Posted on 11/12/2002 4:36:35 PM PST by Genesis defender
This is my first article posting, so I hope I do this right.
I am desperate. My world as I know it is falling apart. Last Thursday morning my wife told me I have until January 1st to move out. She is kicking me out because of many things, but I will list as many as I can recall.
She has good reason to give me the boot. We have been married for five and a half years, and before we were married I promised her that I would take care of her and support the family so she could stay home. Unfortunately, I have a huge problem with following through on my promises.
For five years I have made similar promises of getting a job, looking for a job, and just doing chores around the house. I tried for a time, but eventually slid back to my typical behavior of procrastinating. I have held various jobs throughout this time, but none were well-paying enough to support a family.
To make things worse, I had an addiction that prevented me from doing constructive things with my time. Please don't laugh when I tell you what I was addicted to. It was video games. I would play at times six to eight hours a day during periods of unemployment.
Two Saturdays ago, my wife first told me she had been thinking of kicking me out, and at that point I did something I should have done years ago. I asked her to come into our computer room, collected all of my computer game CDs (close to 30 in all), and I broke all of them.
I thought that had been enough for the time to prevent me getting kicked out. But I was wrong.
Complicating things is the fact that we have a two and a half year-old son together. I love that little boy a whole bunch, but I haven't provided properly for either him or his mommy like a husband and man should.
I have been an awful human being towards my wife. I have had her hopes up, then dashed so many times. She has told me she likes me as a friend and our son's father, but she says she no longer loves me as a husband.
She has also told me she doesn't know what she wants me to do that would make her love me again.
We are separating, not divorcing (for now). She told me the ONLY reason she has not divorced me is because she is a Christian.
So I am asking for two prayer requests:
First, that the Lord will heal my crumbling marriage by fundamentally changing my habits and healing my wife's broken heart. I have frantically been trying to change, but I want this time to be permanent.
Second, that God would help me find a job to support myself by Jan 1st. I so desperately want to prove to my wife that I can support myself and be a Godly man for once in my life.
Someone please help me.
For five years I have made similar promises of getting a job, looking for a job, and just doing chores around the house. I tried for a time, but eventually slid back to my typical behavior of procrastinating. I have held various jobs throughout this time, but none were well-paying enough to support a family.
A family member of mine went through the same thing several years ago. He was downsized, after 20 years. After that, he spent a lot of time at home, in his sweats, watching tv. He would try to find work, but he'd often not return calls, blow off interviews, and if actually did get the job, he'd quit after a few days.
After a while, his wife did grow weary of it, and encouraged him to see a doctor. He had gone from being a put together, driven guy to a virtual shut in. She was convinced it was more than laziness.
Turned out he was suffereing from clinical depression, which, did run on their side of the family. It was brought out by his layoff/firing/company reorganization. A few months of therapy, a year of the lowest dosage of Celexa possible, and now he is back on his feet.
I am not normally a "counseling" advocate, but having a knowlegeable and loving third party invoved is crucial. Do it ASAP. Make the call first thing in the morning. You can work through this.
Also, get on your knees and pray tonight. Pour out your heart to God. He can work miracles in a marriage. I know--He worked a tremendous miracle in mine. My marriage was OVER. Finito. But God somehow put it back together and it is better than ever. He will do it for you, too.
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