycanes with.
:^)