I just talked to my Mom a little while ago...the doctor did a biopsy on Friday on what they thought was a "hematoma" between his neck and shoulders. They went back today to get the results and they were not good. It is a cancerous tumor. So now he has two tumors to battle with instead of one. The oncologist also told him that because it was a tumor and not a "hematoma", he is now in the Stage IV category, which means it has begun to spread and is the last and final stage of the large cell cancer. They are going to start him on radiation therapy this Wednesday and he will be going in for the radiation 5 days a week for 7 weeks, and see if that will shrink the tumor. I am not sure if they will be doing the radiation on both of them or just the one on his neck/back, but I would think that since they are no longer going to do chemo, they will use it on both tumors.
My mother is very upset (naturally) because this came as a complete shock because 4 doctors looked at the catscan and said "hematoma", and so naturally they did not think too much of it, since the oncologist told him on Friday that the "biopsy" was only a precautionary measure but he didn't think it was anything to worry about.
When the doctor gave this news to my Dad, my mother said it was absolutely heartwrenching when she saw the look of fear and panic on his face.
My Dad asked the doctor if this was the beginning of the end and wanted to know what the probable outcome was...was it hopeless? The doctor said, "No, it isn't. We are going to treat it very aggresively with the radiation." Thank God the next door neighbor took them to the doctor because there was no way my mother would have been able to drive safely after the visit. My Dad was sleeping when she called me with the news, and she said that he cried all the way home from the hospital and then when he got home, he just sobbed his heart out for about 30 minutes. He kept saying over and over, "I don't want to die. I'm not ready to die yet." He broke the news to my brother Joe, but he (my Dad) got so emotional after talking to him that he asked my Mom to make the rest of the phone calls and asked her to tell us that he didn't want to talk to anyone or see any of his children right now. He went into his room, shut the door and cried himself to sleep. He is thinking that he has already lost the battle. There is an organization of cancer patients that survived the worst of the worse, and they are going to go see my Dad tomorrow and will be his "support group" outside of the family. They've been exactly where he's at now and I think that even though we have been loving and supportive of my Dad, we cannot possibly imagine what he is going through, but these men can and my mother said the man from the Cancer Survivors support group will be there for him as long as he needs them...they will take him and my Mom to the doctor's, tell my Dad how they made it through and just give him some hope. Thankfully, my Mom contacted a Cancer Support group for the family, and she has been talking to her for the last few days.
I am still shocked and dismayed about this development, but I refuse to give up hope. My faith in God is all I have right now and I am hanging on for dear life, as are my brothers and sister.
If you would, please continue to keep my Dad and Mom in your prayers as you have been doing all along. Tonight I am scared, heartbroken and terrified, but I know what the power of prayer and absolute trust and faith in God can do, and no matter what happens, I'll make it through this ordeal.
Deej