I have one daughter, who is retarded, autistic, extremely hyperactive and has a sezuire disorder. Because of the autism she had major behavior problems. She's 23 years old now and still lives at home. Me and my hubby have worked extremely hard to get her where her behavior is managable and where she understands things and can do things for herself. The work paid off. She's a good loving kid. She's still a work in progress, but, then again aren't we all? After raising her, a normal child would have been a piece of cake.
And by the way, don't confuse compassion, understanding and love with someone who's a push over. You can't raise a child like this and be a push over, let me tell you.
Sorry to hear your story. You do have a very special case. I really respect those that devote themselves to their special children. The ones I can't take are those that abandon there children, as this father has done.
My youngest stepchild (he calls me dad and I call him son), who I love dearly is now a missonary in Uruguay. I can't wait for him to come home for a while next summer, on his way to A&M or BYU.
There's a special place in Heaven for you.