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Is Paul Wellstone still alive?
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Posted on 10/30/2002 8:59:56 PM PST by ambrose
Is Paul Wellstone still alive?
TOPICS: Conspiracy
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Now here's the ultimate tinfoil hat theory which I have not seen posted anywhere. As crackpot theories go, this one actually makes the most sense...
The race was essentially a dead heat in the polls. Wellstone led slightly in some, Coleman led slightly in others. But in no poll was Wellstone ever close to the 50% mark. Nearly ever pundit acknowledges that an incumbent under 50% is in serious trouble.
The Clintons knew that Wellstone was in trouble as well. Having seen what a success the New Jersey switcheroo has turned out to be, the Clintons began to contemplate such a move in Minnesota. Unfortunately, Minnesota law does not permit such a late switch. Of course, neither did NJ law, but the prospects of the Minnesota Supreme Court permitting a switch this late seemed too iffy for the Clintons' taste.
But then the Clintons' army of lawyers discovered that Minnesota law would permit a late switch if the candidate dies. So Clinton made a few telephone calls and the Dixie Mafia sprung into action.
However, under this theory, Wellstone caught wind of the Clintons' plans and decided to stage his own death. Because of this, the Clintons agreed that they would not go forward with their plans. With a replacement candidate in for the election, the problem was solved.
The Democrats now believe that between Mondale and the sympathy vote, they will retain the Minnesota seat for sure. This might explain why last night's "memorial" was so festive... the Democrats are in on this dirty little secret as well.
So goes the theory. The crackpot theory. But hey, this is no worse than the DU's theory that George Bush is somehow responsible.
1
posted on
10/30/2002 8:59:56 PM PST
by
ambrose
To: ambrose
Planes DO crash every now and again, you know?
To: ambrose
"I . . .buried . . .Paul. . ."
3
posted on
10/30/2002 9:02:09 PM PST
by
BenLurkin
To: ambrose
** yawn **
To: ambrose
No ---he's as dead as Ron Brown...and Vince Foster...and James McDougal...and...
5
posted on
10/30/2002 9:05:38 PM PST
by
FITZ
To: ambrose
Stranger things have happened...
To: Sabertooth; Roebucks; CheneyChick; vikingchick; Victoria Delsoul; WIMom; coteblanche; ...
Ping.
7
posted on
10/30/2002 10:00:43 PM PST
by
ambrose
To: ambrose
Hmmmm .... Thanks for the heads up!
To: ambrose
LMFAO....Bobby Ewing in the shower is a classic! Paul is dead...and he aint in the Beatles
To: ambrose
Can we please cut out the BS like this post. It's just as wacko as the plane never hit the Pentagon silliness. It makes us look as goofy as the teenagers and lowlifes at DU.
To: ambrose
If ALL the dems in on it commit arkanside (which I am not hoping for...) then your theory will be proven correct. Bubba ain't one for leaving witnesses. Heck, Bubba ain't one for leaving people that took care of witnesses. Imagine, an endless series of hit men whacking hit men that whacked hit men......
11
posted on
10/30/2002 10:38:48 PM PST
by
thatdewd
To: Hillarys Gate Cult
Can we please cut out the BS like this post. It's just as wacko as the plane never hit the Pentagon silliness. It makes us look as goofy as the teenagers and lowlifes at DU. Hence the reason it was moved to "chat" although it deserves deletion. In the spirit of the holiday and the chattiness of the post's location, here is a ... Spooky Ride ...
A man stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door only to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way.
Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn't come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve.
The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a cantina and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying and wasn't drunk.
About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same cantina, and one said to the other. "Look, that's the character who climbed into our car while we were pushing!"
To: Cultural Jihad
Reminds me of this scary story;
A man who owns a pharmacy showed up at work one day around noon. He saw a man leaning against the wall outside with a grimace on his face. The owner asked his assistant manager who the guy outside was.
The assistant said, "He came in looking for cough medicine. I could not find any, so I gave him a bottle of laxative and told him to drink it all."
The manager said, "You can't cure a cough with laxative!"
The assistant replied, "Sure you can. Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
To: Cultural Jihad
This came from my email, the scary future;
NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally . . . Scientists stumped.
Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before
radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail to delivery on Wednesday only.
35-year study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
New Federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, flyswatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill Intern indicted for refusing to have sex with Congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate of 75%.
To: ambrose
The Republicans have zero motive....for the same reasons the Dems have one. The seat goes Democratic.
To: ambrose
Only if you believe in life after death.
16
posted on
10/31/2002 3:27:48 AM PST
by
katze
To: ambrose
I love the smell of tinfoil in the morning!
To: ambrose
Is Paul Wellstone still alive? Paul Wellstone is still.
To: glock rocks
He's dead Jim.
19
posted on
10/31/2002 5:43:53 AM PST
by
xp38
To: Hillarys Gate Cult; Roscoe
LOL! And the Libertarian Drug Enforcement Agency will prosecute people for felony drug evasion.
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