[stands2reason]

Looks like I've volunteered for the job, cuz. I'll try to fill your shoes 'til you get back. (yeah, right). I'm not used to doing original material, but I'll try to entertain the troops in your absence. This ain't exactly reading smutty books for the blind and disabled (which is my other volunteer work), but I think I can handle it.

[stands2reason]

reading smutty books for the blind and disabled

Okay, not smutty books per se, but trashy novels-- "historical romances" is the euphemism they're referred to in polite company.