The Guild 9-19-2002 Researchers find suicide rates rise under conservative rule

ABCNewsOnline ^ | 9-19-2002

[lodwick]

I had not seen this tribute.

[Teacup]

Good morning honey bear. How are you? Hope everything is A-OK accross the pound. Keep up all the good work you're doing.

[pubmom]

What a bigmouth blowhard. Most women do not share Rosie's vision, and this is apparently news to Rosie. I'm sure those that stood in her way knew what a disaster she was making things and tried to stop it. She sullied her good name as soon as she opened her own mouth.

Gee Rosie, we don't all like other women in that way.

[MadIvan]

Good morning honey bear. How are you? Hope everything is A-OK accross the pound. Keep up all the good work you're doing.

What a sweet greeting. Yes everything is fine this afternoon. My thanks to you, and I hope all is well with you and yours.

Best Regards, Ivan

[Carolina]

Myrthless York needs to take lessons from these guys.

[lodwick]

What design is next? Taping a toilet seat to some model's behind? Would that pass for fashion?

Please don't give them ideas.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Fashions for Female Plummers.

I knew that there was a crack problem in America, but I didn't know that it was this bad. Ba da dum.

[pubmom]

Don't you mean ba da bum?

[Aggie Mama]

Hope everything went well. My son came home yesterday and said that he wasn't smart when it came to art. Unfortunately, I think art classes are geared towards girls. Now, if they had a construction class, DS could wow them with his tremendous lego abilities. =)

[lodwick]

Is this Hyacinth Bucket's daughter?

Or a guy, or what?

[lodwick]

BUYING GIFTS FOR MEN

Rule #1: When in doubt -- buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17, and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey, George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "Okay. By the way, are you through with my 3/8" socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he would not have invented jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips and flips and flips. Forget the program, your entertainment is watching him have fun!

Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. Men do not stink -- they are earthy.

Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #9: Never buy a man anything and then tell him he should read the instructions because the box says "some assembly required". It will ruin his Special Day. He will always have parts left over.

Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, Menards, Fleet Farms, and Lees Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook. But, they will barbecue. Get him a giant gas grill with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh, the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #12: Tickets to a Dodgers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #13: Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy the man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why, please refer to Rule #8 (Remember what happens when he gets a label maker?)

Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says "I love you" like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why. (AGS note: I prefer the 1/2" miulti-colored poly rope.)

Rule #16 NASCAR. Men love racing. Season passes if you are rich would make a nice gift...at least it gets the man out of the house 36 weekends a year...

RULE #17: Tarps. Men love tarps. Big ones - at least 10 x 12 feet. Helps haul the leaves out to the street. Make sure it is green or brown to remind him of the batchelor pad days with brown carpeting and green table cloths.

[lodwick]

More proof that StrangeCosmosGuys are at least lurkers.

And the StrangeCosmos link title: The Reason Hillary Wears a Pantsuit (PIAPS)

Come on StrangeCosmosGuys, what's your nicks here?

[mountaineer]

P.J. Corkery comments on "bedroom Chelsea" in the 9/16 SF Chronicle:

That item the other day in which I reported that it looked as if Chelsea Clinton and her Belvedere beau Ian Klaus had come to the end of the line seems contradicted by a controversial new pic in the current People mag. The pic of Chelsea, taken a few days after the New York sighting that led to the report of their being sullen, sad and sorry, shows her looking rather ecstatic. Ian is not far away. The inimitable Drudge Report says the pic depicts Chelsea, in public just after the U.S. Tennis Open, showing "bedroom pleasures on her face." That Drudge is one dainty writer.

Anyway the pic, which does seem to show Chelsea grooving to some handiwork from her handyman, is causing some controversy at People mag which obviously has decided to start printing very candid snapshots. Such photos exist, of course. In the past editors just used to can them. But the market is omnivorous now. link

If that means there are no holds barred, we should see some doozies when the lovebirds finally return to Capistrano, er, I mean Oxford.

[lodwick]

I truly get a bigger kick out of the excerpts and your wrap-up zingers than in any of the articles themselves - thanks a bunch.

Time for me to go create a sandwich or something. ;-)

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

This is really weird. When I first loaded the photo for Hyacinth's Daughter, I got porn. And I mean HUGE porn. I didn't understand it. I reloaded on ' My Comments' and the GUILD. Still I got HUGE porn.

Now it's a photo of a transvestite. Something really weird is going on.

[Teacup]

Chelsea will be on AB FAB????? HA! HA! HA! What a hoot. I hope Eddie and Patsy make her look stupid. The girls have a keen way of making fun of their guests on their shows. Maybe they'll say something about her huge BUM? LOL!

[lodwick]

If we think algore's internet is weird - just try and imagine his presidency. Mindboggling.

Do you still have the original Guild in the living room pic? That would be pleasant to see from time to time.

[Aggie Mama]

Right now I see a picture of a transvestite in awful glasses.

[Teacup]

Requesting prayers please

Prayers on the way. The other day grandson #2 got hit at school by a bully. We had a bad night, but all is well again. Let us know how it goes.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I will search for the living room photo for you.

As a sidelight...... I will be going to a taping of Hannity and Colmes this evening. It's taping at 6pm in Dearborn, Michigan. That is where all the muslims live. I am wondering if this will be a ' let's all try to love the Muslims' kind of show.

It will air at 9 tonight.